There are two instances spoken of in the Bible about living 40 years in the desert. One is about the Israelites wandering around nomadically as a consequence for their lacking faith in God. The second one actually comes before that and is about Moses caring for sheep in that blurry period between his flight from Egypt and his return there to rescue the Israelites (Acts 7:23-30).
Have you ever felt like you could relate to Moses, apparently just twiddling his thumbs, not doing much of anything? Trapped? Useless? Leading about a bunch of witless sheep when instead you should be doing something noble like freeing your countrymen from bondage?
I think many mothers understand that feeling.
Me, a Shepherdess?
So here we have Moses, very well educated in Egypt’s courts (Acts 7:22), “wasting away” his talents and strengths tending sheep in the desert, it would seem. God didn’t think he was ready to lead the Israelites out of slavery until forty years of this had gone by (and the general situation may not have been ripe yet, either). He was 80 years old by the time God spoke to him out of the burning bush — 80 years OLD! (Exodus 7:7)
For some reason, God didn’t officially call the 40-year-old Moses, or the 50-year-old Moses, or the 60- or 70-year-old Moses to His service. What was God doing? Didn’t He know that the “best” years of Moses’ life were dwindling away? Didn’t God know that the Israelites were suffering?
I can’t say that I’m sure I know exactly what God was doing. One thing I DO know is this: contrary to how it may have seemed, it all had a purpose.
If God had a purpose behind Moses shepherding sheep for 40 years, surely He has a purpose behind my shepherding the children He’s given me. And, He will not release me from this duty until just the right time.
What if it takes 40 long years before I can finally volunteer at church and “save” all the people who come there needing help?
So be it. I have sheep to shepherd.
I don’t have to do everything to help everybody; I only have to do my best to help the people God has placed in my life as a priority. And during this season of life, that would be my husband and children.
You may like to read:
When We Want to Do More — But Can’t
If there’s any doubt on this point, one only needs to study what the Bible says about women and their role, and men and their role. Unless they devote themselves to a life of singleness and service to God, the younger women are supposed to “marry, bear children, guide the house” (1 Timothy 5:14). Simple, kinda like, “take care of sheep in the desert until I tell you it’s time to do otherwise.”
I have to trust that God knows what He’s doing with my life, even if it doesn’t seem like much is happening right now. A lot could be going on that I don’t know about! It may be crucially important — even absolutely essential — that I stick to my task and mother these children and love this husband negating all other noble tasks. The “Israelites” will have to wait to be rescued until my time in the desert has gone its necessary course.
Following Jesus’ Example
Jesus came to shepherd the lost sheep of Israel (Matthew 10:5-6; 15:24). He knew His mission and He didn’t let anything distract Him from it. He knew the time would come when God would send missionaries to the ends of the earth with the good news of salvation for all people. But during His earthly ministry, His goal was very specific and did not include going outside the borders of his country, though He helped Gentiles and Samaritans who crossed His path. However, notice how much time He spent on these “detours”: it seems to me that it was very little in comparison to the time He spent tending the sheep of Israel.
And my ministry is also very specific and does not include going outside the borders of my “country,” my home, at least not yet.
Sometimes younger women (below 50) will say they are “called” to this or that ministry. You know what I think? I think they may have made a mistake. Perhaps they misunderstood God’s will: they projected their own feelings and desires onto the plan of God; they read into the Bible what they wanted to see.
When mothers do this, it’s tragic.
They feel that teaching other people’s kids is their calling. Hosting Bible studies is their calling. Setting up social outreach projects is their calling. But their own kids are only a partial calling. They allow those other things to intrude upon, push out, distract from, and interfere with their main duty: taking care of their sheep.
Please know, I’m not saying all those activities are bad. The problem is that many mothers want to do all of them NOW. But what if God wants them to wait forty years? Could they do it? Perhaps more to the point: Would they do it?
We so badly need mothers to give their undivided attention to their children! Yes, it’s hard; you bet — it’s dirty, gritty, sweaty, bloody hard. But, if it’s what God wants, are we really going to whine about it? Are we going to say to God, “I can’t do the job you’ve given me, so I need my outside-the-home career to keep me from going crazy?” Why don’t we just learn to do the job He’s given us, hard as it is?
Yes, there need to be times of rest. So true! We need to rest and rejuvenate our souls.
Yes, there is a place for hospitality and family outreach. I agree!
But, while we’re working on those things, let’s just not forget — ever — that these years in the desert caring for our children are extremely valuable. We don’t want to miss out on what God’s preparing us for, or what He’s preparing our children for, because we were impatient and didn’t think we should have to wait 40 years as a Shepherdess before being called to “save the world.”
“And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ.” Philippians 1:9-11
- In what ways do you struggle to accept your role as “shepherdess”?
