Growth is a lifelong journey for every Christian. We’re always learning, no matter how old we are — and it seems most often from our own mistakes! My path as a Christian wife and mother of 10 (now expecting our 11th!) has been up and down, joyful at times and painful at others. And yet, I clearly sense God’s hand at work through everything. Please join me as I share Part 2 of this article series about what my road has been like, and what I’m learning.

If you’re encouraged by it, please leave a comment for me and for other readers at the end! What a beautiful opportunity we have to support each other in our individual biblical womanhood journeys.

In Part 1 of this article, you already read about:

• Why my husband and I have so many children,
• How I’ve given birth to our babies, and
• What it’s like homeschooling multiple children of various ages.

Now, in Part 2, you’ll discover:

• How I deal with my imperfections as a parent,
• The way we pass our faith on to our children,
• My thoughts on being regarded a “fundie,” and
• Why I started headcovering.

This interview was conducted in early 2026 by a dear friend of mine and long-time reader of this blog, Kinuko, who later published it on her blog in Japanese. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed participating in this interview!

Part 2

“Passing on faith” is difficult, isn’t it?

Interviewer (Kinuko): Many parents struggle with the gap between their ideals and reality, and sometimes feel crushed by regret over their own actions or words—thinking, “I should have done this,” or “I wish I hadn’t said that.” What words of comfort would you offer to mothers and fathers who fall into such self-blame?

Jessica: I’m no stranger to those feelings! Many times, I have thought to myself that if only I had done something differently, things would have been so much better for our family and we could have avoided certain problems. However, there is no such thing as a “perfect parent,” and we have to let go of our perfectionist ideas. We have to accept that we will make mistakes. But we also need to place our hope in God, Who can bring good out of our mistakes: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

God knew we would be imperfect parents before He caused us to conceive these children – and yet He sent them anyway. What was He thinking? He was thinking that He would be with us every step of the way, through every trial, every challenge, every mistake. He would use these things for our good, so that we would learn from them and grow from them – so that in the end, somehow, we would be better off for having made those mistakes and suffered that pain. Not because making mistakes is “good” but because God is good, and even our mistakes are under His sovereign control. He uses all things to accomplish His ultimate purposes, even the “bad” stuff.

Believing this has given me hope as I daily face the truth that I’m a flawed parent. God’s sovereignty should comfort Christian parents as we realize it’s not all up to us, but God is constantly behind the scenes, making this story turn out the way He intends.

Interviewer: In modern faith-based families, one major challenge is how a parent’s faith is passed on to their children. To what extent do you think the timing and degree to which a child’s freedom to interpret and receive that faith should be respected? How do you approach the balance between “holding firm” and “letting go”?

Jessica: This feels easier when children are younger and like little sponges but trickier when they’re older and begin to develop their own opinions – sometimes very strong ones. First of all, the Bible must always be our guide. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 says,

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 

Interviewer: It’s like God’s teachings naturally take root in your daily life … that’s the feeling I get.

Jessica: That’s right. We are commanded to teach God’s word diligently to our children. This is our job as parents, because it says “teach them to your children,” and it’s something we’re supposed to be doing constantly, as a way of life (“diligently”). Homeschooling provides the perfect opportunity for accomplishing this.

Interviewer: How should parents respond to the question, “Isn’t this brainwashing?”

Jessica: It’s not “brain washing” to teach our children the truth of God’s word; it’s obedience to God. In fact, all parents, whether Christian or not, raise their children according to their personal ideals. Even parents who believe there is no ultimate truth raise their children with this belief – but they don’t think of it as “brain washing,” they think of it as “presenting reality.” So, I’m going to raise my children according to reality, too – but not a distorted reality that says God doesn’t exist, an accurate reality that says God does exist, and this is the way He expects us to relate to Him and to each other in this world that He’s made and under Whose rule we exist.

Faith × Logic = Unbreakable Spirit — Cultivating the Power to Think

Interviewer: I see. So, faith gradually grows through daily life.

Jessica: Yes, however that alone is not enough. I strongly believe in raising children with a correct and thorough knowledge of the basic truths of God’s word. It must be our daily diet. However, we would be doing our children a disservice to not also cause them to be aware of other viewpoints and learn how to engage with those viewpoints. This is called “biblical apologetics.”

Very young children can simply be told, “Some people don’t believe this, but this is what the Bible teaches is true.” As children get older, they can be given more specifics about why something is true or untrue.

