Ladies, as far as I can tell, this question wasn’t even being asked by Christians before the 20th Century and Radical Feminism; but now, it’s become part of our cultural vocabulary. Why? Was it because birth control didn’t exist, or was it because our perspective on birth control has changed?
To answer the first part of the question, there have always been methods of birth control that have existed throughout the history of the world, such as withdrawal or abstinence, for example (see Genesis 38). It isn’t that people before now were so ignorant they didn’t even know how to prevent children; the fact is, they could have, but they for the most part didn’t, though I will concede that more options are available now than before. (In The Plymouth Settlement, I read of a man in the early 1600’s who attempted to prevent conception when he had intercourse with a woman who was not his wife. I think this supports the point I’m trying to make: People weren’t completely ignorant when it came to preventing conception, even in those days.)
So then, if birth control isn’t really new, then what is? Is it the way we view birth control? This is what I believe happened: Before, people knew how to prevent children, but they for the most part didn’t because they valued children and their ability to conceive; this was true especially of followers of the one true God. But Feminism, though it started out as something “radical” has now become mainstream, clouding our thinking to the point where we have reinterpreted the Bible’s teaching about having children to mean something other than what it has meant to God’s followers for thousands of years. Our perspective has been muddied to the point where we can no longer clearly see the truth, which in turn causes us to ask questions such as, “If I use birth control, can’t God still cause me to conceive if He wants?”
I have heard this from multiple people, so it isn’t something new to me. However, I believe it’s not reasonable to expect God to come between us and our free will every time. If you’ve read enough Bible stories, you know that God sometimes interferes with our bad choices and prevents them, but sometimes He doesn’t. Sometimes He allows us to be rebellious and doesn’t stand in our way. How sad for us to use His sovereignty as an excuse for our disobedience.
And when it comes to child prevention, disobedience it most certainly is.
“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply…” Genesis 1:28
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Timothy 5:14
Above, I have provided one clear example from the Old Testament and one clear example from the New Testament to show that God’s will for married women didn’t change over the course of several thousand years from Genesis to 1 Timothy — why would it change all the sudden now? Notice, furthermore, that these are not mere suggestions, but commands.
To go against a clear command of God is sin. Whether or not He could override our choice to use birth control is not the issue; the issue is whether or not we will obey Him.
Please note, I understand that there are life-threatening situations that may call for medical intervention. These happen and when they do, we must make hard choices. If you have ever felt like you had to make a hard choice to allow a surgery that would cut off your ability to conceive, please know that I am not condemning you. This post is meant to address the issue of birth control in a general way; please keep that in mind as you continue to read.
Just recently, I was reading the book William Carey: Obliged to Go, by Janet and Geoff Benge. I discovered something I hadn’t known before, but that I believe has so much to do with the main question presented in this post. Wait a moment and you’ll see what I mean.
In the late 1700’s, most Christians in England didn’t think it was necessary to send out missionaries:
Most ministers believed that Jesus had given the task of sharing the gospel message to his twelve disciples and that when they died, so did the job itself. Now no one was required to share his or her faith, especially not in dangerous, unknown regions. Many Christians went so far as to say that if God wanted the heathen in other lands to hear the gospel message, He could tell them Himself without any help from human beings. After all, He was all powerful, wasn’t He? (page 56, emphasis added)
Doesn’t it seem ridiculous to us now that people would even think that way? Why would they think that God’s word would have changed over time? That it only applied to the disciples and not to them, too? I have trouble understanding how they could overlook verses such as these:
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!” Romans 10:13-15
And yet, incredibly, they did just that. The truth was sitting there right in front of their eyes and they chose to ignore it. Why? My belief is that it was for convenience’ sake: It was simply easier to pretend that God no longer expected it of them, even though His word clearly said otherwise. Does that sound a little like what we’ve been talking about?
They believed that God, because He is all powerful, could override their lack of obedience with a miracle. And He certainly could; but again, why test Him? Why stubbornly resist Him? Why purposely stand in His way?
