A Sincere and Humble Appeal to our Pastors and Leaders Regarding Headcovering

Dear Pastors, Leaders, and Teachers in our Christian churches:

My name is Jessica, and I am a simple believer in Jesus Christ as the only Way to be saved from hell and sin. This letter is a sincere and humble appeal from myself, but it probably also reflects the feelings of numerous other believing women. Because of that, I will use the plural (“we”) as I write this. Please hear our hearts.

We are the headcovering women in your churches. We are the one or two lonely women who show up Sunday after Sunday in a head scarf, hat, veil, or wide headband. Please understand that we don’t do this to draw attention to ourselves; to the contrary, when we first started wearing a headcovering, we felt very self-conscious and weird!

It was a little embarrassing and a whole lot uncomfortable to show up in a headcovering when nobody else was wearing one! We imagined that people must be staring at us and inwardly criticizing us, perhaps thinking we were legalistic or that we felt we were better than they were. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Most of us did not grow up being taught to wear a headcovering to church. Most of us came to this conclusion from our own, personal reading of Scripture. As we would read 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 (the passage that talks about headcovering), we always felt uneasy about it. It definitely seemed to be saying that women should wear a fabric headcovering of some sort when “praying or prophesying,” yet everything we had previously heard about it didn’t seem to fit with the most literal, straightforward reading of the passage.

Springboarding from this straightforward reading of 1 Cor. 11:2-16, we branched out into a study of the history of Christian headcovering, the cultural background of 1st-century Corinthian culture, and Greek word meanings. The arguments for headcovering seemed stronger to us than the arguments against it.

We didn’t think that our leaders were intentionally misleading us; that didn’t seem to fit with what we knew about their character. However, perhaps they were making a mistake to depend so much on the cultural explanation so popular in our day? We knew for sure we weren’t better or smarter than they were! But, we’re all humans, aren’t we? And none of us are perfect, so it was possible that even our respected leaders could make a mistake.

None of this was approached lightly. We weren’t trying to be rebellious. We weren’t trying to be exotic. We weren’t trying to draw attention. We didn’t want to cause division. But, what could we do about our growing inner conviction, based on thoughtful study, that headcovering really was for today?

Finally, we got to the point where we had to resolve that inner conflict and choose God’s Word and the most clear interpretation of it over other people’s opinions and their sometimes complicated explanations.

Though on the outside, we usually present ourselves with a confident smile, on the inside, we sometimes feel anything but confident! This has been a tough journey for us. It has been a time of much personal growth. We oftentimes literally wept tears and fell on our knees in repentance over the hardness of our hearts before we accepted God’s teaching about headcovering. His word showed us how we had been in error and in rebellion against His ways, which included not merely the symbol of the fabric covering, but what that symbol was meant to represent: our submission to the leadership of our husbands over us as the “head” in the relationship (and respect for male leadership in general).

We came to see that the fabric covering was a helpful reminder, a tool that God had provided for us and all believing women to cover our own heads in submission to that authority. Our husbands were supportive of our decision to cover. In some cases, it was they who recommended that we do so, who came to the conclusion that we should cover even before we did! Headcovering, instead of being a wedge in our marriage, has actually been a unitive factor. How grateful we are for this beautiful symbol! We worry that other people who don’t know about our headcovering journey might misunderstand our motives. How we wish they could see our hearts!

When we discovered the simplicity of this truth, it was very freeing! We did not feel, nor do we now feel, in bondage to rules or a legalistic system. Instead, we feel that we have finally been liberated in this particular area by the truth of God’s word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit to live out our obedience to a passage that we believe was in fact saying all along what we had always secretly thought it was saying! This has freed our conscience to obey our Lord wholeheartedly.

Yes, we are excited about headcovering! And we would love to see our pastors and teachers research this passage honestly and with a soft heart and open mind. We would love for them to kindly and patiently sit down with us to discuss why we cover. We would love to be listened to and understood.

Please don’t be afraid to reach out to us with your questions and concerns. Preferably, this would happen before somebody in church preaches against headcovering. And please understand that it’s hard to be the only one who covers. We deeply hope for your eventual support; but, in the meantime, we desire at least your compassionate sensitivity to our beliefs and feelings.

If we may be so bold as to make a humble suggestion, it would be this: Please don’t let fear of what people may think of you keep you from following God’s Word. The truth sometimes divides, it is sadly true; but, it also frees. If you were to come to the conclusion, as we have, that headcovering is for today, and if you were to boldly teach this, perhaps the rewards would greatly outweigh the risks. Many people would probably benefit from a clearer understanding of this currently-neglected teaching. Yes, some would resist, but others would be thrilled.

