This is the beginning of a new era for The Heavenly Hearth blog. You may have noticed that I haven’t posted anything since mid-September. There are at least three reasons for that, and those reasons have everything to do with the slightly different direction this blog is going to take, starting now.
Reason no. 1, and probably the easiest to explain:
We are expecting our tenth child, and I find myself in the midst of all the discomforts and limitations of the typical first-trimester pregnancy challenges. Blogging, for me, has never been as regular as I had wanted it to be. There are seasons when I am able to post regularly, and then there are seasons when it is just not possible. Obviously, these seasons are cyclical and predictable. Nearly as soon as I start to feel a little better during a pregnancy, it will be time for the baby to be born, and then all regularity will be lost again for a time.
Reason no. 2, which follows logically from the first:
I am a very busy mother. Social media can be useful, but my priority is my own family, and my family has a lot of needs. I have always seen this blog as both an outlet for personal expression and as a way to encourage other women who share similar beliefs (and perhaps challenge them a bit if they don’t). However, I am finding my need for personal expression is becoming less important to me the more energy I have to put into guiding, training, and appreciating my growing children.
Yet, I still want to encourage other women, if I can, and invest in this small but growing community of like-minded women.
And here is the moment of truth you’ve all been waiting for . . .
Reason no. 3, the biggest reason of all, but maybe not the most obvious:
This past year has been extremely difficult and painful for me in many ways and for various reasons. It has caused me to doubt whether I can truly share anything valuable with others. I’ve talked about this before, I know. I said that even if we feel unqualified, it is our very struggles that can actually qualify us the most. Experience is a great asset. But you know what? I haven’t felt that way recently.
My experience lately has been that certain people I had always hoped to have a good relationship with apparently think I’m full of crap, and I’ve given up hope (mostly) of ever being able to have a good relationship with them, despite years of what I felt were my best efforts. They will perhaps not ever deeply value or appreciate me, and I wasn’t even expecting them to agree with my opinions — just hopefully respect them. But no.
And this has led to a kind of chronic discouragement.
Still, I’m deciding to continue on in the face of that lack of support. I will continue following my convictions, even if certain people label these things “foibles.” I will continue to do what I believe is right, even if they label me a “bitter person” for standing up against what I see as wrong. Oh, yes; those labels hurt. I have thought long and hard: Are these things (and others I haven’t even mentioned) true about me? There is a possibility that to a certain degree, yes, I have a few foibles and I can be bitter at times. However, I do not believe that these things are characteristic of me in a general sense. It hurts to be misunderstood and unfairly accused by those I had thought loved me — those I had expected would love me most of all. Oh, well.
I will continue this blog, even if they happen to read it (though that seems highly unlikely) and don’t like what I say — not that I do it for myself, but for you, and for God. The first arena I believe He wants me to use whatever “gifts” I have is within the realm of my own, nuclear family. But if there is a way to us those “gifts” to minister to a few others beyond the reach of my family, I feel that He would have me do so, as long as my primary duty to my family is never compromised.
However (get ready for it), I will have to make some changes.
I will seek to be as humble as I can. How can I be more humble than I thought I already was? I don’t know, but my recent disouragement naturally must lead to a re-examination of the way I write.
Mostly, I will only be able to blog in thirty-minute intervals. Articles will just be a few thoughts typed into a short post. If some people happen to read these and get something out of them, great. I know I’ll never be a super blogger, and that’s perfectly alright with me.
Did you know that I work with the Head Covering Movement as Co-Director? I will still be writing occasional articles for the HCM site, among other responsibilites (which I greatly enjoy), so if you would like to see more from me on headcovering than I might be posting here, you can do so by going to that site: https://www.headcoveringmovement.com/
I will also occasionally post videos (probably minimally edited) to my YouTube channel, when the inspiration strikes: https://www.youtube.com/@TRUTHATHOME
If you have anything to share about overcoming painful relationship problems (especially with relatives) that could be helpful. Anything else on your mind? I love to hear your thoughts!
Until my next short post,
~Jessica
Hello Jessica! A heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS on baby #10! When are you due? I’m in the homestretch of pregnancy #4. I completely understand being tired & overwhelmed. We are here for our fellow Sister in Christ.
Being “at odds” with a relative is truly difficult! I have finally reconciled myself to the painful truth that I am the only person who can change, and I certainly can’t change anyone else. I have reached out numerous times to try to establish more connection with my relative, only to have each effort rebuffed. So, I have decided to devote all my energy to my family. If, in the future, my relative reaches out, then I will pray for God’s guidance. That’s all I can do- trust God to grant me wisdom in the moment.
