Modesty

Modesty is:

Having enough respect for ourselves and for others to cover up what we could show off . . . if we were more vain.

Agreeing with God that nakedness is shameful.

Adorning our “temples” (bodies) with loveliness and humble dignity.

Loving Jesus more than sexy or stylish outfits; cherishing His word and obeying it.

-Jessica Roldan, The Heavenly Hearth

It is my belief that the way we dress is an extension of what we believe — about ourselves, about our relationship to others, and about God.

As Christian women, dressing modestly through a skirts-and-dresses-only lifestyle carries with it a bold statement, a visible message that we are in agreement with biblical, old-fashioned roles. Old fashioned, but not outdated.

A Subliminal Message

Women of previous decades knew what feminine dress represented, and some fought against it:

By wearing pants, a woman outwardly associated herself with the authority exclusively held by men. In daring to be photographed while wearing trousers, these iconoclasts broke the delicate and fragile mold in which the ideal female image had been made and re-created themselves as autonomous and self-made women.

This brief quotation is from the introduction to the book Women in Pants: Manly Maidens, Cowgirls, and other Renegades (page 17). Clearly, wearing pants became a “thing” for more than practical reasons. Though it is reasonable to dress in non-constrictive, safe, and simple clothing, this does not necessarily mean we must dress like men to do it. There are ways of dressing in a practical, feminine way without wearing pants. It would seem, then, that these mold breakers were rebelling against more than tight corsets; they were rebelling against what they considered restrictive roles.

Ultimately, they were rebelling against God.

What the Bible says about clothing:

Though the Bible does not say the exact words “thou shalt wear skirts and dresses only,” it does tell us to dress modestly–

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel . . . ” (1 Timothy 2:9)

and to be distinctly feminine–

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man . . . ” (Deuteronomy 22:5).

It also equates nakedness with shame–

“I counsel thee to buy of me [Jesus] . . . white raiment, that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear . . . ” (Revelation 3:18)

and our bodies with the temple of God–

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [Spirit] which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

It might be possible to wear pants somewhat modestly and even to look feminine in pants through our appearance overall, but it is wearing modest skirts and dresses that marks us definitively as ladies of old-fashioned values in the strongest way possible.

I do not believe the Bible teaches that men should wear pants and that women should wear dresses; I believe the Bible teaches that we should dress in alignment with who God created us to be, and to do so modestly (meaning without pride, vanity, or in a sexy way). This may look slightly different in diverse cultures. However, the principle of role distiction and sexual propriety remains the same. In our particular Western culture, historically influenced by biblical values, dresses still have meaning. Go to almost any store that sells clothing: will you ever find dresses or skirts in the mens’ department? Never. But you will in the womens’ — because even in our degraded culture, there still remains a glowing ember of sanity, a surviving relic pointing back to the roles we once understood so well.

Why do I choose skirts and dresses only? Because they are the most feminine, and because if worn properly, they can cover up the womanly areas of my body more modestly than pants.

It’s just common sense — common sense that meshes perfectly with divine revelation.

We might ask ourselves:

Is how I’m presenting myself through my behavior, words, and dress an accurate representation of the God Who is in me? Am I showing His holiness? His hatred for sin? His purity? His light? His independence from all that is evil and wrong and twisted? His love for order, which includes an order for our earthly roles?

God covered Adam and Eve with coats of skin to cover their nakedness (Genesis 3:21). Will we now uncover it? Yes, it is true that their clothing was more than just a practical response to their physical condition; it was also symbolic for Jesus covering our sins with His righteousness (Rev. 3:18). Will we now mar that symbolism? We are ambassadors of the message of the cross (2 Cor. 5:20): could we perhaps help to proclaim that message more clearly, highlight it more brightly, announce it more loudly, through how we dress?

If we could, then why not do so?

