I just realized lately that I’ve never actually written a post adressing the topic of submission in general. Sure, I’d touched on it before at various times, especially in my articles on headcovering; but, I’d never given it the individual treatment I feel it deserves.
What do I believe about biblical, female submission?
First off, I really must emphasize the word biblical. I’m not talking here about the kind of submission one might see in other cultures and religions; I’m only dealing with what the Christian Bible teaches on this subject. For me, the Bible is the final word on any topic in life, including the topic of male and female roles.
And I don’t believe our roles have evolved. Changes in culture may have changed the way we perceive ourselves, but the way God designed us to behave and interact hasn’t changed.
Please note the non-change between Old Testament and New:
The Creation-
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. . . . And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:18, 21-24
The First Century A.D.-
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. . . . For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:3, 7-9
No change at all; after thousands of years God still has His mind made up about this issue. He made the woman from the man. He made the woman for the man. He made the woman to help the man. He placed the woman under the headship of the man.
Moreover, just in case we were wondering, God made it clear how this was supposed to look in society:
-No women were patriarchs.
-No women were ever appointed to serve as priests in the tabernacle/temple.
-No women were judges, except one (Deborah), which was the only exception in the whole bunch. And even then, she didn’t judge in the same way the men did (click on the link to view my article on Deborah and Miriam).
-No women were appointed by God to be kings over Israel.
-No women were selected to be part of Jesus’ intimate group of 12 disciples.
-No women are seen in the New Testament functioning as leaders of the early church; the men made all the major decisions.
-The role of pastor/elder/overseer was a role given to men only.
(Several of the above points deserve future blog posts of their own, complete with Scriptural support. For now, I’m keeping this short and sweet.)
Besides that, married women are explicitly told to submit to and obey their husbands:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18
“The aged women likewise, theat they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own hsubands, that the word of Gpod be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation [conduct] of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement [terror].” 1 Peter 3:1-6
Married women are to submit to their husband’s headship, and women in general are limited to non-leadership roles. I don’t have time to get deeply into the Why of this, apart from what I’ve already mentioned (the Creation Order); for now, I think it’s sufficient that we know that women are meant to be the followers and supporters, while men are meant to be the leaders.
It is because of this accumulation of biblical teaching and what I see as consistently prescriptive examples (as opposed to merely descriptive examples) on the role of the woman that I believe in female submission. This is not a cultural phenomenom of previous centuries that no longer applies to us; this is a principle of Scripture based on God’s design for the human race.
All this talk about submission, however, may make some of us feel a bit uncomfortable, as if the woman were a piece of property or decoration meant to adorn a man’s life, without a brain or will of her own. Isn’t that the stereotype that comes to many people’s minds when the word submission pops up?
I would like to confront that misunderstanding head on. Submission isn’t just about restriction; it involves a God-given responsiblity to use our amazing abilities for good.
So then, what can women do?
That’s a good question. For the first part of my reply, I’ll answer it with another question: What did God design women to do?
Well, the obvious difference in the biology of men and women should give us a clue: Women have a womb for bearing children; men do not. Common sense should lead us to conclude that God intended the woman’s role to involve bearing children, nursing them, and tending closely to them. That being the case, it makes sense that there were no women leading the country during the time of the Old Testament nor leading the church during the time of the New. Childbearing and -raising is a full-time job.
Only since the invention of the birth control pill (and other preventative means) have women been able to break loose from those God-built confines. God made sexual relations to lead to children; he made the woman to bear those children. Furthermore, He made the woman to be able to bear (in many cases) lots of children. That’s what’s natural, that’s what God designed, and that’s what fits with the way we see women functioning in the Bible and with what the Bible itself commands:
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Timothy 5:14
The role of child-bearer is not oppressive; it is powerful.
To bring new human life into the world–every child a unique and unrepeatable masterpiece of God’s creativity, with an eternal soul and an image that reflects God’s own–is a huge privilege that no one else has. No man can do this; no angel can, either. Not even Lucifer himself. But wouldn’t he like to, if he could, I bet. Wouldn’t he like to engender a mighty host of Lucifer-look-alikes to help him overtake the world. I wonder if he secretly hates women for their ability to pop out a new God-look-alike every 2 years or so. Wouldn’t it make sense for him to try and prevent the woman from discovering her potential to help raise an army for the Lord? Wouldn’t it make sense for him to try and convince her that her life would be better if she had fewer children–or none?
