It’s okay if you don’t wear skirts and dresses all the time like I do. It’s okay if your style is different than mine. It’s okay if we have different opinions about the “best” way to dress. It’s even okay if you think I’m wrong; I hope it’s okay with you if I think you’re wrong (though that’s not to say that I necessarily do). Can we still be on good terms? Can we be friendly, smile at each other and mean it, and see and appreciate the good in the other person?
šThis is a message meant to communicate the heart of Christian women everwhere who have met any kind of negative reaction to their choice to dress differently, or to live in more traditional ways.
My Conviction
Lots of us have something we call “my conviction.” That’s good! It’s good to be convinced about something strongly. It’s good to live with conviction and not be a wimpy “blender-inner” who just does what everybody else does so you can fit in with them and not feel weird. If you have a strong conviction, I applaud you for being willing to be a little (or a lot) different for the sake of your beliefs, whatever they may be. That’s a valuable quality.
I have my convictions, too. Is that alright with you? Can you see me enjoy skirts and dresses and be happy for me (or at least pleasantly tolerant of me) and my choice to live by this particular conviction? I hope so.
Wearing a long, flowing dress or skirt makes me feel extra feminine. Flower prints are my favorite! As I walk, sit, bend, and kneel throughout my day, managing all the regular chores and tasks of homelife, the sensation of a dress hem brushing against my ankles enlivens my sense of sweet, modest womanhood.
I am who God made me to be, and this way of dressing is an expression of it.
I am joyful — joyfully modest and feminine!
Do you look down on me for it?
See me as less?
Are you the better one because you don’t subscribe to such “archaic” and “oppressive” notions?
Do you think I’m “legalistic”?
Am I silly to you?
Well . . . that’s okay. It really is. I’ll just keep being who I am.
Trying to Please You
Every one of us has a clock inside, one that is ticking away the years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, and moments of life. The clock stops ticking when we pass through the door of death into what comes next. Until then, it ticks and ticks away without a single pause — not for anybody, anywhere.
I don’t know when my clock will run out, but I know it will eventually, and in the meantime, I don’t want to waste my precious life trying to please you. I know I couldn’t really do that anyway: there will always be something that you find in me that doesn’t agree with you, that you would change about me if you could.
No. I’ll just be myself and be joyfully so. I’ll do things like have lots of babies, wear a headcovering, homeschool my kids, stay at home and be a traditional housewife, and wear long skirts and dresses every day. If that bothers you, that’s okay. You don’t have to like me. There’s no reason you have to follow my blog, watch my videos, read my social media posts, or even talk to me. If I’m not your cup of tea, find a different flavor that suits you better; we don’t have to be best friends.
I Just Want to Ask One Thing of You
Let me just ask you to do this, though: could you find it in your heart to care enough about me (or at least about fairness) to let me be happy? Let me love my life. You don’t need to criticize me for my choices. You don’t need to say derogatory things about me, as if I’m cultish, brainwashed, or mentally challenged.
Let me be me.
But Also . . .
Let’s acknowledge that I love the Bible and want to follow it, and that’s why I do what I do. I’m trying my best to live out practically, what it means to follow Christ. I’m not doing this to show off. And I’m not doing this just for me, though it certainly is an expression of who I feel I am inside; I’m doing this for God, because it’s part of my faith. And that is something I need for you to respect.
If you love the Bible, too, great! We’re both growing in our knowledge and love of the Scriptures. We’re not going to grow in exactly the same areas at exactly the same time at exactly the same rate. We each have a unique pattern to our personal growth, and that will mean we develop our own personalized convictions, which may or may not be the same right now.
But I trust that if we truly do love the Lord and His word, as more time passes, and as we continue to study the Bible and try our best to live out its teaching, eventually our convictions will look more and more similar. We will move closer to each other in our beliefs.
After all, if the word of God is truly the word of God, it will work in both our lives to make us more and more like Jesus, and reflect more and more of the truth and love that resides perfectly in the Son of God.
There is only one truth for all of us.
There are not two truths, or three truths, or any other number of truths.
But there are many, many convictions. We like to label our convictions “truth” — and sometimes that label is correct, depending on the conviction. And sometimes our conviction is close to the truth, but not exactly on perfect target. That could be true of me. It could also be true of you.
And that is why it is so necessary to be humble.
I haven’t always been humble; I know it. You’ve got to admit (come on now, you know it’s true of you, too), we have a hard time not feeling a bit “superior” when comparing ourselves to other people who don’t share our convictions.
And it could be, maybe those other people really are wrong. Or maybe I’m really wrong about something, or maybe you’re really wrong about something. Let’s be willing to examine ourselves to see if we’re wrong . . . or merely on the different-but-still-approved-by-the-Bible spectrum.
When it comes to wearing skirts and dresses, or wearing pants, or anything else, let’s be ourselves — but also, let’s be humble. We can have a conviction, and believe in something, and believe that something is more right than the other options, and even believe that other people are wrong and be vocal about it, while being able to love those who don’t share our conviction. We can be willing to change if we find out later that we were wrong. And we can also have a continuous, lifelong conviction, and despite the way it makes us different from others, live it out with unashamed, undiminshed joy.
~Jessica
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I loved reading your article Jessica! It is amazing that you would ever feel anything but completely embraced exactly right where you are. You are beautiful in the Lord’s sight, and that is ALL that should matter to anyone ESPECIALLY to those who belong to Christ! No division is in the body of Christ, no division should ever come from the heart toward others who are striving and striding in ways we may not (yet).
I would love to wear dresses all the time, but am more comfortable in simple headband style coverings and slacks with longer shirts because my feet are more comfortable in “sneakers”due to arthritis. I would be devastated to think anyone who wears skirts all the time looked at me as not following a pattern of modesty as best I could; but I’m sure it happens. I’m also sure other think I look like a puritan because I overhead someone saying that once! You really CANNOT PLEASE ANYONE but the Lord! So let’s let it be from the heart as you are doing so well!
How wonderful it will be to be clothed in our heavenly dwelling in Christ! These are just “glimpses” of what already is, and what is yet to come. It should be SO CELEBRATED and CHERISHED when a woman can fully embrace her feminity in the Lord and display herself in modesty, humility, and with good deeds while living in the abundant JOY of Christ.
I celebrate you and treasure your example from my heart! You have encouraged me. God bless you!
Love,
Tara
Dear Tara,
Thank you so much for your caring comment! It truly uplifted my heart.š
I thought it was interesting that you mentioned being clothed in our heavenly dwelling in Christ. I’ve always believed that we will literally be wearing long, white robes in heaven. I suppose the men would, too, but of course the women would probably have fuller robes because of the different shape of our bodies. We, in our new, perfect bodies, with gorgeous, elegant garments, enjoying the glories of heaven with Christ — just thinking about how beautiful that coming time will be encourages me! Wearing modest, pretty clothes right now is sort of a way to get ready for that time.
“Following a pattern of modesty as best as we can.” Yes! I love this! It was so good to hear from you. I love that we can give each other support in living out modesty and femininity the best we can in each of our own particular circumstances. š
~Jessica
I love your posts, and I love the way you dress and cover your head too!!ā¦ everything about your walk with God is lovely and very encouraging!!! Thank you sister!!!ā„ļø
You’re so sweet, Pamela! This really encourages me!
Jessica, thank you for sharing. And thank you for sticking to your convictions, which is something not too many people do anymore. And I even mean that this includes those in Christ. I at one time was very convicted to wear head coverings, keep my hair long and never wear pants. As years went by, and I became very sick with Lyme disease, I began keeping my hair short as it was too long to take care of in my weakness and times I could not get out of bed. Then, I began to wear leggings around the house as they kept me warm and my skin was so sensitive. Dresses and skirts no longer worked for me. However, if I COULD do these two things, I still would which means I hold to my convictions, but the experience of being so ill and having to cope in different ways taught me the valuable lesson of not judging others. If I see a woman with short hair now, or who is wearing leggings out in public, I ask myself if this woman might be sick or have cancer or… ??? We can still keep our convictions even though life throws us a curve ball. God is all merciful, and He alone is the only one who can judge the human heart. I used to be so joyful going out in public with long hair, a covering and modest long dresses. I felt I was a witness to other young women. But that time is over for me and I am still joyful that no matter what I wear ( or can no longer wear due to my health condition) God still speaks to me and I know He sees and loves me.
Thank you for this, Cynthia! Beautiful words.š I love to see testimonies of how God has worked in our lives to help us grow in understanding, faith, and love.
Greetings madam i am so blessed to hear your testimony on obey God. Just as you stated there is only one truth and that is for English speakers the Holy Bible KJV only others bibles in English are not the Word of God but copyright novels that were giving us by the devil to keep us off the the narrow way.
I give you this truth in love the Bible does command that women are not to wear pants if we do so it is an abomination before God for pants pertain to a man.
Itās even written in the ways of the this world when we use the rest room and one bathroom has man in pants and women in a dress.
This is just simple truth no if you are truth Christian then we must preach this truth to all itās not opinions itās truth God commands it.
Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
Itās also commanded by God for women to wear a veil on our head when we pray and prophesy and all times for we pray without ceaseing.
1 Corinthians 11:5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
1 Corinthians 11:6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
This is simple truth anyone who calls themselves a Christian does not know this truth because the church system do not preach this truth and causing women to sin agguest God. Or they are rebellious and deny the Word of God.
Like you said we must obey God and itās up to all us to read his Word and do what it says.
For Eternity is too long to be wrong!!!!!
As itās good and right you to see these truth but itās is one truth that so many churches deny.
Is that baptism saves you itās for remission of our sins.
If I may ask you have you been baptism in name of Jesus Christ or in titles The Father Son and Holy Ghost?
Have you received the Holy Ghost since you believed?
Acts 2:4 And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
I give you this in love because you have willingness to obey God.
https://youtu.be/Iu-uORAGx58?si=G6uX2iLvx2LzcyrM
I in time past was blind from all this truth and tell God pull me out and show me the truth of his Word and he will do it for anyone who will read his Word KJV and do what it says.
Psalms 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
Here is a blessed man of God who is ordained by God to teach his Word.
https://youtu.be/sF7LxorsJ7Q?si=8W5N-_7NX1wsIE39
Hi, Monica!
Good to hear from you! I think we have similar perspectives on some things. I’m not KJV only, but I do appreciate the KJV and use it for my daily Bible reading, and I quote it on my blog.
I do feel that wearing dresses is the most feminine and beautiful way a woman could dress, which is why I’ve chosen to wear skirts and dresses all the time. I think the principle of it is supported in the Bible, but I don’t think there is a specific verse for it. For those interested in more specifics regarding my thoughts on skirts and dresses vs. pants, here is a good starting place: Modesty
And this blog’s Statement of Faith, for those who would like to know my doctrinal stance: Doctrine
~Jessica
I like your posts and agree. I also agree with the other positive comments. You are a beautiful and inspiring example in Christ. š¤
Thanks! I’m so grateful you took the time to leave me this encouraging comment.š
Also, I donāt know why my username has some random name on it. I guess I have to figure that out. I am new to all this.
Ha, ha, “impossibly cool…” No worries! It’s been so long since I chose my username, I don’t even remember how I did it, but I think it was pretty easy.š
Thank you Jessica for this beautiful post. I love wearing long dresses and skirts and as you know I wear a headcovering. I’ve learned not to argue with dare I say it “fools” who really want argue for the sake of arguing. Many I think are probably convicted and don’t want to admit it. Case in point, I follow this Christian young lady on Instagram who dresses modestly. On a recent post some lady commented she wasn’t impressed with her clothing and blah blah blah. I responded to her comment that she wasn’t dressing to please her. She then responded to me that the young lady was trying to impress people otherwise she wouldn’t have posted what she was wearing. I’m like.š¤¦š¾āāļø
That’s when I realized I was arguing with a fool and decided not to respond to her again.
I don’t know where I was going with all that.
I will say it’s so hard when you’re alone in your convictions. I would love it if even one woman in my church shared my convictions but there are none. Not one fellow head covering woman. Not one fellow dresses and skirts only woman and that makes me sad.
You’re welcome, Regina!
I appreciate your comment so much! Yes, I know how hard it can be to be alone. God made us to live in community, and when we feel isolated in our convictions, it can be very disheartening! That’s part of the reason why I decided to just be joyful about my choices (though by saying this, I’m not minimalizing the difficulty of being alone). If I’m happy with my life, and I’m doing my best to obey God, then that’s the most important thing to me.
I’m going to be praying for you, friend.š
~Jessica
Amen Jessica. Amen!š¢( Tears for joy).
Great post, Jessica!!!! š
Thank you, Diana!š
Beautiful, encouraging words! Thank you!
So glad to hear you enjoyed the article! Thanks!
Great article and so encouraging! Thank you!
Wonderful to hear that, thanks!
Great post! Now, I have a question unrelated to this subject if I may. Iām posting it here since this is your most recent blog post.
At what age did you start homeschooling your son? I have a 2 year old son and I know that boys are very different from girls as far as development and learning goes. When is the right time for me to start? 5? 6? Right now the focus is educational play, books, puzzles. Thank you in advance for your response!
Hi, Jesse!
Two is such a sweet age. We have a two-year-old, and he is the love of my heart. š
What has worked for us is a readiness-sensitive approach, where we give the child plenty of opportunities to play and learn, as you’re doing, and get more serious about a subject when they seem ready.
For example, my four-year-old wanted to know how to write his name, so I’m teaching him that. He is very excited about it! He asks me every day if we can do his “letters.”
At this age, playing is the most important form of learning. Especially outside. And of course reading lots of books to our children is important! But we do formally, though gently, start kindergarten studies (math and language arts) at about five or six. Kindergarten can last a year or two, depending on the needs of the child.
Any more questions? I’m happy to help, if I can!
~Jessica