And among those who would be thrilled, would be us. We are praying for you, both for your ministry in general, and for your understanding of the headcovering passage in particular. May our Lord guide all of us in His wisdom and truth.

Sincerely,

Jessica Roldan

9 March, 2018

23 thoughts on “A Sincere and Humble Appeal to our Pastors and Leaders Regarding Headcovering

  1. QUERIDA HERMANA JESSICA: LA BIBLIA NOS ADVIERTE QUE VENDRAN FALSOS PROFETAS, FALSOS HERMANOS,FALSOS PREDICADORES, ESTOS ARRASTRAN A LOS FIELES A SEGUIR DOCTRINAS DE HOMBRES, SON ENGAÑADORES, AMANTES DE SI MISMOS. DIOS NOS DA LA INTELIGENCIA PARA SABER DISCERNIR ENTRE LO BUENO Y LO MALO, ERES INTELIGENTE PARA ENTENDER LO QUE DIOS QUIERE DE TI, ERES INTELIGENTE PARA ENTENDER QUE HAY CIERTOS PASTORES QUE PREDICAN FABULAS, PALABRAS FACTUAS, HACEN PERDER A LOS FIELES. SI NO ESTAS CONFORME A LO QUE SE PREDICA EN LAS IGLESIA DONDE TU TE CONGREGAS, SI SIENTES QUE EL ESPIRITU SANTO TE HACE SENTIR INCOMODA POR ALGO QUE TU SIENTES QUE NO ES REAL, ES HORA DE QUE VAYAS BUSCANDO OTRA IGLESIA, DONDE LA PALABRA DE DIOS, SEA LA VERDADERA, FIEL Y PURA. DIOS TE BENDIGA RICAMENTE.

    1. Ana,
      Gracias por su comentario!

      Estoy de acuerdo que si, hay falsos profetas predicando mentiras en algunas iglesias. Usted tiene mucha razon, tenemos que tener mucho cuidado con eso. Mi esposo y yo tratamos de discernir entre los verdaderos pastores de Dios y los falsos. Ahorita estamos tranquilos en la iglesia donde vamos. Pensamos que si, ensenan la verdad — lo que se trata del evangelio basico de la salvacion por medio de Jesucristo por la fe. Sin embargo, no reconocen la tradicion biblica de usar el velo / cobertura. Pensamos que eso tiene mas que ver con una tendendcia de seguir la teologia popular y no tanto con un deseo de enganar. Pensamos que realmente quieren hacer lo correcto, pero necesitan la guianza del Espiritu de Dios para despertar a algunas verdades que hasta ahorita han estado negligiendo.

      Agradeczo mucho su preocupacion. 🙂
      Jessica

  2. Thank you Jessica for this beautiful letter. You said what I’ve always wanted to say but have been afraid. It’s very embarrassing and humiliating to listen to a sermon on head covering and have the pastor say covering our heads is not for today. I’ve had that happen twice at our former church in Santa Barbara. I felt like there was a flashing arrow pointing over my head saying “Look at the legalistic bimbo!”
    It’s such a lonely existence. The only time I ever comfortable is when we visit our Mennonite friends at their fellowship. Anyway, my friend thank you again. I’m sure there are many ladies reading this who can relate.

    1. Regina,
      I am so sorry you had to go through the same thing twice! How painful and embarrassing! So far, that hasn’t happened to me. They pretty much avoid the topic at our church. But, I have seen other pastors mention it in their materials at times, and it’s hard for me to see them follow the popular (and incorrect) take on this issue.

      I don’t think I would ever confront our pastors about this issue; this letter is my way of saying–to a general audience– what I would love to be able to say, if I could.

      I’m glad we can support and encourage each other!
      Jessica

  3. Oh Jessica! This article brought me to tears. Praise God for the preparation He equipped you with to say what so many that cover are desperately crying out from their hearts. I have had a hard time not feeling some kind of separation from my brothers and sisters in Christ because of issues like this, and what you said about “Who is it that divides?” Helped me to understand it so planely! Praise God! I had felt alone, like I was a diviser and accuser, instead of just a humble lover of Christ, who like you, just wants to please Him in absolutely every way I can! God bless you!!!

    1. Thank you for your very supportive comment, Sheridan!

      That was my hope and intention (in great part): to show other sisters that they are not alone in how they feel, to maybe give them words to be able to express those feelings–if not to their pastors, at least to their husbands and close friends/family, perhaps.