Our clothing is more than just clothing; it is a message. It says something about who we are and what we believe in. What a privilege to be able to represent the King of Kings! And at the same time — what a huge responsibility! No, we’re not elevating clothing to a salvation issue, and we’re not turning it into an idol. We’re not going to allow ourselves to become tight-lipped, sour-faced, militaristic controllers who march around frowning at everybody and asking them to adhere to a super-strict dress code that only Jesus Himself could follow without receiving our condemnation. No. We’re going to be what truly feminine women are: Gracious.

When we combine modest, caring behavior with modest, feminine dress, flowing from a heart that is motivated by love for God and for others, we can make a powerful, godly impression on our families and on the world around us.

It is most often the little things in life, done with the right attitude over a long period of time, that make the most difference.

bunch of fresh elegant flowers in hands of crop unrecognizable bride

A Conscious Decision

My closet experienced a “radical” transformation in the Spring of 2012. I purged it of most of my pants, leaving only two pairs of jeans for “just in case.” It wasn’t long after that I realized I didn’t need them, since I could do pretty much anything in a skirt or dress. So, I got rid of the two pants and have been fully skirts-and-dresses only ever since (the only exceptions are my pajama pants, and a few leggings and shorts I use under some of my dresses and skirts).

Has it been hard? Not really, no. I find skirts and dresses very comfortable and practical. The hard part has been in feeling alone. Though I may see some ladies at the store who appear to be wearing a skirt or dress as part of their religious beliefs, most Christian ladies I know wear pants. Branching out into the online world has helped me find other ladies who think alike, and we have been able to support each other.

On this blog, The Heavenly Hearth, I will share tips and encouragement for living a feminine, skirts-and-dresses-only lifestyle. Look for these articles on the sidebar of the blog under Categories, or read more about modesty here.

I hope you find encouragement for your modesty journey!

~Jessica

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Modesty Resources

Modest Clothing (skirts & dresses, blouses, layering tops, etc.):

  • Inherit Clothing Company (Variety of modest skirts, dresses, blouses, sweaters, etc.)
  • newCreation Women’s Apparel (Regular and maternity skirts, plus a few accessories such as slips. I have several of Sigrid’s maternity skirts, and I love them (!) and have used them successfully throughout various pregnancies. Very affordable and good quality.)
  • Kosher Casual (Israel-based shop. Skirts, dresses, undershirts, leggings, sports skirts, etc.)
  • Dressing for His Glory (Skirts, skorts, culottes, school uniform skirts, swimwear. High quality and worth the expense. My daughter loves Ceil’s A-line skorts and wears them all the time! I have a couple of her skorts, as well, which I like very much.)
  • Joyfully Sewn Designs (Etsy. Sarah Morris is the owner/seamstress; she is also my Lilla Rose hair accessories stylist! [Her Lilla Rose business is called Simply Feminine.] She offers beautiful, handmade, very modest girls’ clothing. I have had very good experiences working with her [to do reviews] and as a customer. She will also do special requests, so if you see anything you would like in a woman’s size, she may be able to accommodate your special order — just ask!)
  • Phyllis Jean Modest Clothing (I recommend the blouses and nightgowns, which are modest, beautiful, and well-made, but not necessarily the skirts or leggings, which have elastic of an inconsistent quality. It if wasn’t for the elastic I would heartily recommend the skirts and leggings, too, because I like the pattern so much.)
  • Style J Fashion (Denim skirts. Not all of them are modest; you just have to search for ones that are.)
  • The Main Street Exchange (Skirts, skorts, school uniform skirts, dresses, tops, shoes, etc.)
  • Plain Modesty (Free, customizable patterns for sewing your own Mennonite-style cape dresses and jumpers.)

Modest Scrub Skirts (for medical professions):

Modest Swimwear:

  • Dressing for His Glory (My daughter has one of their swim dresses, and we really like it. Various styles. Very well made.)
  • WholesomeWear (Swim dresses in a jumper style with shirt and shorts attached underneath. I bought one for myself, and it fits great! It will be very convenient for nursing, as well.)
  • Cute and Covered (Pre-made swim dresses for Girls 18 mo through Ladies XXL. Option for buying the pattern alone. Swim fabrics and supplies available.)

Books:

Websites: