I may not be talented. I haven’t had much time to work on developing my skills.
I may not be beautiful. I can tell I’m not gorgeous, and neither do I have time for pampering myself.
I sometimes don’t feel important. I do the same mundane tasks day after day, over and over again. It doesn’t seem to lead anywhere.
But to God, “talented and beautiful” doesn’t matter. Worldly importance doesn’t matter. He sees the heart. He sees the faith, the love, the surrender. These things are precious to Him.
A selfless woman is important. A woman who has learned to deny her selfish desires and focus on others is of such great value! There are plenty of selfish women — it’s so easy to be self-centered; it comes by default. But to learn how to set self aside and look into the needs of another — that’s priceless! It’s what our starving hearts need.
A serene woman is beautiful. She can have gray hair, fine lines, and an aging body. But if her heart is set on trusting God — if the storms of life drive her to the Savior, and her peace is found in the deep waters of the Holy Spirit’s fellowship … If she quiets her soul to sense the presence of the spiritual in her trials, as she leans upon the strength of the Shepherd to guide her … That woman is rare. She’s so rare you can’t barely touch her without realizing you’ve brushed against something holy and out of this world, though obviously very much in this world at the same time. This otherworldness comes from her closeness to heaven’s beautiful light, which permeates her every thought, word, and action.
A godly woman is talented. True talent is learning to be humble, to make a sincere and effective apology, to notice a hurting heart and bring healing to it, to take what little you’ve been given and make it work, to read your husband’s and children’s feelings so you can respond in just the right way, to connect God’s truth to everyday life, to soothe agitations and calm storms, to inspire and encourage noble passions. True talent is also knowing when to speak and when to refrain, when to reproach and when to listen, when to be angry and when to be calm — to recognize that you’ve got so much more to learn and be willing to learn even from your children, to be able to hear them tell you that you’ve hurt them and to apply healing balm through confession of sin. The talents of a godly woman involve the development of her character more than anything else.
A virtuous woman is hard to find. Many Christian women think they’re virtuous. I bet nearly all Christian women believe they’re the accurate, biblical version of the Proverbs 31 woman and their husband is lucky to have them. But a virtuous woman is hard to find. She’s rare. We need to step back and ask ourselves: Can I honestly say that I’m living out all the commands of God when it comes to the Christian life? What do I lack? What areas need working on? And if you’re not sure, ask your husband and be willing to listen to his answer. Not just once, but consistently over time, ask him and listen to him. If he notices that you’re going to be quiet and listen, and that you’ll actually do something about the issues he bring up, then he’ll probably be confident in sharing his thoughts. But if you brush him off, then he’ll probably just shut up because he doesn’t think it’s worth it to tell you your faults.
A virtuous woman is harder to find than a beautiful woman.
She’s harder to find than a talented woman.
But her importance won’t be hard to spot — not by those who are near her. They will know that they need her. If your family doesn’t think they need you, then maybe it’s because you’re still being too self-seeking. Maybe you’ve damaged their hearts — and they think, why do I need this? It’s when you give your love unselfishly, over and over, day after day, as the years pass relentlessly by, that you will become immensely important to the recipients of your love.
Are you actively seeking to be beloved by them? To be the one who comforts them, honors them, encourages them, confronts them when needed (but gently), prays for them, and smiles at them? Or are you already convinced that you’re beloved by default just because you’re their wife and their mother?
Don’t assume you are that woman — actively seek to be her!
By the world’s standards, neither you nor I may be considered exceptionally talented, beautiful, or important. Let’s forget about the world’s standards! Instead, let’s seek to live according to a better standard: God’s standard. Even in the mundane, small tasks of everyday homemaking, we can be godly, serene, and selfless — and through this virtuous way of living, accomplish much for God.
~Jessica
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Beautiful! I love that you let the Lord use you to encourage others through your writings! I can sincerely say that you are such a godly example and encouragement to me.
I recently gave birth to our 8 child, and while I know that I am exactly where I need to be, the temptation does come to give in to discouraging thoughts and feelings. Especially when I sense the disapproval of the world, and even the church, when it comes to the size of our family. But the Lord gently shows me that each child is precious and fearfully and wonderfully made, and He has a wonderful plan for each and every one!
I love your blog and can’t say how many times it has uplifted and encouraged me during my journey as a wife and mother.