Aww, that’s such exciting news about your sweet little one on the way! Congratulations! I’m praying for you; that God will strengthen and encourage your heart. I know all to well the deep pain of having relatives turn on you…and betray you. It hurts like no other. Especially when they call themselves “Christians.” Its hard not to become bitter. I think what has helped me a lot is to pray for them…even when you don’t feel like it…and to set boundaries. If you no longer sense the need to attempt trying to fix that hurtful relationship, forgive them, but move on. Sometimes God only has people in our life for a season. Not saying He can’t heal that relationship in the future, (God can do anything!) But I’ve found, (for my personal growth and wellbeing,) silence and separation from a toxic relationship/friendship is very healthy for a time…as long as you need. 1 Peter 2:23 Especially being pregnant, you need to prioritize first your baby, and your health. There will always be naysayers, and discouraging people. But on the other hand there are many who admire, respect and look up to you…and I am one of them. I have followed your blog for over 8 years, and it has been a huge blessing in my life! When I get a notification email that you posted on your blog, I eagerly set aside everything else and read your post first. (smile) You are a Titus 2 woman in my life, and I thank God for you! Btw, we are expecting baby number 7…and the Lord used your writings to make big impact on us being open to His wonderful plan of how many children He wants for our family. We are so blessed! Love you dear sister and be strong in the Lord…and please keep posting! <3
Very well said, sister. Amen to that.
Rejection is God’s way of protecting us. Matthew 10.35 helps me in these moments as well. Estrangement is never easy and the end of relationships is painful. It helps me to grieve the time I had and the dreams of how I thought it would be. However I have found that each time I see that person I need to grieve a little more. It is like a living death and a funeral I have to keep attending. Be aware of that and allow your heart space for that. There is a time for everything which means some relationships end. Praying for our enemies is important because in that I have learned to give them to God to deal with so I can do the work God has made me for. Being a follower of Christ does not mean we all get along with everyone. It is a good sign when we do not, as it means we are standing firm in our faith. Connecting with the savior and recalling his rejection on the cross and betrayal by those in his inner circle help in these moments. However I know I can word things in such a way that make it seem like it is all together for me, but I am sitting here reading your blog rather posting new photos and content on my website for fear of which enemies will see them! Ah the flesh! I once heard someone say: “As a Christian I can expect rejection. It’s a good sign.” Prayers for safe and peaceful pregnancy and delivery.
Good morning sister♥️
I have followed you for years, and always find your posts to be sweet and real. I just love you and your sweet family! Congratulations on your 10th beautiful child♥️♥️♥️ I’m so sorry for your heart ache… I’m praying for you…I’m grateful to have had you as a “friend “ for years, and always love hearing what you have to say. Bless your beautiful heart… love you.
Hi Jessica! Congratulations on your pregnancy! That is so exciting! 🙂
I am so sorry you are going through this. As you know I share struggles in my family/so called friends and most hurtful of all is the estrangement from my only son because of my beliefs. It is one of the hardest things I have endured.
Stand strong my Sister in Christ! I always viewed you as one of the most real people I know. I admire your love for the Lord and for standing for truth!
I agree family comes first and I look forward to even a short post/video from you.
Take care! ❤️
Congratulations Jessica on your 10th little one coming. That’s so exciting to hear. I haven’t been to faithful with my blog either. I feel like I don’t have anything meaningful to say. That leads me into wanting to send you my covering testimony but when I read testimonies from other ladies mine is rather boring.
But I will pray about it.
When you said about making changes to the blog I held my breath because I was afraid you were going to say you were deconstructing from Christianity. A mom whose blog I followed for some time recently posted she was no longer a Christian and is deconstructing from being a Christian. I was aware there was such a movement. This mom used wear a headcovering, believed in dresses and skirts only and was such an encouragement to me. Its all very sad and it breaks my heart to see Christians walk away.
I’m sorry I haven’t been a good friend to you by contacting you more. I need to do better. I’m not sure I have your contact info but please comment on any post my blog with your cell number which won’t get published.
The weather is too cold now for getting together ( yes I’m a big fat wimp!😆) at the park but I seem to recall you saying you don’t get out much. Lets try to stay in touch.
God is with us in every season,both in good times or bad ones.
We can never be alone even when we feel so.
Please stay safe and take time for yourself.
I am happy to have known you!
New year greeting from Japan
Dear Jessica,
Thank you for being so honest and sincere. You are so sweet.
I sympathize with you, Jessica, knowing that your heart has been deeply wounded by the heartless words of those closest to you. I take my hat off to you for your perseverance and greatness in following the truth of Christ and carrying your 10th child in your womb by faith without the generous support and understanding of your earthly family and relatives. What a courageous spiritual pilgrimage! Your very life is an inspiring message and an inspiration to sisters around the world, including me. May the Lord wipe away your tears and give you deep comfort.
Dear Jessica,
Congratulations to your 10th child! I am sorry to hear that you have to go through hard times. I will pray for you and I encourage you to pray. Praying helps a lot, it has often comforted me under difficult circumstances. God understands our problems better than other people. “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62,8) Do you know the song “My ways are not your ways”? One verse says “My ways, my child, are not your ways, my thoughts are higher than thine. Let me lead you each step of this long weary day, Let me clasp thy trembling hand in mine.” Love, Karin
Hey Jessica! Congratulations on baby number 10! I am so excited for you and your family! What a beautiful way to start the new year! First and foremost I deeply apologize for what you were going through with your relatives. I too can definitely relate to how it feels to have relative who you think cared and love for you to have a different view on you and speak differently about you. Just know that you are doing a wonderful job as a loving mother, Wife and more! When I go through the issues with my relatives ( I am the black sheep sadly) it does break my heart, but I will still pray for them and love them from a distance. I have learned that I need to be sure that I am protecting my peace, protecting my daughter’s peace and not letting anything negative get the best of me regardless who it is or what Get the best of me. The relatives that I have issues with (and still do)I have learned to just not bother with them as much as it hurts me to do that because when we were younger we were all so close, but I have realized That people sadly change and true colors do start to show. So I pray for them and I will love them but I was wanting to be around them I have made the decision to not do so. Not until I’m ready at least. I pray it works out for you. God cover you and keep you and your beautiful safe in the new year. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sorry for the errors, apparently I can’t type lol. I was using my ipad yesterday when I read your new blog lol
Hello Jessica, thank You for this new blog post and congratulations to baby #10! 🙂
Unfortunately, i can totally relate with you in this situation, even i’m pregnant “only” with #4.
It’s difficult… but God’s timing is perfect in everything, He is our safe.
I’m really thankful for your blog, for your thoughts, huge inspiration for me in Christian family life!
Hugs from Hungary, God bless You and your whole family! 🙂
Hi, Jessica! So glad to see a post here!
Firstly, congrats on new baby! Hoping you feel better soon!! (I know how hard it is to be newly pregnant and sick over the holidays.)
Secondly, totally understand on the raising-kids-too-busy-to-write thing. You have done much better than most, but it is SO hard to make writing and mothering work together. Whatever you settle on is fine with us. 🙂
Thirdly. Ah, interpersonal conflict, especially with close friends and relatives. NOT fun.
I am assuming that the conflict is over opinions that you’ve shared on the blog?
If so, I have only one bit of wisdom to offer, and it won’t do the situation any good because it won’t apply. Here it is: I have found that it is better for people who know each other in real life not to read each other’s blogs (or other publications), because it is so easy for real-life friends to take offence in a way that doesn’t happen with online acquaintances.
Example: If I say on my blog, “I can’t stand it when people forget my birthday,” then an online acquaintance thinks, “Oh, she can’t stand it when people forget her birthday. Reasonable. I don’t like that either. Sometimes I forget people’s birthdays. I should work on that.” Right? But an in-person friend/relative thinks, “I forgot her birthday two years ago. I know she’s talking about me. How dare she?” etc. etc. etc. And it can turn ugly quickly, even amongst the most well-intentioned. So, all that to say, I don’t think this applies to your situation, because it sounds like the people involved already read your blog. But I thought I’d mention it just in case it helps in any way. I myself do not tell in-person friends/neighbors about my blog, nor even my family – it just saves heartache.
In any regard, I am so sorry to hear that it has been a year of discouragement regarding this issue. I pray that it improves, whether by reconciliation or distance. Regardless, know that your blog is definitely a blessing to the online community, and we appreciate all of your hard work and your writing over the years.
Looking forward to reading whenever you have time to write! 🙂
Diana
Firstly to say warmest congratulations on your latest blessing.
Secondly to say – keep up the good works when and if you can, many of us really appreciate the insight and support.
Matthew is here!! As we were readying for bed Wednesday night, I started having real contractions. We called my Mom & she arrived about midnight. I labored in bed and about dawn my water broke, so we called Kellie, she was quick to arrive. As the kids roused, I got the final urge to bring my new baby Earthside. We are all happy & healthy.
Congratulations, Courtney! That is wonderful news! I hope you and baby Matthew are getting the rest you need and recovering well from the birth. May your family experience a beautiful time of peace and bonding as you all enjoy each other and your new baby. 💕
~Jessica
BTW, the family marked 2 milestones just before Christmas: Ruth had her 3rd birthday & Brian and I marked 6 years of marriage.
Happy birthday to Ruth, and Happy Anniversary to you guys!
Congratulations!!!!! Great blog post!
Blessings on you and your Family.
Just wishing you wisdom and strenght for every day. You have been a good influence on my journey of faith. Whatever some one else may tell you, know that the time you have put into sharing your thoughts publicly has helped me make up my mind on several things.
Our girls Lea and Mirjam have been born not at least trough you sharing.
Love Ruth
Thank you so much, Ruth, for taking the time to leave such an encouraging comment! I feel very blessed to hear from you that I have been a good influence on your journey of faith. Praise the Lord!
~Jessica