Does Failure Disqualify us from Teaching Others?

The world can be harsh and judgmental. There are eyes everywhere — some of them looking for inspiration, and some of them looking for gossip. I feel sorry for those who are being gossipped about (I could even be one of them).

Recnetly, I’ve been remembering a blogger I used to follow who quit. Why did she quit? I don’t know; nobody does. We can only speculate. Have you ever known somebody who experienced some sort of failure and because of it didn’t feel she could continue in a role of influence? Perhaps it might even have been yourself. What are some possible reasons we give up on that role? I’ve thought of a couple big ones:

1. Someone in our family has a problem, which debilitates us emotionally, requiring drastic changes and leaving no time or energy for outreach.
2. We have a problem with our own ability to deal with the stresses of life — and one day, we crack.

Maybe, we don’t believe we’re emotionally capable of continuing an outreach project while putting our life back together. Or perhaps, we don’t trust ourself to not break down again. Possibly, we’re too embarrassed to admit our problems publicly. It could be that we don’t feel we’re a worthy example to follow: how can we give advice when we’re so messed up ourself?

And you know what? I understand that. I don’t have a perfect life. I know myself! And I’m pretty sure I know human nature: as sinful human beings . . . we stink! You start thinking you’re doing pretty well and then — bam! — reality knocks the glasses right off your face. Oh, no; what you had thought was true about yourself was only your self-concept enlarging itself until you had yourself convinced that you’d actually made it to the top. Then you realize: Wait a minute, I still have a long way to go. I’m not there yet. There’s still a lot of stuff about me that needs working on.

Sometimes, we think of ourself more highly than we ought (Rom. 12:3), we get a big head, we get a little prideful, we become complacent. And that’s just when God allows life (and the devil) to wake us up to the truth. Has this ever happened to you? If it has, like it’s happend to me, we should be able to have a lot of compassion for others who experience something similar. At times like that, we may ask ourselves:

Do my failures disqualify me from being able to help others?

I think that’s a really meaningful question.

A Well-Known Teacher Learns Important Life Lessons

This summer, I went to a homeschool convention in Phoenix, Arizona, which is the state I live in. There was an inspiring schedule of speakers. One of them was Steve Demme, the creator of Math-U-See, the math curriculum my children use. As soon as I saw his name on the schedule, I knew I had to hear him speak.

Mr. Demme and his wife have four grown children, one of them with Downs. He often talks about his family life. Recently, he’s spoken on the subject of how hard it was for him to transition his personal business into a family-owned business. During the time this change was taking place, some difficult truths about himself came to the suface. His relationship with his wife was strained to the point where they were separated for six months. He mentioned this at the convention, saying that it took him four years to finally be able to admit this to other people. The past few years have taught him to be humble.

You know what? I learned so much from Mr. Demme’s honesty! Here is a man many in the homeschool community respect and admire for the successful curriculum he created, who founded the uplifting website, Building Faith Familes. And he’s admitting that he’s made all sorts of mistakes! But was it discouraging to me? No. It was encouraging! It made me think, If Mr. Demme can fail, learn from it, and move forward . . . so can I. There is something beautiful about seeing another person’s transparency and vulnerability. A door is opened, and you see them more as they really are. Then, you feel more free to let other people see you as you really are.

Now, it would be discouraging to see someone fail, then brush it off as if it were nothing. It would be discouraging to see them fail, and keep on failing, never learning what God designed for them to learn. That wouldn’t be helpful. But a person who’s been forced by life to look at his or her face in the mirror, and instead of turning away from it, has learned to deal with it, has learned to let God transform him or her — that person can encourage us with the truth that even after a failure, the end is not yet.

Part of the fruit which came out of Mr. Demme’s struggles has been his writing and publishing several books about the thing’s he’s learned (one of which I got at the homeschool convention and am reading right now). If he hadn’t gone through those challenges, what would he have been able to share with us that would have been as impacting?

What is God’s Purpose in Allowing Us to Experience Failure?

God is working on us, purging off the impurities.

“And some of them of understanding shall fall, to try them, and to purge, and to make them white, even to the time of the end . . . “ Daniel 11:35

Sometimes, I’m convinced, God lets us go through a hard time on purpose so that a weak area can be revealed and dealt with. Why? To torture us? No. It’s to strengthen us. He loves us too much to allow us to keep on fooling ourselves that we’re strong when we’re not. Our weaknessess can only be dealt with once they’ve come out into the light. And oh, that can be painfully embarrassing.

“If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.“ 1 John 1:6-9

You all aready know that in my youthful past I did some stuff I’m not proud of. I’ve talked about that. And, I try to be honest about my day-to-day struggles in the present, too. No, I don’t think it’s right to be negative all the time; there should always be a motive to lift up, to help, to grow together, or something else positive. We shouldn’t complain just to complain. We shouldn’t talk about others just to gossip. Right? But the things I’ve seen and heard have shown me that it’s good to be open. We shouldn’t be afraid to admit the truth. Sure, some people might criticize us and say, “Ha! I always knew that would happen. What a loser.” They might laugh behind our backs, or on social media, at our weaknessess. Let them. What a miserable way to live, finding entertainment in mocking others. But then, there will be those who see our honesty, and despite knowing how hard we fell, they will be motivated to get back up off the ground and keep on pressing forward to the goal.

The truth is painful; but the truth is also helpful.

Those lessons we learn while we’re still crawling at dirt-level: those will be the treasures we pass on to other struggling humans. What precious treasures!

“And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” Luke 22:31-32

• Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt you weren’t worthy to teach/mentor/reach out to others? What important lessons did you learn during that time?
• In your opinion, what’s the difference between being hypocritical and being discreet? (when we don’t choose to talk publicly about our problems).
• What people have been inspirational to you despite, or even because of, their failures? What did you learn from them?
• Do you think there are situations where it would be good to take a break from teaching/mentoring/outreach after a failure? Are there any situations where it would be best to quit?

Thank you in advance for your willingness to be so open in sharing your thoughts! I truly appreciate you all! 🙂

~Jessica