When people use birth control while saying, “God could cause me to conceive if He wanted to,” they do basically the same thing. Sure, God could do a miracle, but why expect it of Him? Why not instead cooperate with Him and allow Him to have free exercise of His sovereignty over our lives? Why not be a Yes people that says to God, I surrender my fertility to You, do with it as You please, than a No people who says to God, I’m going to do what I can to block conception, but if You want to interfere go ahead and try; I’ll accept Your will if it comes in the package of an impossible miracle — then, and only then.
William Carey, considered the father of modern missions, said Yes to God’s will as set out in Scripture. He dedicated the rest of his life to being a missionary to India, even though many risks were involved. He didn’t try to get around it with excuses. Surely this same attitude of willingness applies to all areas of life, and not just to that of being sent out as a missionary. Doesn’t it makes sense to believe that just as God was waiting for missionaries to decide to go before the “heathen” could hear the gospel and be saved, in a similar way He is also waiting for married couples to decide to give Him control of their fertility before children will be able to come into this world? He wanted the lost to be saved, but Christians had been unwilling to go and tell them the gospel, and many “heathens” went to hell as a result. Similarly, He wants children to be born, but Christians have been unwilling to conceive them, and many treasures the world could have known have never been born as a result.
Do you see the connection? And greater still, do you see the tragedy? Because it’s true: God does not usually operate by opposing our free will; instead, He allows us free reign to rebel, along with all the attendant consequences.
Think of it: He didn’t get between Eve and the forbidden fruit, even though I’m sure He would have really preferred (huge understatement) that she just obey Him. But, He let what was going to happen, happen, knowing what the terrible results would be. He let the Israelites have their way in the desert when they complained and asked for meat because they were tired of manna: “So they did eat, and were well filled: for he gave them their own desire…” (Psalm 78:29). Did you see that? He gave them what they wanted even though it wasn’t what was best for them, and it clearly was in opposition to His will.
Might He not do the same with us when we choose to use birth control? He could allow us to be stubborn and go our own way, even though it’s not His will. His allowing our birth control to be successful so that we don’t have any more children doesn’t mean He’s in agreement with our choice. It’s not reasonable to expect Him to give us what we have already clearly rejected and decided we don’t want; as in the case of the Israelites, He might just give us our own desire and let us suffer the outcome of our poor choice.
Yes, He may in some cases have mercy and override a couple’s choice by causing their birth control to be unsuccessful and giving them another child. But, just because this happens sometimes doesn’t give us the freedom to resist His word on this matter. He said to “be fruitful,” and He clearly designed our bodies to carry out this task. Birth control opposes the way God created our reproductive systems to function.
Perhaps one day we will learn that there were millions of children who could have been conceived and who He wanted to be conceived but weren’t because of our stubbornness. Then, let us not blame Him for not interfering. Let us admit that we were fools and only saw what we wanted to see.
Because this is such an important issue — in fact, one of the turning-point issues of our day, I believe — I have taken the time to record everything the Bible says about having children as I come across it in my personal Bible study. The accumulation of so much information on this topic has been simply overwhelming to me! The Bible has so much to say about this, but it’s “hidden in plain sight,” so to speak. It’s definitely there, but we oftentimes read the Bible with a pair of colored spectacles on that won’t allow us to see past our cultural upbringing and see clearly. Our vision is muddied, but the Bible is clear.
I have had it in my heart to publish a list of all these verses, book by book of the Bible, but hadn’t done it yet. But, I think it’s time. I’m worried that if I don’t do it now, I never will. Perhaps others have already done something similar, yet I feel the need to do this both for myself and for those God enables me to reach in my own sphere of influence.
Because of this great passion of mine to publish the truth so we can see it clearly for ourselves, I am going to take a break from regular post writing so that I can get these lists together for us all.
As I finish a list for a book of the Bible, my plan is to publish it as a PDF file so that it can be easily downloaded and printed out. I will post a new article to go with it, describing my findings and highlighting several of the most prominent verses.
I think that this will probably be one of the most valuable things I have ever done in my life, besides having children of my own. If you believe the same way as I do, could you please pray for me? I need energy and time to work on this project. I also need wisdom from God to know which verses He wants me to include, and if He wants me to include any notes with them or just leave the verses “as is.” And I need our computer to work.
By the way, I would like to tell you that we are now expecting our 8th child!
