Our family recently made the switch to a new church. There’s a lot of things about this church that are different from our previous church. As an example of just one thing, about half the women wear a headcovering to the Sunday service, while at our other church, no one except myself covered, as far as I know.
This difference has led me to consider: Why was I the only one covering for 11 years?
I had hoped, all that time, that maybe my example might encourage and embolden other women to begin headcovering. Through reading other women’s headcovering testimonies, I know that this does sometimes happen. So . . . why didn’t it happen with me?
And, what has made it so “easy” for the women (and their husbands) in this new church to accept and embrace headcovering (not from my example, though, since they were already covering when we got there), while the people in our old church were apparently so resistant to it?
As I’ve considered this over the past few months, I’ve come up with a few possibilities. I don’t know for sure if these are the real reasons, but they make sense to me right now. There are three of them.
Your church doesn’t emphasize biblical male/female roles
The symbol of headcovering is based on the principle of headship, right? But if one doesn’t understand the principle, the symbol will have little meaning.
In fact, there will be much confusion about the symbol. Some will think it’s similar to the “oppressive” Islamic hijab; some will think it’s based on Old Testament law; others will think your’e trying to feel holy and set apart, like a nun. These are not the real reasons for biblical headcovering (though it certainly does set us apart), but since many haven’t received strong teaching on biblical male and female roles, when they are confronted with a headcovering woman, they are at a loss to be able to correctly explain it.
Our previous church preached on biblical male/female roles maybe once every few years. I don’t want to seem disrespectful, but isn’t that a bit pathetic? This is one of the most important aspects of daily, practical living, and they failed to address it with boldness and consistency. And when they did address it, it wasn’t approached thoroughly; instead, it was approached almost weakly, with a bit of fear, it seemed to me.
Sure, they didn’t have female pastors, which I’m thankful for. However, regular people need to know how to live their everyday lives. How should women treat their husbands? How should husbands treat their wives? How about men and women in general — in the family, in the church, in the workplace, and in general society? We need practical answers to real-life situations.
I’m so thankful that our present church has strong, clear teaching on these matters.
I believe it is this clear instruction that makes the difference. If people understand the principle behind the symbol, when confronted with the symbol it will make sense to them.
Now, there are some churches that teach boldly on biblical male/female roles and yet do not encourage headcovering. I’m not saying that all churches with good teaching on this topic will automatically also teach headcovering. What I’m saying is that clear teaching on roles should make it easier to understand and accept the reasons for headcovering.
Here’s another reason I believe some churches don’t accept headcovering very easily.
Your church focuses on the gospel, but doesn’t think anything else in the Bible is important
Of course, they will probably say that everything in the Bible is important, to differing degrees. But in a practical sense, that’s not how they treat the Bible. Yes, the gospel is crucial to Christianity and overshadows everything else in importance — I certainly believe that! But the tendency is to overlook the other parts, shrugging them off as not worthy of our attention. Yet think about this: the Bible is God’s word, and since it is, all of it’s important. The gospel is the most important, but that doesn’t make everything else irrelevant, does it?
Actually, all the other stuff helps point to and explain the gospel, in one way or another; it’s all interconnected. Biblical male/female roles point to the gospel. Ephesians 5:22-25 and 32 says,
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her . . . This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
When husbands and wives live their marriages in obedience to God’s word, it provides a beautiful picture of Christ and the church. It provides a gospel picture. That makes biblical male/female roles — and the headcovering symbol which represents those roles — important to the clarity of the gospel, doesn’t it?
But if your church doesn’t emphasize that the gospel is actually taught throughout the whole of Scripture and that all of the Bible’s teaching is necessary, or at least helpful, for us to have an accurate understanding of the gospel — male and female roles included — then there will likely be a problem. Regular churchgoers will not think that things like headcovering matter. In fact, there will be a lot of biblical teachings they will think don’t matter. They probably won’t care much about modesty, either (modesty points to the gospel, too, through the way our bodies are covered by clothing in a way similar to how our sins and shame are covered by Christ).