Highschoolers are capable of reasoning at a higher level and can be exposed to books by nonbelievers, while at the same time be given a biblical framework for engaging with the ideas in those books. They should be taught basic logic – and logic always aligns with the Bible, because, as I once heard Ben Shapiro say in an interview, “God doesn’t make stupid rules.” Even in matters of faith, there is always reason and logic which undergirds that faith, evidence that supports our beliefs. Children must be shown how this is so; if they aren’t able to engage with the false ideas of this world from a biblical standpoint, their faith may crumble when they leave home.

Interviewer: Right. But realistically speaking, it seems that even children raised in Christian families often drift away from their faith gradually in their mid-to-late teens. No matter how much love parents shower on their children and how carefully they try to pass on their faith (while being careful not to put pressure on them), various things, such as the surrounding environment, can trigger or hurt them, making it difficult for them to continue their faith. What are your thoughts on this?

Jessica: Yes, that does happen. However, even those children who grew up in a Christian home and were taught the truth, but later seem to have left it, continue to be blessed by the benefit of that upbringing. What they were taught may come back to them at a later time, and they will think, “Why did I abandon what I knew to be true? I will go back to what I was brought up with” (similar to the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32). We can’t know the harvest God has planned, but must wait through the hard times, trusting in God’s word, which reminds us, “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9).

Beyond the “Fanatical” Image: A Look at the Reality of American Evangelicals

Interviewer: In Japan, understanding of Christianity is still limited, and in recent years, the mainstream media has sometimes emphasized negative images of “American Evangelicals” (such as “religious right,” “fanatical,” or “fundamentalist”). As someone within that community, how do you feel about these portrayals? Is there anything you would like to say to Japanese readers?

Jessica: Well, no matter what country we come from, we all struggle with understanding others outside our group, and we all need to be careful to not form biased opinions based upon incorrect assumptions. It’s no different here in the United States. Even among Christians here, there can be misunderstandings when time is not taken to understand what the other group of people is trying to say.

Sometimes, we only think we understand and then tear down a “straw man” when we mistakenly assume we know what they believe and attempt to dismantle their logic. Turns out, we were wrong about what they actually believe to start out with!

It is so important to listen to others – to pay attention to what they’re actually saying in their videos, books, and social media. We need to carefully consider the whole message and not just a one-minute clip.  Why do they believe what they believe? Let’s find out first, before forming any strong opinions about them. 

Note from Kinuko: In Japanese media, the term “evangelical” is often associated with negative images such as “fanaticism,” but in reality, there are many calm and thoughtful evangelical Christians.

For example, the British politician William Wilberforce (1759–1833).
He placed evangelical faith at the core of his political ethics and worked
for many years to abolish slavery, making a significant contribution to its realization.

Furthermore, he dedicated himself to areas such as reform of the penal system and animal protection,
profoundly influencing the moral foundation of British society.
His life was depicted in the film Amazing Grace (2006),
and he is still highly regarded today as a reformer who acted persistently based on his beliefs.

Interviewer: So, it starts with understanding the other person’s perspective and way of thinking, right? That’s an important step.

Jessica: Yes. In my personal life, I value reading the Bible, trying my best to understand it, and doing what it says. I may be called a “fundamentalist” or a “fundie” in a derogatory way. I may be labeled and stereotyped and caricatured. Okay … but why should that matter to me? The only people who would view me that way are people who don’t really know me. But if you take the time to know me, you will find that I’m not crazy but that I love God and am trying my best to take the Bible’s teaching to its logical conclusion in my everyday life. I will not do this perfectly, and I may be wrong about some things. However, being wrong about some things doesn’t mean I’m wrong about everything. I’m still growing, just as everybody else is. 

It’s essential to have patience with each other, even when we disagree. Especially when we disagree. And that can be hard to do! God says, “Let your gentleness be known to all men” (Philippians 4:5). A gentle person is gracious and forbearing.

Interviewer: That’s true, it’s especially important to be considerate when you have differing opinions.

Jessica: Yes, I believe that once we get to know what other people really think and why, we will find our respect for them growing. We may realize that we had a false sense of superiority and may feel embarrassed to realize that actually, it was we ourselves who had limited information and were wrong about something. It’s always worth it to seek understanding before judgment, and to practice forbearance over “cancel culture.”