There are other things women can do besides bear children. Here’s the second part of my reply to the question, What can women do?
What if a woman wants to serve God full time in ministry outside the home? She can, as long as she doesn’t marry (1 Cor. 7:7-8). God never endorses a married woman neglecting her husband and home. He also never endorses using birth control in order to “serve God.” No, a married woman’s service to God is submission to her husband and to her role as his wife and the mother of their children (1 Cor. 7:34), in other words, being a help fit for the man, as God designed the woman for right from the beginning.
However, a single woman can devote herself to a life of service to God outside the home, if she wishes. This is the second thing a woman can do.
Before we move on, I think it’s important to emphasize that women can also serve God full time from the home. We serve God each and every time we serve our family! If all women left home for other types of ministry, our homes would be left empty and our husbands and children neglected. Our friends, extended family, and aquaintances would also come out on the short end because we would be so busy “ministering” to other people that we would have little time left for them.
Now for the third part of my reply to the question, What can women do?
Whether married or single, there are certain ways a woman can use her God-given abilites without conflicting with the role of submission God has placed her in.
-A woman can prophesy. This is another one that deserves a post of its own. For now, you might be interested in reading some of my thoughts on the topic of what it means to prophesy and where a woman can prophesy in these two posts:
The Correlation Between Prophesying and Praising God
Full-time or Part-time Headcovering?
-A woman can serve in the church. There are many ways a woman can serve without being in a position of leadership over men. Instead of focusing on what she can’t do, why not focus on all the myriad of possibilites of what she can do?
-A woman can pray. There is no difference between men and women when it comes to “who God hears.” A woman who believes in Jesus Christ as her personal Savior has direct access to God the Father through the Holy Spirit at all times. Through prayer, she can, in a way, influence God to move the universe in response to her requests.
-A woman can influence others. Leading through command and coercion isn’t the only way to influence people; we can “lead” through the power of just being: just being good, just being patient, just being kind, just being joyful, just having faith, just loving people who are hard to love, just listening, just understanding, just caring enough to do something to help, etc. We should never underestimate our ability to change the world through these everyday actions. In this way, we can influence our husbands, our children, our family, our friends, our church family, and others. There is no limit.
-A woman can teach. We can teach through word-less influence, and at times we can teach through well-thought-out words. Teaching is a spiritual gift (Romans 12:4-8). Older women are commanded to teach the younger women how to follow God’s ways (Titus 2:3-5), mothers are obviously supposed to teach their own children, and any woman can help spread the knowledge of the truth among her acquaintances. Teaching doesn’t always involve having authority over a man; sometimes it means simply pointing others in the right direction.
And there are probably more items I could add to that list. I think it should be clear by now that female submission does not mean stupid and brainless; neither does it mean powerless and helpless. No. The woman’s role is unique and full of impressive possibilities.
Why do I believe in biblical, female submission? Because the Bible teaches it, first of all; and following hard upon that concept is my other, closely-related reason: Because only the woman can do the things that God designed her to do and do them well. (In this post I mentioned one thing she can do that the man can’t–bear children; there are other ways she is at least better-adapted for certain tasks than a man is, which you may have already guessed at based on the clues I’ve given.) She can try to be a man-clone, or she can just be herself. I, personally, think it makes much more sense for her to accept herself as she was made to be. That’s true “self-esteem.”
Hi Jessica! What a wonderful example you are of a woman operating in her role to teach others by example and through writing! Your posts are so well-reasoned and written. I giggled out loud when I read that about the enemy hating when we pop out God look-a-likes every 2 years. 😀
Your last post about child bearing was excellent as well. I should’ve commented at the time. I am in the between stage of babies. It’s a rather odd place to be. It does indeed feel “unnatural.”
I would love to read more posts on submission, specifically how it looks like or plays out in daily life. I was totally unprepared for this when I got married! I thought “sure, I’ll be a submissive wife.” Boy, was I completely ignorant of what that would be like!
Thank you again for being an example of godly womanhood. May God abundantly bless you and your family. ~Moriah
Hi, Moriah!
It’s so nice to hear from you again! Thanks for your lovely feedback!
Yes, I am hoping to do more articles on submission. I’m no expert on the topic (I’ve struggled in my own walk), but I think it’s something many of us want to discuss with each other, so we can learn from each other and support each other. Thanks for the encouragement in that direction!