The gospel is meant to be not just something that brings us salvation when we believe it, but something that changes how we live. We must answer the question: How should we live, as followers of Christ? What does that look like, practically? The Bible answers that question, if we would care enough to pay attention.
And headcovering is just one of the many practical ways we live out a representation of the gospel in our everyday lives.
Your church has an end-times view that is negative towards trying to change/Christianize the culture
This may be the most controversial of the reasons why I think you’re still the only headcovering woman in your church. Please know that I’m not pushing one end-times view over another. My whole life I’ve been pre-tribulational and pre-millenial. For the first time I’m being exposed in a significant manner to another view (post-millenial), and I’m not sure what I think of it.
The pre-tribulational view is that believers will be raptured before the seven years of the tribulation (God’s judgment on the world). Pre-millenialism is the belief that Christ will return directly after the tribulation to set up His 1,000-year reign. This takes a literal view of the events described in Revelation.
Post-millenialism is the belief that Christ will return after Christians have prepared the world for His second coming by essentially Christianizing the world. This takes an allegorical view of many (though not all) of the events described in Revelation.
Now, the pre-mils tend to have a negative view towards making any lasting and effective changes in the world, since it’s all going down anyways. So, for example, having a large family — why? If Christ comes back tomorrow, leaving a family legacy will be meaningless. Besides, as things get progressively worse in society before the rapture, it will be a horrrible place to raise children. And, shouldn’t we be investing our time in reaching out with the gospel message in order to save as many people as possible before the tribulation — not on having more children? Similarly, headcovering may be seen as just a silly waste of time when there are so many pressing needs in a decaying world.
However, the post-mils tend to have an optimistic view towards making lasting and effective changes in the world. They acknowledge that physically, this world is certainly decaying. However, they believe that the goal to “make disciples of all the nations” (Matthew 28:19 NASB) will actually be accomplished before Christ’s return. Christianizing society — in time and with persevering effort — is seen as a do-able and realistic goal. So having a large family is good! As we raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, they can help in the work of taking dominion. Headcovering, likewise, is not silly at all, but a tool to correctly understand and symbolize biblical male and female roles in a society that desparately needs guidance.
The way your church views the end times will most likely affect how they view headcovering.
However, as a pre-mil traditionally, I can’t say that I myself have ever adopted a completely negative view towards making changes in the world; my opinion has always been that we are to occupy until Jesus comes (Luke 19:13), meaning we need to live meaningfully for Jesus in all the ways the Bible describes, whether the rapture comes tomorrow or not.
Yes, society is going downhill. True, many changes we would like to see accomplished may not happen as a result. However, isn’t there a benefit to trying? Not because we’re all about “social justice” as opposed to the gospel, but because Jesus said to not only preach the gospel, but also to “make disciples.” And disciples have to be taught to observe all things Jesus has commanded (Matthew 28:20). Including headcovering.
Concluding thoughts
Since headcovering is in the Bible, God must consider it to be useful. If you’re still the only one headcovering in your church, it’s probably not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s not because you’re silly and have a shallow theological understanding of things. I may not know you personally, but I doubt that you’re legalistic and “holier than thou.” There are perhaps several factors that have contributed to this situation; I’ve given three possibilites above, though there may be others. For example, your pastor may simply have a different interpretation of the headcovering passage (that the covering is long hair, or that it was just cultural, among other viewpoints). The thing I want to encourage you to do is not give up! To the physical eye, you may not appear to be making any difference, but to the spiritual eye, your obedience in doing good will reap a harvest in due time, if you do not lose heart (Galatians 6:9).
~Jessica
Hello Jessica.
I appreciate your sharings.
I have worn a head covering for many, many years and im the only one who does in the whole world wide denomination that I have joined myself up to.
The dear ladies , world wide in the church, do not cover their heads because a body of men say that 1 Corinthians 11 means long hair is the covering. So all the ladies and girls have beautiful long hair ( this is a church rule ), which other men apart from their husband’s look at and enjoy 🫣 🤔. This begs many questions.
The scripture mentions angels in the text when it talks about covering. This is more important than what many have understood it to mean and a deep study of the ramifications of angels and worship shows just how serious a thing it is.