Sharing warms our faith 🌸

Interviewer: In my own Orthodox Christian community, as well as in traditional Catholic communities, there are many large families. In today’s world—where long-held biblical values on family, marriage, and sexuality are easily shaken—how do you think believers can encourage and support one another?

Jessica: I think believers – in a general sense – are already doing much to encourage each other in various ways: podcasts, YouTube videos, books, blog articles, and social media. When we know why we believe as we do, and why that reason is better than the reason for the alternative view, our values are strengthened. Continued intellectual support for the Christian faith is essential. Among other valuable resources, I appreciate Answers in Genesis for the  intellectual, biblical support they provide. 

Continued emotional support is essential as well. Even when we know something is true and it has great intellectual support, we may not care very much if we have to be “right” all alone. This is where relationships come in. And I’m not talking about “I’ve read this person’s Instagram posts, and they’re amazing!” I’m talking about personally knowing each other. This may start with Instagram, or some other online platform, but it can’t stay there if we want to grow in actual friendship. There needs to be personal interaction in other forms, such as video chats, hand-written letters, lengthy emails discussing different subjects, and if possible, seeing each other in person and spending time with each other.

Interviewer: It’s wonderful to have genuine connections that go beyond superficial relationships. It would be great if we could deepen our relationships little by little over time, wouldn’t it?

Jessica: Absolutely. In the case of Christians who are local to one another, taking time to have people over for dinner is one easy and important way we can get to know each other and be a part of each other’s lives. Delivering a hot meal when someone is sick or just had a baby, watching each other’s kids when something urgent comes up (or when the parents simply need time together), visiting with each other over coffee or tea, etc. are all good ways to show other Christians we care.

We can’t practice the “one anothers” of Scripture unless we are actually part of each other’s lives – and that happens not by accident, but on purpose, as we seek each other out and set aside time from our busy schedules to spend time with each other. Isolated Christians are weak and frail, but Christians who are part of a healthy community will be strong and thriving. That’s one good reason to be part of a faithful, local church.

I believe there is a growing minority of Christians who long for additional, more specific support: those who have chosen to be outliers in the current church culture. These are the ones who have chosen to be open to God’s sovereign will for the size of their family, to homeschool their children, to honor biblical male/female roles, to wear a headcovering, etc. Since some churches (though certainly not all) have become more worldly in these areas, a recovery is necessary, but this will require concentrated effort.

Though it is hypothetically possible that some of these outliers may feel superior because of their “uniqueness” (a common accusation), I believe it’s realistically more likely that most feel isolated in practicing their convictions. As a result, they would cherish their fellow Christians’ warmhearted hand of fellowship. Instead of keeping each other at a cold distance, we can try to understand each other by diving deeper into the topics that divide us. As we do so humbly and honestly, an increased respect will do much to bridge the gap and draw us together.

Why Headcovering?

Bonus Section: The Biblical Practice of Headcovering

Interviewer: You are a head-covering practitioner, which is quite rare in the modern churches. What led you to begin wearing a headcovering? And how do you think this practice has impacted you as a mother, a wife, and a Christian woman?

Jessica: I have been headcovering since 2012. The way I currently practice this biblical tradition is by wearing a headcovering every time I’m in church for a formal church gathering where there will be preaching, teaching, and/or prayer. When I first began this practice, I also covered during personal Bible reading, while giving my children a Bible lesson, and while praying with my family. Some women choose to cover full time, while others (like myself) cover only at certain times.

Growing up, I had always experienced an uneasy feeling when I encountered the headcovering passage (1 Corinthians 11:2-16). Even though I was told that the headcovering portion of this passage was culturally dated and didn’t apply to modern Christians, that interpretation seemed weak to me and was hard for me to believe. It didn’t seem logical that the Holy Spirit, speaking through Paul, would spend so much time defending the practice of headcovering if, in the end, He could have just said, “Don’t look like those loose women. Wear what is deemed appropriate for a virtuous woman to wear in public in your culture.” Wouldn’t that have been a lot easier?

But instead, God points to (1) Spiritual Hierarchy and Roles, (2) Creation Order, (3) Nature, (4) Angels, and (5) Universal Church Practice as reasons for women to wear a headcovering and for men to abstain while praying or prophesying. These reasons seem to be saying to us that headcovering is more than an outdated cultural practice but is a timeless biblical mandate for New Testament believers. 