      I sometimes struggle with wondering, “Am I a divisive person?” because I dare to stand in contrast to everybody else. But, I don’t think I am. I try my best to live peacefully with everybody, and I don’t intentionally get into conflicts but try to avoid them. Not to say that I’m perfect. But I just don’t think I’m “divisive.” My husband and I have simply chosen a different path.

      It is so helpful to hear from other ladies who know how I’m feeling! Thank you!
      Jessica

    1. Thank you so much, Diana!

      I certainly hope it reaches somebody who might need to hear it–though I don’t know who. God knows. May He use this little piece for good in somebody’s life. 🙂

      Jessica

  4. Even if no other seems to notice,headcovering christian ladies are blessing to their church,I think.And if God led us to our present church,He has reasons why He sent us there.We may be only one or two in our church,but not very few in the world.I am so blessed to know many sincere headcovering ladies seeking biblical truth-off course so blessed to have known you!

    May this sincere letter be read by many people.This letter also encourages many headcovering ladies,I feel.

    1. Yes, Sanae, I agree! What a beautiful comment!

      When we are the only one, or maybe two headcovering women in our church, it is easy to feel that what we are doing isn’t having any effect, that it doesn’t matter. But, you’re right, God has a purpose for putting us where we are, and our obedience to Him does indeed matter. I also think that you’re right that there are more than a few of us stretched out across the world! When I feel lonely, I think of all of my headcovering (online) friends, and I remember how Elijah thought he was the only one who hadn’t bowed the knee to Baal, but God told him there were actually thousands who hadn’t! He thought he was alone, but he wasn’t: there were other true followers, but they were spread out.

      I don’t think the headcovering issue is as extreme as the issue of whether or not to worship false gods; but, that story does give me hope that I am NOT alone, no matter how lonely I might sometimes feel.

      I am blessed to have known you, too!
      Jessica

  5. Jessica as you know I am a Catholic and absolutely committed to the traditional and Godly practice of head-covering for both Church and private prayer.

    I am very pleased to say that the practice of covering at least for Mass is very much on the increase but like you I would appeal to all Priests, Catholic or not to support women who cover and encourage all women to examine their hearts on the matter. I would also ask husbands and fathers to do the same.

    1. Susanne,
      I’m glad to hear that the practice of headcovering is on the rise within the Catholic tradition. I actually think that it is on the rise in general, based on the testimonies I’ve read on the Head Covering Movement site, which is a great encouragement to me.

      Thanks for your constant encouragement and support! 🙂
      Jessica

  6. Wow. Is it the truth that divides? How many times have I been accused of being divisive on account of advocating for the truth! My husband is in the military and we move every 18 months, so we see a lot of churches. Avoiding truth for the cause of unity is epidemic and renders ineffectiveness in so many areas. God is faithful to bring to fruition that which He has begun in us. You articulated in this article which has been on my heart for years.

  7. “Aki ismeri az én parancsolataimat és megtartja azokat, az szeret engem; aki pedig engem szeret, azt szereti az én Atyám, én is szeretem azt, és kijelentem magamat annak.” (János 14:21). Csodálatos ahogy Isten munkálkodik azok életében akik keresik őszinte szívvel az Ő akaratát! Öröm látni, ahogy oda adja az övéinek az Ő kijelentéseit, és annak megtartását szinte egy csomagban! Megfigyelésem az, hogy aki megérti, és elfogadja a fejfedés kérdését, az elfogadja a bemerítkezés fontosságát , a szerény, erkölcsös öltözetet, valamint a gyermekáldás elfogadását és annak megtartását is! Dicsőség legyen mindezért Istenünknek! Kívánom, hogy adjon Isten erőt, és hűséget mindnyájunknak az Ő akaratának betöltéséhez!
    “…ha beveszed az én beszédimet, és az én parancsolatimat elrejted magadnál, Ha figyelmeztetvén a bölcsességre a te füleidet, hajtod a te elmédet az értelemre, Igen, ha a bölcseségért kiáltasz, és az értelemért a te szódat felemeled, Ha keresed azt, mint az ezüstöt, és mint a kincseket kutatod azt: Akkor megérted az Úrnak félelmét, és az Istennek ismeretére jutsz. Mert az Úr ád bölcseséget, az ő szájából tudomány és értelem származik. Az igazaknak valóságos jót rejteget, paizst a tökéletesen járóknak, Hogy megőrizze az igazságnak útait, és kegyeseinek útját megtartja. Akkor megérted az igazságot, és törvényt és becsületességet, és minden jó útat. Mert bölcseség megy a te elmédbe, és a tudomány a te lelkedben gyönyörűséges lesz. Meggondolás őrködik feletted, értelem őriz téged, (Példabeszédek 2:1-11).