That’s why I haven’t been keeping up with answering comments as well as I would like, but I do read all of them and appreciate every single one of you very much! (This is also partly why I haven’t been making new videos on YouTube recently, either. In addition, our main laptop that I had been using for making videos and writing posts is now unusable. We are hoping to replace it soon, but that will take an investment that we aren’t ready to make yet.) I have been tired lately, and my tummy has been in a pretty much constant unsettled state, but so far, this pregnancy has started out better than many of my others. For that, I am so thankful!
So, if you will, please pray for this pregnancy, as well. I’m hoping that this will be my best ever, with God’s help! And Thank You to those of you who have never stopped praying for me; you are very special to me. I know there are several of you who are going through some very, very hard times, and I want you to know that I am praying for you, too, when the Lord brings you to my mind. Thank you for your friendship and sisterly support; it is so valued and so necessary.
~Jessica
Glory to God amen sister will you pray for me too I just getting over a mischarriage I lost baby at 8 weeks. It so hard I got 4 children but losting one still so hard.
Hi, Monica, thanks for your kind remarks!
Yes, I will pray for you. I have never had a miscarriage so far, but I know others who have, and I know that it is painful. God says that He is the God of all comfort, and He will be with you through all of this. Keep your eyes focused on Him.
“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” Psalm 27:13-14
~Jessica
Jessica!
Love this article and will be praying and thinking of you as you journey to obey the Lord’s task He has set before you! May His will be some! I am so happy for you all that another blessing from the Father is now in your womb. As I read through the post I felt a few more sentences down and I would be reading a pregnancy announcement and YES! YOUR PREGNANT! Praise The good Lord for a wonderful gift. May your husband and you guide this baby and all of your children in the way they should go, God give you strength. I also am now half way through another pregnancy, our most recent was born in April last year and were waiting for baby #5 for May. So exciting, very much work and sacrifice to still do all of our duties and homeschool while pregnant but The Lord sees it all. Anyways, just want to send love to you and yours and I will most defiantly be praying for you as you earnestly contend for the faith and look to honor an obey God as He lays out a task before you. I too am so burdened right His subject and it has been a deep point of anguish for me since the good Lord brought us into the truth and obedience about having all the children He wills to send us. At first it was hard for me to not judge other Christians because of it and I think it was because I had such a jealousy for Jesus. I wanted everyone to obey in this area and it wasn’t happening so I became upset . Now I feel I’m more of in the anguish part of feeling in utter helplessness because I yearn so badly for the Lords people to repent of this monstrous sin. May the Lord illuminate and guide us all. Thanks for colds sharing and I pray you will feel healthy and rejuvenated as each day goes by. God bless you!!!
-Sheridan
Thank you so much, Sheridan! I love how we think so much alike! Yes, I have gone through all the same emotions you mentioned: jealousy for Jesus, wanting others to obey, feeling upset, feeling a deep anguish, and feeling helpless. But, when has it ever been easy to convince people to go against the mainstream? Pick anything, and we can see it’s always been a battle: baptism by immersion, salvation by faith alone, being willing to be a missionary, etc. This is no different: it’s just another area of the battle for our minds that has been going on for thousands of years. Satan doesn’t like to give up the ground he has gained, so we should expect this to be difficult. But, God is greater than he who is in the world!
Your words were so encouraging to me today!
~Jessica
I’m so happy for your newest addition! Congrats mama!! God is great!
Thanks, Courtney! That means a lot to me!
~Jessica
Amen! I think this all goes back to people just not fearing God anymore they just want to do what they want sadly. Congrats on the 8th child, nothing like seeing a woman who fully embraces God’s word and just think about the godly example you’re being for your kids! God bless sister
Thank you, Kevin! Yes, many people do not have an eternal perspective based on a fear of God, but an earthly, worldly perspective based on a fear of all the “what ifs.” And I agree that it’s sad.
~Jessica
Warmest congratulations !
God can do anything, he can save the life of an intended murder victim but that doesn’t make the murderer any less guilty. He can of course bless the womb of a contracepting woman with life but that does not change the fact that by using contraception, she (and or her husband) had chosen and intended to reject God’s gift of life and go against his design for marriage, for intimacy and for her as a wife.
