Building a Family Legacy that Lasts

Along the public pathway near our house is a fence which is broken in many places, like a mouth with a bunch of teeth knocked loose. It’s a sizeable white, plastic structure stretching (literally) for miles; you can tell it started out as a nice idea, but years later — and after lots of reckless treatment — it looks junky and cheap.

My son and I were disccussing how foolish it seems to us that the Town went with the lowest bidder instead of investing in a high-quality product with greater durability. This would have actually saved a lot of money, in the end. Predictably, the work didn’t last; it wasn’t made with the long term in mind. I hope our home life doesn’t fit that description.

How easy it is to go the cheap route, thinking only of the now in our day-to-day lives. I do that. I do that more than I’d like to admit. I do it when I see the house is a mess and shout at my kids to clean it up. How selfish and short sighted that is! Not the wanting to have a clean house part, but the getting upset part. The short-term satisfaction of having a nice-looking home (which I achieve, in this example, through irritated coercion): does it justify the sacrifice of the long-term durability of our relationship? Will this fence go down after a few years because I didn’t invest in the future?

The Bible talks about this type of foolishness. It says that a wise woman builds her house UP, but a foolish woman tears it DOWN:

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

Whether through active mishandling or through careless neglect, our home can suffer damage at our own hands. Though we feel we love our family and want what’s best for them, our actions could be accomplishing the exact opposite.

We want to create a place of peaceful order, yet perhaps we shout un-peacefully to achieve it. We want our husband to honor us, but maybe we grumble about how we don’t feel honored and actually make him feel less like honoring us. We want to raise our daughters to be sweet and loving, but possibly show them how to nag and complain, instead. How careful we need to be, if we truly value our home and want our family legacy to last!

I fail every day, in one way or another. I sometimes cry in my bathroom, telling God, I just don’t know how to do this. You need to show me how, because I’m making a mess of it. I trust in His mercy to take my mistakes and make something good out of them. Does that sound familiar? It’s okay if it does.

Now, here are some helpful thoughts based on Proverbs 14:1 for us ladies who want to build our houses UP to consider. I found them inspirational. Take a look:

John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible

Every wise woman buildeth her house
Not only by her fruitfulness, as Leah and Rachel built up the house of Israel; but by her good housewifery, prudent economy; looking well to the ways of her household; guiding the affairs of her house with discretion; keeping all things in a good decorum; and bringing up her children in virtue, and in the fear and admonition of the Lord. . . .

Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (Complete)

A good wife is a great blessing to a family. By a fruitful wife a family is multiplied and replenished with children, and so built up. But by a prudent wife, one that is pious, industrious, and considerate, the affairs of the family are made to prosper, debts are paid, portions raised, provision made, the children well educated and maintained, and the family has comfort within doors and credit without; thus is the house built. She looks upon it as her own to take care of, though she knows it is her husband’s to bear rule in, Esth. 1:22 . Many a family is brought to ruin by ill housewifery, as well as by ill husbandry. A foolish woman, that has no fear of God nor regard to her business, that is wilful, and wasteful, and humoursome, that indulges her ease and appetite, and is all for jaunting and feasting, cards and the play-house, though she come to a plentiful estate, and to a family beforehand, she will impoverish and waste it, and will as certainly be the ruin of her house as if she plucked it down with her hands; and the husband himself, with all his care, can scarcely prevent it.

I noticed that both commentaries mention the wife building up her house through being fruiful and having children. That’s something our modern church culture under-values. I also noticed they both said the word, housewifery. A good wife is a house wife, which makes sense because she can’t build her house very well if she’s not at her house. And the commentaries go on to mention all the ways this fruitful housewife goes about her God-given duties — as a queen caring for her castle under her husband’s rule, as a careful and intelligent manager.

This is truly something to aspire to!

This is not slapping together a cheap fence which will fall down after a little while; this is investing in the long term — and in our case, eternity.

• What are some struggles you have had, or are currently having, as a homemaker?
• Could you share with us how you are working on building up your home–both the spiritual lessons you’re learning, along with practical ideas?

~Jessica