    1. Thank you, Tibor. Obeying and loving God are certainly linked, I agree. Yes, when we begin to obey God in one area (such as headcovering), He begins to transform other areas, as well.
      ~Jessica

      1. Örülök, hogy Isten fényt gyújt a világ minden táján, hogy az Ő igazsága mindig elérhető, és megismerhető legyen engedelmes gyermekei bizonyságán keresztül is! Isten áldjon meg titeket, és gyermekeiteket már itt a földön is, és majd a mennyben is! Tegye üdvözülté Krisztus országában egész “nemzetségeteket” mely engedelmességetek folytán belőletek származik!
        Szeretettel Tibor!
        Ui: Talán nem haragszol, ha írásaidból, több hasznos gondolatot felhasználok mások épülésére is?
        Köszönöm!

        1. Thank you, Tibor. Though I do become discouraged, sometimes, with the darkness that is in the world, it does my heart good to see that there are others who are growing in the truth and living in the light. So, your comment has been an encouragement to me in that it reminds me that God is indeed shining a light all over the world through the testimony of His children!

          Yes, you may use any ideas from my blog that you find useful. I only ask that if you quote something from my blog, you provide a link.

          ~Jessica

  8. Olá Jéssica!

    Sou Pr. da Igreja Batista Fundamentalista Independente de Belo Horizonte/Minas Gerais – Brasil, e fico muito feliz em ver mulheres, esposas e mães como a sra. Seguirem a palavra de Deus em sua literalidade, e entendendo o papel fundamental da ordem da criação desde Gênesis antecedendo o pecado. E cumprimento da submissão em resposta ao amor do Senhor por meio de seus esposos, e dos homens diante a mulheres e moças comprometidas com a verdade, toda ela! Ressaltando Tito 2 não apenas teoricamente mas na prática diária. Sei o quanto a luta é grande porém a palavra nos deixa claros de que maior é aquele que está em nós do que o que está no mundo, por isso, venho como Pr. agradece-las pela sabedoria e pela fé que há em vocês que continuem firmes no uso do véu (cobertura), e quanto mais estiver incomodando bom sinal é, pois somos luz e sal deste mundo, e iremos incomodar até mesmo no cerne da igreja, mas temos que estarmos sempre preparados para darmos razão de nossa fé. Aqui, o uso do véu é obrigatório na nave (sala de culto), decidi agir assim pois como a sra. compreendo que o uso do véu (cobertura) é acima de tudo um sinal de reverência a Deus, vimos de imediato uma mudança profunda das moças, sras. e até mesmo dos homens diante da conduta e postura das mulheres em seus modos de vestir e portar. Elas relatam que isso trouxe a elas uma profunda preocupação quanto a vestimenta não apenas para ir ao culto, mas no dia a dia. Muitas afirmam que levaram-nas até a mudança do linguajar e do relacionar com os homens. É uma mudança que surte de dentro para fora, e é imediata a transformação. O respeito que vem de uma conduta honesta mediante ao pudor reflete o impoluto diante da sociedade corrompida e defasada pela moda. Os resultados aqui foram magníficos, e têm nos trazido testemunhos genuínos de transformação principalmente interior e como consequência exterior. Como Pr. peço que continuem firmes e ignorem as críticas e zombarias, pois nosso Senhor não se importou com os mesmos que assim se dirigiram a pessoa dEle. Importa-nos sempre, obedecer a Deus e como o apóstolo Paulo disse: Não temos a intenção de agradar à homens. Que o Senhor continue abençoando e fortalecendo a fé de todas que buscam com sinceridade a verdade do uso do véu (cobertura), fazendo com isso um modo de vida habitual convictas e esperançosas de serem mulheres e moças tementes a Deus e fieis a sua palavra. Um beijo no coração de todas vocês, e saibam que há Pr. como eu que aplicam literalmente 1 Coríntios 11:2-16 em sua igreja, e ressalto que o resultado é de dentro para fora…

    1. Thanks to translation – I was able to read this ! Truly wonderful to read of the positive change which comes from the strongest of Church support for head covering. No Church of whatever denomination, should be afraid to call upon women to obey Biblical teaching on modesty, humility and headcovering.

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