Thank you, Susanne! And very good point, as well.
~Jessica
I’ve been waiting /hoping for this announcement! Congratulations on your new baby. I’ll be praying for you and asking the Lord to guide you as your prepare this article.
Thank you so very much, Regina! Your prayers are so precious to me. Really!
~Jessica
Oh my goodness CONGRADULATIONS!! Such a wonderful surprise! Thank you for sharing this good news with all of us reading your blog. I am praying for a healthy mama and baby.
I am looking forward to the pdf talking about what the Bible says about babies. It will be an invaluable resource. Blessings.
Thanks, Elisa! It is always so GOOD to hear such enthusiastic congratulations for a new child being formed! Your words are very encouraging to me as I deal with the sickness of the first trimester!
I’m glad to hear that you are looking forward to seeing the results of my PDF project!
~Jessica
Will this be another homebirth?
Hi, Courtney!
God willing, yes, it will be another waterbirth at home. I have had five of those so far, and they have been a good experience for me every time.
~Jessica
That’s wonderful! I homebithed my 8 month old in the bed he was conceived in. Plan to homebirth any future arrows.
Thank you for sharing the news about your pregnancy,Jessica!
May God bless you and your family and may He always provide what all you need. Please take time and care for yourself…I will pray for you.
Thank you very much, Sanae! I really appreciate your prayers!
~Jessica
Hi jessica, iv been following your YouTube and reading your blogs. I am really like minded and love to read these things. I felt it was so fitting for me. I had previously used birth control until my husband told me it wasnt right and to stop. I doubted him but did as he told me to. Before i did it God revealed to me that it was killing life after death. It was the copper iud. About 2 weeks after i got it removed I had a miscarriage and i fully believe the left over copper had terminated the baby. I will never use birth control again especially after coming to have similar beliefs as you about our creators will. Im 22 and my husband is 25. We have a 4yr old. 3yr old. 1.5 yr old and are expecting another in late May. It is overwhelming sometimes and the criticism is abundant. I cherish the life God has given me and every pregnancy i have realized more and more of just how beautiful and amazing it truly all is. To have life formed and created inside you. To be a vessel between God and an entire new soul he creates… Its amazing i ever once thought that to be burdensome. Anyways, i would love for you to do a blog on your waterbirth experiences and explain more about it and the process. I have precipitous labors and my rights were taken away from me at my last birth in the hospital. Things happened that i specifically did not consent to and were done anyways. I havent had anything concerning with any of my babies. I want to trust God to give me and my husband the guidance to safely bring life to its first breath of air but what an intimidating thing. Would love some encouragement and insight! Congratulations.
Hi Ellysa! Brian and I feel the same as you and your husband! We believe children are beautiful, SACRED gifts from God, and we IMPLI trust in Him.
Ellysa – it is truly a blessing from God that your husband has lead you to the understanding that it is sinful for you to use birth control.
It will be unbelievably hard work and frankly physically very demanding but God made you as a vessel for new life and your womb is his to bless.
God bless
Hi, Ellysa! Thanks for your congratulations! I have written about my most recent waterbirths in these two posts:
https://theheavenlyhearth.com/2018/08/09/birthing-baby-7/
https://truthathome.wordpress.com/2016/01/17/dawn-breaks-as-a-new-child-is-born/
After my next birth, I plan on writing a post on how it went.
If you want to learn more about waterbirths and homebirths, I recommend looking for books on these topics at your library or on Amazon. I also suggest finding a midwife and making an appointment for a consultation. I don’t know if you will be able to birth at home with your history of precipitous births (of course, I’m not an expert, so don’t take my word for it), but some midwives will attend your birth at a hospital as a doula and will be an advocate and support for you while there. Another option is to look for a doctor that is more conservative and natural in approach. You might have to consult with several before you find one you think you will like.
I am so happy to hear that you are expecting your next baby in May! That is SO wonderful!! You may feel that it is a little late to be looking for a new doctor right now. If you’re happy with him/her, that’s great, but if not, it couldn’t hurt to do some investigation to try and find someone you will feel more comfortable with.
How awesome that we share the same feelings about birth control! It’s always so nice to meet another lady who thinks as I do, since trusting God with this area of our lives is so rare nowadays (though it didn’t use to be).