~Jessica
“I wonder if he secretly hates women for their ability to pop out a new God-look-alike every 2 years or so. Wouldn’t it make sense for him to try and prevent the woman from discovering her potential to help raise an army for the Lord?”
Absolutely. I think this is a big reason why women, more often than men, battle with depression. Of course there are chemical and hormonal issues that can cause it, but it can often come from thinking poorly about yourself too much. I say this because I have experienced it myself.
It’s also interesting to note that men don’t seem to struggle with guilt over leaving their family each day to go to work but working mothers do. Again, there are exceptions (for example, my mother-in-law had to work after my father-in-law was in a serious car accident and in the hospital for weeks), and I’m not saying women aren’t smart enough to work. But maybe that guilt comes from trying to fill a role you weren’t designed to fill? I hope that makes sense. I’m writing this comment after very little sleep. 🙂
Yes, Jessica, that makes total sense!
I agree with you and have had the same thoughts. Women try to push that guilt (from not having more children and from leaving the ones they do have in daycare) to the bottom of their souls, but it still lingers. Ignoring God’s design comes with a cost, and one of the ways it costs us is in the area of our own mental and emotional health. Some people deal with it better than others (in other words, they’re better at lying to themselves and ignoring the obvious), but I believe that everybody pays the cost in one way or another; there’s no escape from the natural consequences of our choices. The law of sowing and reaping is just as much of a reality as the law of gravity.
Great points; thanks for sharing!
~Jessica
Well done Jessica (like always). Of course you just gave a general summary of what submission looks like but like you mentioned its no way you can cover something so huge in one post (or any really the concept of submission is endless and so deep). I agree with all your points, thanks again for just being a woman of God. So needed in the world we live in. My state of Louisiana just overturned our abortion law. This whole progressive movement is crazy.
Thanks, Kevin!
Yeah, I hope to get more into detail on various points in future posts.
I agree that things are so crazy right now; I mean, it seems like people have lost their minds! I think it must be the sin nature + the escalating nature of the end times we live in that are making things this way. Which just serves to highlight how crucial it is that we continue to stand for truth and be light and salt in our everyday lives during these times, as you said.
This was beautiful testimony! Thank you for explaining what the Lord expects of women!
You’re welcome, Courtney! I appreciate the support!
Hi Jessica! Thank you for being an example of a godly woman and living that out for the world to see through your You Tube channel and this web page!
When I was homeschooling my children, my daughter and I had fun doing a small Bible study on the order of Creation and Biblical womanhood.
I always wondered…is she getting what I am teaching her.
Well recently my pastor insisted that I come to church despite my husband saying no (we take care of a child with a life threatining health condition & this “virus” has me at home more often) . The pastor kept telling me that churches are safe places even though we have had high numbers in our state. He said that my husband ,who is a Christian, is being overly cautious. I understand the pastor’s concern and I appreciated & respect him of course.
So anyways I asked my husband again about attending church and he told me no we are not going to church right now, we will continue to have church in our home.
Of course I was a bit tossed on what to do so I asked my daughter to pray for me.
To my surprise my daughter lovingly schooled me on biblical submission and reminded me that The Lord placed my husband as head of the household.
I was so pleased and pleasantly surprised at how much she remembered at 23! She WAS listening!
It also made me realize how very important it is to teach our sons and daughters about this Bible truth!
With that being said your post was also a reminder to myself of why and how I should conduct myself as a Christian lady.
I had lots to highlight in my Bible with the scripture you provided as well.
Thank you so much for taking the time to post! I really enjoy your writings.
I totally get your pastor wanting you back at church. You definitely don’t want to not have church. But its not like your husband is telling you you’re never going to “church” again. He just wants you home right now in this season and has good reasons behind it. Easy decision here, I would think the pastor would understand and not have you be rebellious in your marriage.
Thank you Kevin for your reply. I am in hopes the pastor will become more understanding. I am thankful that people,such as yourself, who visit this blog take the time to share godly wisdom with one another. That’s a true blessing! Thanks
Hello, Rosemarie!
Thanks for sharing that story about your daughter; that really gives me encouragement that what I am trying to teach my own children may stick with them, too. 🙂
I think that your staying home out of respect for your husband is the best choice. That is exactly what I would do. His reason for wanting to stay home makes sense, I think; he has the health of his family in mind, and that’s what any good husband and father would think of and prioritize.
