My life seems to be composed of a long string of “life markers,” like beads on a string. As I look back on past experiences, whether good or bad, every memory slides further back on the string, making way for new beads, new experiences.
I like to review my life. It gives me a feeling of great satisfaction to know that I’ve surpassed something difficult, learned something essential, or grown beyond my previous limitations. All of my experiences are precious to me. Even the ugly ones. Somehow, strange as it seems, I enjoy remembering the ugly memories just as much as the beautiful ones. Why is that?
I think it’s because I like to remind myself how unlike my former self I now am.
God is taking a weed and transforming it into a lily. A caterpillar into a butterfly. He’s moving me beyond what I used to be, and into what I’m supposed to be. Isn’t that wonderful? That knowledge gives me hope.
And that’s why I like to review the “beads” on my string of life: it shows me that if God can take me as far as He has by now, He’s capable of taking me even farther than this.
So, I enjoy looking at old albums and scrolling through pictures I’ve saved on my computer. My children’s little scribbles from years past bring sighs of nostalgia. Paintings my grandmother and grandfather brushed onto canvas, some of them composed years before I was even born, inspire me to continue on with their legacy; even if not through the visual arts, at least in the ways that God has gifted me. As my husband and I stroll along our neighborhood’s leaf-scattered streets, we reminisce about how we met, and our early life together.
And we weave dreams about the future.
I guess that’s the main value of looking at the past: it propels us into fresh pursuits. If we stayed in the past, whether through nostalgia or through guilt, we wouldn’t do ourselves any favors. But, if we allow those memories to do their work and nudge us into the next step, we gain the benefit I believe God intended those memories to serve.
Recently, I’ve been reviewing all my “old” articles from TRUTH AT HOME. Over a hundred posts later, I’m finally done reviewing, and a little tired. I had to edit everything with one hand while supporting the baby with the other. But, It was also very sweet. It was interesting to see how I’ve changed and improved my writing style a little over the last few years. And yet, I still believe most of the same things I did when I started that blog.
My views on modesty haven’t really changed. Neither have my views on headcovering, childbearing, or homeschooling. The main way I’ve grown, I think, is in the area of patience. I feel that I’m more patient with people than I used to be.
Before, I would get so frustrated at every immodestly-dressed Christian woman, for example. Not that I would ever say anything to her; I would simply feel upset on the inside over the fact that she was showing off her behind to every man in sight. Why would she do that? But now that I’ve come to understand a little more of human nature (including my own nature), I usually give the situation over to prayer–and then let it be. Why waste energy in feeling frustrated over something I can’t change? Instead, I put my efforts into being the person I know God wants me to be, and in encouraging other like-minded ladies through this blog and through my YouTube channel.
(I just finished updating my previous blog, TRUTH AT HOME, and made a list of all my favorite articles for convenience’ sake. You can check it out here.)
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How about you, ladies? Do you have any sort of milestones you like to remind yourselves of, as a sort of self-encouragement to keep on?
What do you feel has helped you the most while growing into the person God wants you to be?
And finally, what sort of memory-keeping tips could you offer: do you use albums, collages, videos, etc.?
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I really look forward to hearing your thoughts on this!
~Jessica
I love the post on the beads as a marker of events in your life. There was a point in my past life where I saw it as beads so I am not alone in that. I’m glad you are not so frustrated about other ladies. Most of the ladies have no idea about doing otherwise. No one has taught them and they haven’t been blessed yet like us by the holy spirit to know to change their ways. I try to be very kind to these ladies and if it is God’s will perhaps they will change as they see me being the best example I can be. The one thing I don’t want these other ladies to relate me to is an angry hateful lady. Maybe if they see me more like how Christ was on Earth, they may ask me and learn how to be more modest and the kind of women God wants all of us ladies to be. I just constantly pray. I gladdens me that you still are modest and being a keeper at home with your children. I’ve known some ladies that left dressing modest and being a keeper at home because they felt like loners. Your giving support to those trying to follow Christ is the greatest thing you can do. IMO
Thank you for your wonderful comment, Amy!
I agree that I don’t want to be thought of as an angry, hateful woman, either! I think it’s best, as you say, to show others an example of joyful obedience and let the Holy Spirit do His work within their hearts. Our loving attitude can help bring about the change God is nudging them to make.
How neat that you used to think of your life in terms of beads on a string, too! Ha, ha, I thought I might be the only one!
~Jessica
Beautiful article.I do not look back my past often,but when I experience time of change, a lot of memories-good or bad come to my mind.I feel nostalgy and feel ‘what a long way I have walked with God’.It is good experience for me,because I can recall how God have done good to me.
Like you,I have been changed a lot. I came not to value things what I thought ‘interesting”important’in my youth,and came to value godly value more.
Our faith journey still goes on.Someday we will look back today.
I expect His plan for us and hope to walk with Him.
God bless you Jessica and thank you for sharing always!
Dear Sanae,
I can relate to what you said about not valuing the things we used to value, and learning to value godly things more. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I’m making much progress in my Christian walk, but when I look back and see how far I’ve come, it is very encouraging! 🙂
~Jessica
-My mile stones are the changes that came along in life. We have moved a few times, death visited our family and changed plans we had. We will move yet another time in the next few months (back to Canada). I dont like those times of change but looking back i now know that with the help of MY Lord i will have the strength for it.
-Related to matters of conviction THE anchor for me was and is the word of God.
Searching for the will of God has ALWAYS to be rooted in the bible.Even if it seems that all my sisters in Christ go the broad(er) road, even if i feel frustrated or like sticking out in a crowd in the end i will have to stand befor God for MY decisions as others will have for theirs.
Jessica , your blog has been a tremendous help in that process. Thank you!
– Memory keeping .: I make photo albums for every family member. A lovely winter chore :-). I also keep a sort of diary where i write down bible verses or Songs that have become important to me.
Always love your Posts 🙂
Dear Ruth,
Your milestones sound similar to mine. I hope your move to Canada goes well! That’s a pretty big change, but as you said, the Lord will give you strength for it. 🙂
I totally agree with you that our anchor must be the word of God; it encourages me to know we think so alike. I’m also glad my blog has been a help to you–and I greatly appreciate all your comments and friendly support!
Your memory recording ideas are great! I’m not too good about keeping up with albums, but I’d like to get better. I know that in the future, I’ll be glad I did. It’s also neat that you keep a diary with verses and songs in it. I haven’t been doing that lately, but I do write little notes to myself in the margins of my Bible. And I guess my blog is a sort of diary. 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing!
~Jessica