My children tend to be spaced apart (without any planning on our end at all) with two years between. I don’t get my first period postpartum until about a year afterwards. Then, I have between one to two periods before becoming pregnant again. I think that this natural spacing happens because I have always breastfed my babies full time (no more than 2 1/2 hours between nursings, except at night), without giving them supplemental food or drink of any kind until they are about nine months, and only very gradually at that point. We also have our babies co-sleep with us, so that I can nurse them at night when they wake. This is very easy for me, and actually helps me get more rest since I don’t have to get out of bed and the baby just falls back to sleep naturally.
But, even if our babies come closer together after doing our best to nurse full time, we can know that as hard as it may be, having these children is a holy and essential work that brings glory to God. Keeping that eternal perspective helps a lot. It also helps to find ways to cut back on our schedules and make room for more intentional rest — we definitely need it, if we are going to continue doing the Lord’s will!
Thanks for your comments! I am looking forward to hearing from you again in the future!
~Jessica
Well, that’s what I get for being behind on my blog reading – I miss the biggest news of the year! CONGRATULATIONS!!! We are so excited for you! I had been wondering if you would have baby news for us soon, and I’m so excited to hear about your newest. Many congratulations from us all.
Secondly, I’m very excited about your new verse-compilation project, and I will definitely be praying for that. I can’t wait to see the fruit of it!
As you say, the truth about contraception and God’s view of it is definitely hidden in plain sight. It’s one of those cultural brainwashing things that is so deeply ingrained, both inside and outside the church, that people are locked into the mindset. It’s one of those sacred cows where DISAGREEMENT IS NOT PERMITTED. It’s so “non-permitted” that people don’t even think about the possibility of disagreeing. This-is-just-how-it-is.
When we started down the road to rejecting contraception, it took us a full seven years from the first time I heard something negative about contraception to the point where we took the plunge and decided to live a non-contracepting life. It just took that long to work through the layers of cultural brainwashing.
And you are so right about the “God can make me conceive through birth control” bit. That one puzzled me – its lack of logic, that is – even when I was pro-birth control. (And I was extremely pro-birth control!)
If that’s the case, then…
– “I am going to go ahead and have this abortion. If God really wants the baby to live, he can make the procedure unsuccessful.”
– “I am going to waste all of my money. If God really wants me to have money in the bank, he’ll miraculously make some appear there.”
– “I am not going to exercise and take care of myself. If God wants me to be healthy, he’ll make me healthy without me having to do anything about it. ”
There is always a place for human free will and for obedience.
Wonderful article, and CONGRATS again!!!
Love,
Diana
Dear Diana,
Thank you so much for your enthusiastic congratulations! I really appreciate your warmhearted, encouraging support! I had wanted to email you about our newest pregnancy, but I just hadn’t managed to do it yet. In fact, I’ve been wanting to thank you by handwritten note for your wonderful Christmas card and letter, but it hasn’t happened yet, either. I wish I were more timely in sending news and replies!
Thank you for your comment on my post. It is always so heartening to get your supportive feedback! And I really appreciate your prayers for my new project.
~Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Congratulations. I admire your courage and faith as always. May God protect you and your baby.
Thank you, Kinuko, for those sweet and supportive words! They really mean a lot to me.
~Jessica
Congratulations! What wonderful news! I hope you are starting to feel better. The only thing that helped my morning sicknsss was wearing anti-nausea wrist bands. They’re about $10 in the pharmacy section at Walmart.
Thanks, Jessica! It’s always so meaningful to get congratulated on another baby!
Yes, I’ve tried the wristbands (Sea bands, I think they’re called), and I don’t know how much they helped me this time around, since I didn’t really have that much nausea, anyway. I should have bought them during my previous pregnancy — that was a difficult one!
Thanks for the tip!
~Jessica
This actually happened to my husband and I with our first baby. We were using a condom and it broke! We had already begun to think of having a baby by then, so it wasn’t a big upset…but it was a surprise! Haha! We hadn’t reached our first anniversary yet, so I had my first fairly early on. So yes, despite our “planning” things worked out very differently! I don’t believe there ever is “planning” on our part to be honest!