Honestly, even if my husband were a non-believer and didn’t want to go to church at all, I would probably stay home. I would be embarrassed to appear at church without my husband, and I’m sure it would make him feel the same way when he guessed what other people might be thinking of him (“loser,” “no-good father,” “wimp,” “lousy husband,” etc.). That would drive a wedge between us. I have always had this mentality that I don’t want my husband to do something because he thinks I want him to; I want him to do it because he wants to–I want it to come out of his own heart. Otherwise, I would always have this nagging sense of guilt that I was forcing him to be something he’s not ready to be yet. Actually, that WAS my story. My husband was once a non-believer, and I never went to church on Sunday without him or tried to convince him to go. I just prayed that God would change his heart–and He did. I have never forgotten that, though I must admit that at times, I still struggle with wanting to make things go the way I want them to. But at what cost? I have to remind myself that the cost may not be worth it. At that time, I thought, Even if I don’t go to church, Jesus is still first in my life. He is always with me and I can always read my Bible and pray–things my husband never forbid me to do. Even now, if my husband wanted to attend a denomination I wasn’t completely in agreement with, I would go with him, just as long as it wasn’t a completely heretical group that denies the deity of Christ–I couldn’t be forced to deny Christ. But smaller issues can be overlooked for the sake of submission to the headship of my husband. I’ve known of women going to separate churches from the ones their husbands went to, and my reaction to that knowledge was one of disgust. I couldn’t believe they would undermine their husband’s authority in such a disrespectful way. I always imagined that their relationship with their husband must have been in a downfall. What man could suffer for long the indignity of having his own wife “betray” and abandon him in that way? It would be so embarassing for him to have his wife go to another church without him.
Anyways. That’s something I’ve never talked about before but have thought a lot about.
I really appreciate your kind words about my blog and videos! It’s always so nice to get that support.
~Jessica
Thank you Jessica for sharing your thoughts! I am in absolute agreement with everything you have said. Also what a beautiful testimony of answered prayer for your husband! Thanks for sharing that and taking the time to reply back to me.
You’re welcome, Rosemarie!
Hi Jessica 😊
I just wanted to ask… would you say that we are first to obey God and then to submit to our husbands?
Because if that is the case, surely we should still go to church even if our husband doesn’t, to honour God’s Word which says we should not get into the habit of not meeting together?
Thank you ♡
Hi, Michaela,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Good question. The way I see it, in this case it’s not a matter of obeying God versus obeying man. Actually, God commands us to do BOTH things (gather with other believers [Heb. 10:25] AND submit to one’s husband [1 Pet. 3:1), so it’s more a case of WHICH command we will choose to prioritize. Would you, or I, or anybody else, be able to say which of these two commands from God is more important than the other? However, I think we may be able to do both things at the same time, just not in the typical way.
There are ways to “gather with other believers” without going to church. I’m not saying these are equal to going to a church meeting, but I’m offering them as workable alternatives in difficult situations. Phone calls, emails, and hand-written letters can be means of sharing our faith and lives with one another when we can’t meet in person. We can read God’s Word and pray, listen to Christian songs, view/listen to online sermons, and visit with other Christian women for short periods of time either in the home or at the park with the kids. So, even if we don’t go to the official church service on Sunday, we won’t be un-fed as believers.
By staying at home if our husband wants/prefers it, we won’t *necessarily* be disobeying God’s command to gather with other believers.
On the other hand, if we go to church without our husband’s approval, we risk damaging our marriage through our unsubmission. And, if he isn’t a believer, this could be a barrier that makes it harder for Him to come to Christ, not easier (see 1 Peter 3:1 again). But, if we show our husband with our actions that there is no competition between him and another person (in this case, God), then that attitude of love, devotion, and respect will likely draw him to the Savior. Again, it’s not REALLY a competition between husband and God, but this is something that he might PERCEIVE in that way, and we want to show him that that’s not the case.
Hope that answers your question satisfactorily. 🙂
~Jessica
Great response Jessica, I literally have nothing to add lol. Spot on. Hope that new baby of yours is well, God bless!
As always Jessica a wonderful explanation and a beautiful picture of how God’s purpose and design ties all things together.