By God’s grace I want to be a true virtuous woman, and shine bright for Jesus! Thank you so much for your thought provoking post.
Hi, Joy!
Congratulations on the recent birth of your eighth child! What a blessing from the Lord!
Yes, as you probably know from my writings, I, too, am sometimes tempted to give in to discouraging thoughts and feelings. It only takes an instant to become a believer, but it takes a lifetime to learn how to think and act like a Christian. But the Lord’s mercies are new every morning!
Not long ago, when we started to go to a new church, a lady asked how many children we have. She said she had heard from someone else that we had a lot, and as I was about to answer her, she continued speaking, saying she “hoped not.” I smiled and said that we had ten. She exclaimed over how many that was. “Yes, it’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it, since our children are a blessing,” I said. Then she went away. Even in church, sometimes people don’t understand. I feel sad for them. They missed this beautiful truth (children are a blessing) and opportunity because they allowed themselves to go along with the world. But we are beacons of light in the darkness and confusion, as we joyfully receive children from the Lord.
How grateful I am to hear that my blog has uplifted and encouraged you during your journey as a wife and mother. That is what I aim to do, and it’s good to know that God is using this blog to help others! Thank you so much for sharing that with me; it truly means a lot.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
~Jessica
That is such an amazing photo of you and your little one Rowan! I love Rowan’s eyes looking up and your smile! Thank you for such a great post. I’m in my late 60’s and have been on hospice for five months. My husband and I were told by our hospice team that it is “time to make final preparations” such as choosing a plot, planning to be cremated, etc. My days and minutes are precious to me and both my husband and I have felt God’s loving hand and watchful eye over us during this journey. I would not have traded it for anything, as it has revealed The Father’s great love and compassion towards us. We have two grown children. Both do not even care if I am on hospice and although one lives right in town, has never asked us if we need anything. We have not had any “outs” or such, and so it is hard for my heart to accept that they just do not care. It makes me sad, as I think this is just the state of the world now. Compassion has been removed from many a heart. I pray for my children every day, and have to let the rest go to God. It is too big for me. I have always been a simple, stay at home mother and wife, schooled my children in the Lord, etc. and it is now that I reap the rewards of having a godly, quiet home to remain in. I am not expecting anything, but still am asking God to change me “from glory to glory” even now, every day. It is never too late to get nearer to Him. I can hold precious memories of me being with my children and it comforts me. Even if their lives are too busy to care for me now when I need them near. I just don’t know how anyone could “be okay” with things the way they are for me, without The Lord. He makes ALL the difference! And that is for any situation we go through.
Dear Cynthia,
This is very shocking news! This is undoubtedly an extremely difficult time for you and your husband; I’m glad to hear that you and your husband have felt God’s loving hand and watchful eye during this journey. The fact that you are still seeking to grow as you are changed by God from glory to glory is beautifully amazing to me.
I reread all your comments to me on this blog. Some I had forgotten; others were still very familiar to me, as they had made an impactful impression on me when I read them the first time. But I must say that going over them all again made me see what a treasure you have been as an online friend. And as I was rereading them, I felt I learned even more from you. You have been a wise and encouraging presence here!
I sincerely hope and pray that this hospice stay will end up being only temporary and that your health would recover enough for you to go home and resume your sweet and simple life as homemaker. I feel deeply for you after reading that your adult children are not there for you as you need them to be. That is heartbreaking. Yet I am encouraged by your trust in the Lord. May He work in them first of all to believe in Him with a saving belief; and second of all, may He open their eyes to see how precious you are to them.
I wanted to write sooner, but since we are on a family trip, I wasn’t able to right away. I hope you didn’t think that I didn’t care. You are very, very much appreciated!
In Christian love,
Jessica
This was a lovely and encouraging post, Jessica! Thank you! 🙂
Thanks, Diana! It’s so good to hear that you think so!
~Jessica
I don’t think I’m extraordinarily. I do think I’m doing something important though: raising the next generation of Godly people.
Hey Jessica! I’m late commenting on your post. Its sad that people are so.shocked by large families in the church. It should be the norm to see large families in churches. I would have loved to have had a large family but God saw it fit to bless us with three and I’m content with that. And by the way, I think you are beautiful both inside and outside.