I would love to know your thoughts on something…if you ever happen to find some time, of course! 😉 So, between our first and second baby, I had been using the pill, but after about a year or so, came to think differently of it. We spent a long time conceiving our second, and after his birth, I had a blood clot in my leg which prevents me from going on most hormonal birth control. Even if I wanted to, my doctor wouldn’t let me. He said I could use an iud, but I told him I wasn’t interested! So, I’ve been birth control free, and I do feel more “right” about that. However, my husband will usually put on a condom when we are intimate–I would never insist that he wear one, but I don’t tell him not to either. I am really working on being in complete submission to him and trusting him. I feel like maybe he thinks he should wear it, like it is the responsible thing to do. However, there are so many times when he doesn’t put it on, and I have to admit, sometimes I feel a little nervous, even though I comply. I guess I still have that influence of the culture saying it’s “irresponsible” or something. But, I truly want to submit to my husband’s decisions, even in this. Sooo…What would your advice be to a wife whose husband sometimes does use birth control, even if the wife isn’t. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure exactly what my beliefs are on the issue, and my husband hasn’t really delved into the topic very deeply with me, either. I guess I’m a little confused, but I know the bottom line for me is to submit to him, and trust in God and his provision. Thank you so much! I really love your blog-it’s one of my favorite Christian women’s blogs on the internet because you talk about topics with grace and conviction, and I feel like I can trust you, even if I may not agree with everything. I really like to read your thoughts! 🙂 <3
Hello, Mrs. D,
I’m glad to know you enjoy my blog! Thank you for your kind words about it.
To respond to your comment:
First of all, though condoms sometimes do break, they don’t always. As I pointed out in my post, God will oftentimes allow us to go our own stubborn way, even though that path isn’t His will for us. If a condom doesn’t break, that isn’t necessarily a sign that God is against our having a child; it simply may mean that He is giving us what we want, just as He gave the Israelites quail in the desert, though He would have preferred for them to trust Him. So, we must be careful with trusting in “signs,” since they are not always an accurate indication of what God’s will truly is.
Second of all, the way to know God’s will is to search the Scriptures. I recommend that you re-read through the Bible book by book, jotting down every instance where God mentions anything about having children. This will take some time, but it will be worth it. How does God view babies and children? Is it anything like what our culture believes? Or is it different? If our beliefs don’t line up with God’s word, then our beliefs need to be changed.
The hope is that after finding out what God has said about this subject in the Bible, you will be sure of what the truth is. You can gently share these things with your husband, who may not be aware of them and who may not have as much time to study this topic as you may have. Your husband might appreciate your sharing the results of your study with him. Don’t be afraid to try.
I don’t feel comfortable telling you what my opinion is about what you should do regarding the specific issue you brought up. I know what I would do, but you must wrestle out this issue with God on your own. As you and your husband seek God’s will through studying His word and through prayer, I trust His Spirit will reveal the answers to you. I’m glad you stopped taking the pill and that you aren’t going to use the IUD. Both of those things are a danger to a woman’s health and can cause early, undetected abortions.
I recommend these links for more information on the dangers of the pill:
http://thepillkills.org/
https://www.epm.org/resources/2010/Feb/17/short-condensation-does-birth-control-pill-cause-a/
Here is something about the dangers of the IUD:
http://abortionworker.com/abbyjohnson/iuds-the-worst-choice/
Here is an article I wrote that touches on the subject of condoms, though not very in-depth (I say nothing about the topic of submission/non-submission to a husband who insists on using condoms):
https://truthathome.wordpress.com/2017/02/21/another-reason-to-never-use-condoms-or-spermicides/
Hope this information is helpful! May God guide you in His wisdom and truth.
~Jessica
Thank you, Jessica! And congratulations on your pregnancy, by the way!
Thank you for the links, I read through them. The one about the IUD is so chilling. I am so glad I refused it–by that point, I was already sure I didn’t want to take any birth control, but now I’m *really* glad I had refused it. I am also glad I am not on the pill anymore. There have been so many days since when I wished I hadn’t taken it at all, but I can’t change what I did back then. The road to conceiving my second was long and hard, involving fertility treatments and a miscarriage, and it made me rethink a lot of things that are just taken for granted in our culture…It is a miracle that any of us are here! I’m so thankful for my children, and I love being a wife and mom. Thank you for your encouragement. I really should open up my Bible and read with the intent of seeing family and children through God’s eyes. I will see what comes up in conversations with my husband 🙂 Thanks so much for your reply!