Thank you, Susanne! 🙂
Hi Jessica, I would like to know your thoughts on my situation. I completely agree with you on Biblical submission and tried my hardest to be the most supportive wife that I could be. Unfortunately, my husband has severe mental health issues that impacted on the family. He was causing psychological harm to my children and I, and I needed to protect my children. I tried to keep the relationship but have full care of the children but that didn’t work so I, heartbreakingly, had to terminate our marriage. My children have since flourished and are completely different children. We still have lingering effects that I have been trying to manage and pray for healing for my children, but they are so much happier and healthier. I am now a single mum with just God at my head but I still grieve almost every day for the ‘loss’ of my husband.
What are your thoughts on Biblical submission and domestic violence or when the psychological health of your children are severely affected? I have been trying to graple with this.
Hello, Lilly,
I was deeply touched by the story you shared. Honestly, I don’t think I’m qualified to give any sort of advice or opinion on your situation, having never been there myself and not having much expertise in that area.
One thing I will say is this, though: I don’t feel I can tell you whether you made the right or wrong decision, but it seems to me that since it’s already been made, your only choice is to move on, as hard as that may seem. What does “moving on” look like for you? I don’t know. Do you hope and pray for your ex-husband to be healed so that you can return to him one day (by marryinng him again), and in the meantime wait patiently while keeping busy with the necessary to-do’s of life? Or, do you just learn to live without him, never expecting that a return will be possible? Whatever the case, the answer seems unclear to me, just as much as I suppose it does to you. The only clear thing is that you can’t go back in time and re-make your decisions. You are where you are right now, and you just have to make those step-by-step decisions every day that will be what’s best for you and your children. Maybe in the future, things will change. But you’re not there yet–you’re here, and you can only do the best with where you’re at right now.
God is merciful and full of forgiveness and love. Sometimes we make choices that we think are best at the time, but later regret–but by then it’s too late to turn back. I thank God that His mercy is never ending, because of what Jesus Christ did for us on the cross. We can have confidence, if we believe in and receive Jesus as our personal Savior, that every sin–past, present, and future–has already been forgiven. When we are presented before the judgement seat of Christ, perhaps we will have a knowledge of what we did right and wrong in our life, but I don’t believe there will be any shame, since our righteousness comes from Christ and not from our own works. I know that you are torn apart by the decision that you felt you had to make, but please allow the forgiveness and healing of God to comfort you; let His love embrace you when you feel like you can’t endure things.
Thank you for taking the time to comment on this topic. Perhaps as time goes on and you continue to study the Bible’s wisdom for life, the answers will become clearer to you (and to me, too).
~Jessica
Lilly,
I too am a domestic violence survivor. For the safety of my children and myself, we had to leave. It was the scariest thing I had ever done.
I was a practicing Catholic at the time and would like to share what my priest told me, “While the Catholic Church does not condone divorce, there are times that it is understandable, if not expected, and you have that situation.” This man became a priest after his wife passed away, and they were blessed with 9 children, so that’s saying a lot.
God lead the Israelites out of Egypt where they too, were abused. He did not tell them to go back. God also charges us with the special task of caring for our children, and in this fallen world that means there are sometimes situations with no easy answer.
That being said, psychological abuse is just as bad as physical, and can gradually morph into physical and other forms of abuse. I know this first hand, and so do my children. The risk of suicide from mental abuse and mental illness is a real risk, and after my kids were forced to be with their father for court ordered parenting time, they bear scars. We all have officially been diagnosed with PTSD after the things we endured. My youngest has been hospitalized for suicide attempts from the abuse damaging her developing brain. You did the best you could with what you knew to protect the children that God Blessed you with, and yourself so that you would be alive to raise them. Love and prayers for you and all battling mental illness and domestic violence.
Jennifer
Hi Jessica, great post! I loved especially what you said about focusing on what we can do rather than what we can’t. There really is so much for us to do, serving others and meeting needs, both inside and outside the family. It is such a full ministry. I hope you are doing well in your last trimester.
Thanks, Elisa–I’m so glad we both agree on that point!
Yes, I’m doing well . . . just waiting for the baby to be born sometime in the next 2-3 weeks!
~Jessica
I enjoyed this post so much.
I’m sixty four and have tried to live this way for my forty four years of marriage. I feel very blessed to be my husband’s help-meet.
Thank you so much for writing about God’s ways for women. You are such a blessing .