However, though I had my doubts that the generally-accepted interpretation was correct, I didn’t have the courage to challenge it in my own life until I came across a blog written by a Christian woman. In it, she described why she wore a headcovering. Intrigued, I started to look into it and came to the conclusion that my previous doubts had not been so crazy after all! There were others who also had that unsettled feeling. Once I became convinced from the Bible that headcovering really was for today, and emboldened by this lady’s courageous stance, I took the plunge and started doing it.

I began with plenty of uncertainties about how, exactly, I was going to headcover: Which style would I wear? How would I keep it on? Would I cover full time or part time? And if part time, during which activities would I cover? I didn’t worry too much about all these details, though, because I believed I would figure these things out in time – and I did.

At first, I was a little awkward – my style was awkward, but I also felt internally awkward and uncomfortable. Later, this changed. I learned how to wear my headcovering better, and I became more comfortable wearing it at church, even though none of the other women wore one except me.

Being alone has been a sort of blessing in itself. It’s taught me to follow Scripture instead of following other people’s opinions. It’s helped me to become closer to God. But it’s also helped me to get to know other women I never would have met if it hadn’t been for headcovering – committed Christian women like yourself (Kinuko), among many others. I count myself immensely blessed to know them!

The Blessings of Head Covering in My Homelife

In my homelife, headcovering has been a helpful reminder of the special place God has made for me as a woman. My God-given role is focused on being a helper to my husband, a manager of our home, and a dedicated mother to our children. It is a role of loving service. It is a good and necessary role, one that should never be minimized. It’s just as important as the man’s role of leadership, protection, and provision.

The roles are not divided by God between “superior” and “inferior” – they are simply categorized by God based upon the way He designed us intrinsically as human beings, both male and female. We are most glorious when we live according to our design. The headcovering is a practical reminder of this beautiful biblical truth. Even when I get bossy with my husband and dissatisfied with how things are going in our home (remember I said that I’m not perfect!), this piece of cloth gently reminds me to return to the blessed place of my role. I step out of blessing when I step out of my role, but I return to that place of peace when I choose to bring myself under the authority of God’s word.

Other Christians may assume different things about me – perhaps they assume I look down on them and think I’m more holy then they are; perhaps they assume I’m trying to earn my salvation by following an outward set of rules; or maybe they wonder if I’m returning to the Law of the Old Testament because I supposedly don’t understand grace (though headcovering isn’t mandated in the Old Testament, only in the New). Oh, my! Remember how we talked about the importance of listening to each other so we can understand each other and not make “straw man” arguments? None of those assumptions about me are accurate!

However, if someone were to openly ask me why I cover, I would tell them plainly and sweetly the reason why. I would tell them that I cover because 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 says to do so. It’s okay if our interpretations differ. I believe we can still be on good terms – friends, even – despite our differences of opinion. 

And that’s another thing that headcovering has taught me: how to have a gracious attitude toward others when I know they don’t agree with me. It’s taught me how to obey what I believe the Bible teaches with courage and deep conviction while being patient and having respect for others who don’t believe the same way. All these lessons demonstrate that headcovering is not a “silly practice” – it’s actually a valuable instructor in Christian maturity. Sure, I could learn these lessons a myriad of other ways, but God, in His sovereignty, has decided that the way I will learn them is through the biblical practice of headcovering.  

Conclusion to the Interview

Jessica: On my journey as a Christian woman, wife, and mother, I’ve been learning so much about how to follow Christ in the normal aspects of everyday life! Headcovering is a part of this — and so is modesty (I wear skirts and dresses only), homeschooling, and being a stay-at-home mom. Connected to these issues, and to other areas as well, is the growth of my character as a person. There is what you may see on the surface, but the struggle reaches deeper. When confronted with my failures, I have a choice: either continue going the wrong way, or turn to Christ for help.

No matter what our personal convictions are on Christianity’s hot-button topics, one thing I think we can all agree on is that the answer to every problem is Jesus. Whether we’re talking about parenting issues, marriage issues, or anything else, He is the One Who can help us work it out. Above all, that is what I’m learning on my sanctifying journey as a Christian wife and mother.

Interviewer: Thank you!

About the Interviewer:

Kinuko

I am drawn to small things, beautiful things, and words that resemble prayers. I believe in Christ and walk through life in the spiritual currents of Eastern Orthodoxy, searching for the faint light that breathes in each day. I live with my Middle Eastern Christian husband in a Greek village amid an orchard.