You’re very welcome! And thanks for the congratulations!
~Jessica
I would talk to your husband about it, see how you guys mutually feel about “birth” control. If he still insists on wearing a condom then so be it submit to his decision but I’d hope both you guys realize what a blessing kids are and how when you can’t have any anymore you might regret not trying for more. You are raising God’s army to go out and be the light!
Thank you for your encouragement, Kevin! This is definitely a topic I should talk more about with my husband.
Mrs D – after your relationship with God your first duty as a wife is to submit to your husband. It is not for you to preach to him. But I would say that two things are important firstly, unless he absolutely insists on you using some form of birth control, to submit your body to him and your womb to God, not to refuse your husband and not to do anything to prevent conception. The second being to pray for your husband and to see in you and your behaviour the love of God , the wish to submit to God and the complete acceptance of the gift of life in your womb.
The all you can do is to hope and pray that your husband will lead you in following Christ.
Thank you for your input, Susanne. Thankfully, I am not on birth control, and my husband wouldn’t force me to use it….we are both very invested in our children and family life. I will continue to follow God in submission to my husband and in prayer for him.
Hi, Mrs. D! If I may interject a quick note here: “Birth control” is ANY method used to prevent fertilization. This includes all these forms: hormonal/chemical birth control (the pill, IUD, injection, patch, ring, etc.), barrier contraceptives (condoms, diaphragms), and even — to my way of thinking — the “natural”/rhythm method. The purpose/goal/motive of all of these methods is to keep the woman from becoming pregnant with a child, which in turn usually leads to its birth. Therefore, the term “birth” control. Just thought I’d clarify.
It’s wonderful to see your devotion to your husband in continuing to pray for him and submit to him in the way you feel God requires you to. That is an inspiration to me!
~Jessica
Mrs. D and Susanne,
Just to clarify for you what my own viewpoint is: I agree with Susanne and don’t recommend “preaching” to one’s husband, either; but, I also believe there is nothing wrong with gentle conversation. It seems to me that good communication is a healthy part of any relationship. As I said before, sometimes our husbands simply don’t have a lot of time to do the studying and research we may have time to do while at home. They may actually appreciate hearing what we’ve found, which in turn will stimulate thinking and helpful conversation. But, if one’s husband remains convinced he is right, then we must consider where our duty to obey God must lead us (some things are too perverted to submit to, while other things may not be as bad and are okay to submit to). In certain situations, we can submit with a peaceful conscience and win our husbands without a word (1 Peter 3:1-2).
I think Susanne brought up some very good points. If more Christian women would be willing to submit their wombs to God and to be loving, devoted mothers at home, I think a transformation would happen in our families and churches. Women mostly led the way in wanting to use birth control as part of the Feminist movement, and men willingly followed (sex without responsibility, or at least with *less* responsibility [fewer children], sounded good to them). Now, we women must repent of our fore-mother’s rebellion and lead the way, in a sense, in returning to the Lord’s “old” paths — but with a respectful, loving, non-rebellious attitude, depending upon the power of the Holy Spirit on not on our own strength.
~Jessica
So well said, Jessica. Thank you for your wise words. I agree. 🙂
Jessica – I simply cannot agreed more. Birth control has its roots in the evils of feminism and whilst there is no doubt that men have taken advantage of it especially in fornication it has always been primarily a sin of women and one of which Christian women should repent.
I would add however that Christian men have a huge part to play. It is to be hoped that they play their part in rejecting the culture and practice of birth control and in calling upon their womenfolk to submit themselves in marriage to God and welcome the gift of life he brings to our womb.
I could not agree more Susanne!! In fact, the Lord opened my womb for a 2nd time recently! I will be adding a 2nd arrow to my quiver this fall.