That’s wonderful, Linda! I really appreciate your encouraging message–thank you!
~Jessica
This was a great post – thank you!
Oftentimes, I think, it’s not because the issues aren’t clear – biblical submission is so clear. It’s simply a matter of we women not wishing to hear it. We all do this sometimes, and feminism most of all! 🙂
Secondly, I’ve always thought that being a stay-at-home wife and mother has SO many ministry opportunities! Seriously! If I am sending notes and emails of encouragement, practicing hospitality, and reaching out with meal ministry to those who need help or encouragement, I have far MORE ministry opportunities than I can ever handle! It’s never a matter of “poor me, locked at home with no ability to do ministry.” Quite the contrary. I think that we women have glamorized ideas of what ministry needs to be (speaking! leading Bible studies! writing books! traveling!), as opposed to home-based ministry that has been carried out by women for thousands of years.
Great thoughts.
You’re absolutely right about the home ministry thing, Diana–thanks for bringing that up! I can’t believe I overlooked putting that into my post, since it’s so obvious and such a good point! (I’ll have to add something in later.)
Yes, I agree with what you said. There is so much ministry opportunity at home. I also agree with you that the submission issue is clear. Thanks for your input!
~Jessica
Im not trying to be disrespectful by any means, but I’m not sure that I fully agree with your sentiments.
You say that it is “natural” for a woman to bear children. While in general this is true, there are those that can’t. There are many women who struggle with infertility and those who have higher risk of issues developing (or death!) due to a genetic disadvantage, which I won’t even go into detail about here.
My point being, I don’t think I agree with the insinuation that child-bearing is our main purpose.
Secondly, if we aren’t supposed to partake in birth control or preventative measures or “plan,” I’m a tad confused on what should be done educationally or career wise? Abstain from marriage until we are ready to throw away our hard earned education/careers? By this logic there should not be female doctors, lawyers, businesswomen, female scientists, and the like as it takes away from ‘a woman’s place in the home.’
Again, I mean no disrespect, I just simply cannot wrap my head around this.
Hello, Heather, thank you for taking the time to comment.
While it would take far too long to answer your concerns as thoroughly as they deserve, I will try and give a quick and short response that I hope will be adequate for now.
First of all, it should be pointed out that I am trying to tackle the issue of women and their role from a purely biblical perspective. I understand that there are differences in biblical interpretation, and I want to be tolerant and patient when dealing with those differences; however, I would hope that as we look at the Bible together with honest motives, we would be able see its teachings for what they are and not for what we want them to be. I’m not sure what viewpoint you are coming from. For me as a Christian, the most important viewpoint to consider is God’s. That’s why I read the Bible, try to understand it as well as I can, and do my best to apply its principles to my life. If you are not approaching this issue from that same standpoint, it will probably be very hard for us to understand each other, much less come to agree with each other.
The anatomy and biology of women is set up for the woman to be able to bear children. It seems to me that is a clear sign of what God’s intention and purpose was for her when He made her. Various New Testament admonitions are based on the Creation Order, which shows that the way God set things up from the beginning when everything was still “very good” is still applicable to us today.
Yes, it’s true that because of the Fall when Adam and Eve sinned by disobeying God, their descendants (the entire human race) have suffered from the consequences of that decision. Bad things happen, and it is sad when they do. Infertility, genetic disorders, risky pregnancies and labors, and even death (which none of us can avoid anyway) are all effects from not only that original sin, but sometimes also from the choices that we ourselves make, or those of other people whose choices affect us. And yet, those are all signs of how God’s design has been broken; they are not natural at all. If we have problems, we need to look for God-honoring solutions that do not deny His original design and purpose for us.
Our main purpose as women is not, however, to bear children; that is one major purpose of our lives, but not the main one. The main purpose of our lives is to know God through His Son Jesus Christ and love Him with everything we are. Even if, because of infertility or other problems, we are not able to bear children, we can still fulfill that main purpose.
As for women’s education and career plans, I think that we should approach this issue from what the Bible says about the woman’s role and not from what society has come to accept as normal nowadays. We can all have our own opinions, of course, but it’s God’s opinion that should matter most to us. There may be a place for women doctors, scientists, etc. but this is easiest to do if the woman is not married and has no children; otherwise, her career would cause her to neglect her family and contradict God’s design for marriage and family. The Lord allows a woman to focus on something other than having a family IF she has chosen to live a life of singleness devoted copmletely to Him. And, I would not consider choosing family over career as throwing anything away. I see it as choosing something superior over something inferior: people over career plans. I know that we can help people through having an outside job or career, but the main people we should be helping are those of our own family. They need US more than they need more money, etc.
