An Outpouring of God’s Grace: Birthing Baby #7

Hello, everyone — I finally have some baby news to share!

Our newest little one (#7) was born last week. She is a beautiful little girl, who we decided to name Grace Arely.

Yes, the labor was hard (as I expected it would be), but it wasn’t horrible. I got through it, with God’s help and the support of three wonderful ladies (two midwives and one assistant) plus my incredible husband. It was a water birth at home — my fifth. From start to finish, labor lasted about ten hours.

Actually, it turned out to be easier and faster than what I had been dreading it would be. Strangely enough, though I had experienced labor six times before, I had felt a sense of panic each time I thought of the upcoming birth. I think it was because I had been through it six times before that I felt that way; I knew what was coming! What a relief, then, to find that it was within my ability to endure. Though it was still definitely “labor,” it wasn’t any worse than any of my other births. In fact, I’d learned a few things about how to cope with labor from those previous births that helped me manage this one. Learning how to breathe during contractions and how to take advantage of the rest between them are two of those things.

Coping during the different stages of Labor

I’ve realized that the way God designed labor, each stage decreases in length at the same time it increases in intensity (typically).

The first stage (dilation of the cervix) lasts the longest but is also the least difficult. I use “up and out” breathing during this stage. That’s slow breathing in through the nose while I lift up my ribcage & expand my tummy out like a balloon, and even slower breathing out through the nose (or mouth with lips loose & slightly parted) while I relax my body as much as possible. I like to have a bottle of essential oil (I love Frankincense!) right in front of my nose while I breathe in.

Then comes the next stage (the baby moving down the birth canal), which is more difficult but also lasts less time than the first stage. I automatically switch to “down breathing” in this phase. I say, “automatically,” because it seems I just can’t help it! My uterus muscles contract so strongly that I naturally bear down (though I don’t forcefully push at this time). I still breathe slowly in through the nose and even more slowly out through the mouth, making sure I loosen my lips as the air passes through them. I also do some gentle grunting, with low sounds (the “low” part is important; high sounds tend to make us tense up). This sounds kind of like “Ohhhhhhhhhhh” or “Ooooooooooh” during the out-breath.

The last stage (crowning, and pushing the baby out) is the most difficult, but lasts the least amount of time. I continue using my “down breaths” while bearing down, then actively push while holding my breath for as long as I can when the baby crowns. I may change to a more upright position — gravity helps a lot! Once the baby crowns and I start actively pushing, the baby is usually born after about two or three contractions.

I think God made labor to progress through stages of varying intensity so that we women would be able to bear the process better. He also gave us a time of rest in between contractions, which enables us to meet each one with renewed courage and strength. (At least, this has been my experience.)

So, everything went well, I’m doing well, the baby is doing well, and the rest of the family is doing well!

Reminded of God’s goodness

Grace is God’s precious gift to us, a fresh outpouring of His wonderful grace in our lives.

And not only does she herself represent God’s grace toward my husband and I, personally, in the form of a sweet baby girl, but the process of giving birth to her revealed more to me about God’s grace toward us, generally, as Christians.

I was especially reminded of His goodness during the first part of labor while I was listening to some songs from the YouTube channel Sounds Like Reign. One song in particular, “What Wondrous Love,” penetrated my heart deeply. The words say:

“What wondrous love is this, oh my soul, oh my soul, what wondrous love is this, oh my soul;

What wondrous love is this that calls the Lord of bliss to bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul, to bear the dreadful curse for my soul.

***

When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down, when I was sinking down, sinking down;

When I was sinking down beneath God’s righteous frown, Christ laid aside His crown for my soul, for my soul, Christ laid aside His crown for my soul. 

***

To God and to the Lamb I will sing, I will sing, to God and to the Lamb I will sing;

To God and to the Lamb, Who is the Great I Am, while millions join the theme I will sing, I will sing, while millions join the theme I will sing.

***

And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on, and when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on;

And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing and joyful be, and through eternity I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on, and through eternity I’ll sing on.”

The thought struck me that in a sense, Christ “labored” for us on the cross in order to open up the way for us to be “born again” into God’s family. He didn’t want to go through everything He knew would happen, as evidenced by His “let this cup pass from me” prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, but He chose to go through it anyway for the “joy set before Him”:

^{. . . “}looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:2

Christ bore the dreadful curse for my soul in order to lift me from beneath “God’s righteous frown” (God’s wrath). This meant unimaginable pain and suffering for Him, but so much blessing for me: what wondrous love! If Christ loved me so much that He would lay aside His comfort for my salvation, surely I can surrender my womb to His Lordship so that His plans can have free reign in my life. Surely I can endure labor once more in order to birth a beautiful new human being, masterpieced by God for a high and lofty purpose!

“A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.”

John 16:21

While enduring those early labor contractions, I also remembered that Christian growth in general is never easy; it is like the process of birth, too:

“My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you,”

Galatians 4:19

Growth is painful, but necessary.

Jesus’ death on the cross was painful, but necessary.

Birthing children is painful, but necessary.

And they all lead to joy at the other end! They are all worth it!

Though labor is not something I enjoy while it lasts, at the end of it waits a warm, silky body to hold . . . exquisite, tiny fingers that grasp . . . sweet, satiny hair to caress . . . innocent, trusting eyes to look into for the very first time. The moment the baby is born is like the sun coming out in sparkling glory, surpassing all the pain and discomfort that came before it.

Learning to let go

I was able to endure labor by focusing on “one breath at a time.” I knew the baby would come when it was ready, and though I looked forward to the baby’s arrival, I also tried to avoid thinking about what I would have to go through to get there. I didn’t want to hold back, but neither did I want to rush things; I just tried to let my body do what it needed to do at its own pace. I’m so thankful that God gave me a body that knows how to give birth! I didn’t need to guide it along; I just needed to let it do its job, listen to what it was telling me, and follow its lead. In a sense, labor is “easy”: I don’t have to mastermind the process.

Isn’t that similar to the Christian life? We like to think we have control over our growth as Christians; we think that if we just make the right choices we (and everything else) will turn out the way we hope. And then real life happens. We mess up and realize that we can’t really do this all on our own. It’s when we stop trying so hard to do it all ourselves and start trusting God to be the Mastermind behind the process that things progress as they need to. Not only has God accomplished my salvation through Christ’s death on the cross, He is also actively overseeing my growth as a Christian. As I surrender to His guidance and to the process He has ordained I must go through to become the holy person He wants me to be, that growth is able to happen more “easily” than if I resisted it, or than if I tried to make it happen all by myself.

Life has seasons, some of them tumultuous, some of them restful. All of them are for a purpose. Instead of worrying about what might come next, I’m learning that we just need to take life “one breath at a time.”

~Jessica

Grace Arely