- What have you personally done to counteract outside demands on your time? In other words, what sort of healthy boundaries have you set up?
As always, I can’t wait to see your responses!
~Jessica
Thank you as always, for a good post. It is so crucial for us to follow the God’s leading when it comes to His will. We cannot do everything all at once. We just need to do whatever God calls us to do in that moment. The most important thing for a mother to do is raise her family and be a helpmeet to her husband. Maybe that means ministry as we think of it (depending on what her husband does); maybe it doesn’t. Either way, as a mother, she is training the next generation of spiritual warriors for God’s kingdom. What a blessed calling!
I am not yet a wife or mother, but I have definitely been experiencing some of this “wilderness”, so to speak. Life has been really crazy (though the goodness of God never fails), and I am needed to run the household right now. I do most of the cleaning and some of the cooking. My family needs me to be available for them. I had to give up serving in church, which I did regularly. I have little time for socializing. It is just as well that I am not in a courtship right now because I simply would not have the time. Besides school, most of my life centers in the home. Now, I love my home dearly. It is not and has never been a prison to me. I love serving my family. But, a couple of nights ago, after watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” (a family favorite at Christmas time), I was thinking and wondering if my life really was making a difference, like George Bailey’s. It doesn’t feel like it. I don’t have children to raise yet. I am not doing anything “big” for the kingdom of God right now. I was wondering if I was really impacting anyone’s life. So, this topic of what is my calling right now has really been on my mind a lot lately. This was a timely article, for me. Thanks for the encouragement.
Hi, Elisa!
How good to know that my article was timely! I believe we all go through those times when we wonder if what we’re doing is worth it. Yes, I understand that feeling! I probably feel that way more often than I should. I’m glad to see that despite those feelings, you have such a mature, faithful attitude toward your responsibilites. I’m inspired to see your positive perspective in the midst of trying circumstances. What a help it has been to me to read your comment!
~Jessica
Jessica, thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.
You’re welcome, Elisa!
~Jessica
What you point out in this article is very important and serious .
I think that we christian married women (especially young mothers)often can drop in two traps.One is indifference to others in need.An attitude like ‘if all my family members are fine and happy,it is all right.’ This happens most unconsiously,but is not so rare.I know that this attitude often makes other people feel lonely even in their church.
Other one is what you point out.Regarding our kids as partial calling,giving first priority to social outreach project.When we see other people in need,we often see how they are suffering and need help at the same time.In such time we often take our ‘blessed”loved”protected’kids as second priority uncounciously.
I had experienced both traps.Yes,as you say we can not do all the thing right now and God does not ask us that way.
I think that your days taking care of children already bear fruits.Not only for your kids and family, but for other christian ladies.Yes,by sharing.Even our present days seems to be in the desert ,they are never in vain and will never be wasted.I think that kids being totally loved and cared by sincere christian mother are so happy even they do not notice the fact yet.
When I passed hardest days with my handicapped son when he was small,I never imagined to write and exchange message in English with Christian ladies in other countries.I guess that God give us opportunities to do new things if He allows in time.
God bless you Jessica and have a happy new year!
Thank you, Sanae! I hope you have a Happy New Year, too!
What you mentioned about the “two traps,” is so true, I think: either being indifferent, or overextending ourselves. I write mostly about the second trap because frankly, I usually feel so overwhelmed that I can’t imagine doing much else right now except care for my own family. However, if there were some small thing I could do for someone else to help them, and I had the time, I would try to do it. It seems to me that if the older women whose children are grown would be full-time homemakers instead of having an outside career, they would have more time than the younger women to care for others’ needs, including teaching by example the younger women how to be keepers at home, as the Bible says to do. The lack of these older, full-time homekeepers in our society makes me very sad.
I was touched to hear about your experience “in the desert” with your handicapped son while he was young. I’m so glad that God allowed you the opportunity after awhile to exchange messages with other Christian ladies. I feel that I benefit so much from the helpful insights that you share!
~Jessica
Lovely article, Jessica. I agree completely!
I also like your response to a comment, above:
“It seems to me that if the older women whose children are grown would be full-time homemakers instead of having an outside career, they would have more time than the younger women to care for others’ needs, including teaching by example the younger women how to be keepers at home, as the Bible says to do. The lack of these older, full-time homekeepers in our society makes me very sad.”
Yes, one hundred times. Even in the conservative Christian community, I see homemakers diving back into the workforce as soon as their children graduate – and thus negating their God-given ability to minister to young mothers and to the congregation as a whole. It’s incredibly sad – and I don’t think today’s young mothers would be as apt to follow bad examples and advice if they had godly older women available to them as mentors.
Lovely article, again! Thank you!! 🙂
You’re welcome, Diana! I’m glad you enjoyed the article, and I’m uplifted to know that you agree with my thoughts!
~Jessica