That’s all for now. And I call that a “quick and short response,” ha, ha! But seriously, if I were to get more deeply into this topic, it would require several blog posts, which I don’t have time for now. Thank you for your interest and willingness to have a discussion on this topic. You might be interestested in viewing my Comment Guidelines.
Have a good day!
~Jessica
Hi Heather! Respectfully, I DO see our place as being in the home, raising the next generation in our world’s war against sin and Godlessness. Even though I DID go to college, I studied Family Studies, where I learned things about nutrition and psychology. This will allow me to be the best mother I can, and be the mother my children deserve.
So because some people are blind or deaf, does that mean it’s not natural to see or hear?
Staying home to raise a family doesn’t mean you’re throwing away your education. What a sad outlook!
Hello there Jessica! I have recently discovered your blog after stumbling upon your YouTube channel and agree wholeheartedly on the majority of the topics you cover. It’s extremely refreshing to find a woman that isn’t afraid to stand out from the crowd for fear of being too controversial. This is the first time I’ve ever left a comment myself, but have read many on here as I find the comments to be nearly as informative and interesting as the articles! I was wondering if you would be willing talk more on the subject of when you were praying that your husband would begin to desire to attend church. I’m in a similar situation at the moment. When my husband and I got married we were luke-warm Christians at best, and thought that church was really unnecessary and felt like it was filled with hypocrisy… Well 7 years and (so far) 3 babies later, I have a had a fire reignited inside me for living a life that is in alignment with biblical truth. My husband has no issues with any of the changes I’ve made but at the same time isn’t completely on board yet (but I have noticed some changes! Praise God!) We still somewhat feel that church definitely isn’t the MOST important aspect of Christian living but I personally have started to crave attending a good solid church again.. But just as you wrote about your thoughts on attending without your husband, my feelings are very similar on the topic. I suppose I just wanted to have a hear to heart with a mamma that has had a similar experience and pick your brain on exactly how you handled it with such grace. Thank you for all the beautiful articles you write, you are making a difference. 💛
Hi, Heather,
Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog and for your very kind words to me! I’m so pleased to meet you!
I think the subject you brought up would indeed make a good post and/or video. Thanks for the suggestion! For now, I will share a little story our pastor told us about his “Nan” (grandma). Her husband was very cynical and didn’t want to go to church. She took her children with her to church (which he thankfully did not oppose), and when they were older and had left home, she continued going to church by herself. She was a sweet old lady who always helped people and was well known as a kind, gracious woman who really loved God (which was true). However, her husband still did not go to church with her. In fact, he began to show signs of being jealous that she spent time at church while he had to wait for her at home. She realized that her husband had to come first, and after careful consideration and prayer, had peace with discontinuing going to church so that she could attend full time to the needs and wants of her husband. She saw her husband as her ministry, even more than any other people she might have helped at church. Her husband was impressed by her love and devotion to him. I don’t remember if he finally began going to church as well, but she definitely impacted him with her loyalty to him and it strengthened their marriage.
I read your other comment, so I know that your husband is a loving, devoted husband and father. He sounds like a very good man! In the case of a husband who doesn’t want to go to church, for whatever reason, I think we can follow the example of our pastor’s Nan, and put our husbands first. This will impress them with our love and devotion to them. Perhaps later, God will work in their hearts to begin to desire church as much as we do. Until then, we can always keep up with Bible reading and keeping connected with other Christians through various ways.
Hope that helps!
~Jessica
Hello again! I just wanted to leave another quick comment to follow up with my first because I don’t feel that I really made it clear at all that my husband is an extremely EXCELLENT man. 💙 He is truly such a loving father and supportive husband! He is supportive of our homeschooling, home birth, home making, homesteading, and all the home-y things! Lol I couldn’t have asked for a better man to have by my side. He never complains about being the only one earning an income in our family, he’s an amazing leader but never takes advantage of his position of leadership in a negative way. I guess I just wanted to be sure that it was understood that I am in a very good loving marriage. I simply want to continue to become even more on the same page as we pursue a loving, biblical life together. 💛