Courtney, that’s wonderful! Every new child is a blessing! I hope your pregnancy goes smoothly and that both you and the baby will continue to be healthy. 🙂
~Jessica
Thank you Jessica!! Brian is remotely finishing a Religion MA right now. He has a teaching job lined up for fall. (We’ll be moving from TX to KY). I’m 24 already, how old are you? How many more babes do you hope to have?
Courtney, I’m happy for you and your husband about his upcoming teaching job: that’s great! I hope you will like living in Kentucky!
I’m 36. I hope to have as many babies as God decides is best for us. 🙂
~Jessica
Susanne, I think the same as you do, that Christian men need to step up and be the leaders that God is calling them to be. We all — both men and women — need to reject the culture of death/not wanting human life, and embrace a culture of life/wanting and celebrating human life.
I like this movie, which documents the way birth control eventually became accepted in our culture:
http://www.thebirthcontrolmovie.com/shop/hdwgh-dvd
~Jessica
Agreed, men have a big part to play in this as well. While birth control has always been around in the “culture” of the world, I agree that the Church needs to be different than that and reject that practice! I’m sure the early Christians stood out from their culture in the Roman days too in this aspect. I remember hearing in a sermon at my church that the early Church grew so quickly partly because they valued life–specifically the lives of widows and babies. They would rescue babies that had been abandoned on the streets unwanted by their parents, and raised them as their own. I thought that was such a beautiful picture of even back in the ancient days, Christians stood for life.
Thank you, Mrs. D. Yes, I have heard that about the early Christians, too, and I agree that it is a beautiful picture of how Christians have always stood for life! 🙂
~Jessica
Wonderful news !
It is extraordinary that an idea recognised as sinful from the earliest days of the faith and promoted by those intent on casting out any pretensions of Godly life was allowed to corrupt society in spite of all the warnings issued by Godly men and women.
It is extraordinary, and I’m still trying to understand it. I think it is easiest for us to accept those things that we think will make our lives more convenient. Then, we make excuse for our behavior by attempting to label it “good” and “necessary,” while re-interpreting God’s word to make it seem to say something that it has never actually said.
~Jessica
I prayed to God many years ago and asked Him to bless me with a child/children if and when He wants, regardless of my circumstances and feelings at the time because I trust He has a plan. I’m 34 and still childless so I assume he does not want me to be a mother or it likely would have happened by now. I am disappointed, especially because there are so many women around me who have children easily but treat their children with contempt. I’ve never been diagnosed with fertility issues. I feel like a mother without a child and cry about it often.
Dear S,
Your heart for children is beautiful. 💕 Yes, it’s true that many people don’t appreciate the gift of children, or the gift of being fertile enough to have *more* children, if they let it happen.
However, I know a woman who got married in her late thirties. She and her husband wanted children right away and didn’t do anything to prevent them. Yet, it was seven years before they finally became pregnant. As you can imagine, they are very grateful for that one child.
I also think of Rebecca, Isaac’s wife, who was barren for twenty years, until she became pregnant with Jacob and Esau. That’s a long time to long for a child! And Hannah (mother of Samuel), Elizabeth (mother of John the Baptist), Sarah (mother of Isaac). These were godly women whose faith was certainly tested through this painful situation.
Whatever situation we are in, if we are doing our best to obey God, it is His will for us to be there — His best for us. I don’t understand why God would “complicate” my life with 10 children (eight in the home) and lead me to the edge of my capabilities almost every day. I just have to trust. God is stretching me, forcing me to rely on Him. Through the tears, the frustrations, the stress — everything — I am learning that the only answer has only ever been, is only, and will only ever be, Jesus. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is with us in the storm, calm and in control while we are worrying about things. He is our gentle Shepherd who cares tenderly for all His lambs who believe in Him.
He will carry you through this; continue to put all your trust in Him, and thank Him for everything, everyday. 😊 ☀️
With Christian love,
~Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Thank you for taking the time to reply, and for replying in a way that has bolstered my hope.
Love and prayers,
S
You’re welcome. 😊
I just read this, this morning, and maybe it will encourage you as it did me:
“Any kind of suffering, any kind of bewilderment, any kind of perplexity, anything you want that you don’t have or anything that you don’t want,
God has assigned it.
He has ordained it
for our sanctification.”
-Elisabeth Elliot