Many years ago, the Holy Spirit convicted me to cover.
I listened to that conviction .
I’m blessed I did and even though I’m the only one, I don’t actually care, because its all about Him, and obeying His word.🙏
I cover full time because the scriptures tell us to pray without ceasing. I talk to my Heavenly Father many times during the day, about all sorts of things , so I cover.
My husband has never had a problem with it and actually encourages it because he said that its about being obedient to God and thats all that matters.
Bless you dear Jessica.
Sincerely,
Fönn Bathsheba Mills.
Hello, Fönn,
Thank you for all that you shared! I’m so encouraged to see your dedication to God’s word, despite being in the “minority” with headcovering. So wonderful to hear from you!
~Jessica
I admit it can be very discouraging for me to be the only woman who head covers and also wears dresses and skirts only There had been one other woman coming for awhile but her husband wanted to go to another church.
Unfortunately most pastors don’t believe women should cover anymore. I’m not sure why though. I know if some recommended the women cover their heads there would be a mass exodus.
Anyway, how are you? I thought about you guys about a month or two ago because Have pal College had this Evening of S.T.A.R.S. presentation that my daughter Shannon was a part of and we saw Phoenix’s name in the program. I got excited because I hoped to see you all but you guys weren’t there.
Well its good to hear from you.
Hi, Regina,
I was so happy to get your message; I love to hear from you! Yes, I totally understand what you mean when you say it can be discouraging to be the only headcovering woman in your church. You are a great example of enduring commitment to obeying God’s word, and I’m so thankful for the way God has encouraged me through you.
We’re doing well. I think you already know we’re expecting our tenth? The baby will be born sometime in the next few weeks.
Phoenix works at the college doing tech and theater setup, so he helps with a lot of the presentations. How neat that you saw and recognized his name in the program! I’ve actually never heard of Evening of STARS, but I hope Shannon had a wonderful time participating!
I hope your family is doing well. 🙂
~Jessica
It is such a JOY to head cover! I praise God for teaching me about this tradition from His word! I have NEVER heard a Pastor teach in person on the reason for head covering, but only on the reasons not to (“long hair is the covering”) an it saddens me because of the peace that obedience to God brings. Our sisters in Christ and their husbands are missing out on a common joy from such a “peculiar” thing! The symbol has caused me to take notice of my heart in submitting to God’s holy design in all of the ways you mentioned in this article! We will not lose heart! HE IS RETURNING SOON!!
Hi, Tara,
Wow, I love your enthusiasm! It’s so wonderful to see how you joyfully headcover, even though you’ve not personally heard it preached from the pulpit. Yes, I agree, headcovering definitely brings some beautiful blessings with it!
~Jessica
I don’t head cover, mainly because it’s not expected of Lutherans AFAIK (or Catholics, I was raised Catholic). But, much to my and Brian’s joy, Lutherans DO take the WHOLE Bible seriously.
I hope your pregnancy is going well Jessica, and that your husband (and the husbands of all the ladies here) had a wonderful Father’s Day.
Thank you, Courtney, for your well-wishes for myself and my family! I hope your husband had a wonderful Fathers’ Day, too. 🙂
Yes, the pregnancy is going well. Sometime within the next few weeks the baby will be born . . .
Headcovering: Of course, another reason why some churches don’t teach headcovering is simply because they’ve adopted another interpretation (it was cultural, it’s the hair, etc.). And it’s perfectly fine to have differing interpretations — as long as we remain open to further discussion and study.
After all, even our respected leaders are fallible and can make mistakes in interpretation sometimes. That’s why I appreciate how many church leaders of the past believed in a literal headcovering: when many people have the same interpretation, it *can (though not always) show that that interpretation is probably correct. Our modern era with all its teaching against headcovering is actually the exception, while the general rule for almost 2,000 years of church history was that women were required to wear a literal headcovering in church. 🙂
Many women headcover even though their church or denomination does not require it. They do it out of personal conviction, from their own study. Plenty of pastors are fine with that. Personally, if you don’t choose to headcover, that’s okay with me. My hope, though, is that we would try to understand this issue the best we can, so we can make sure we truly are making the right decision, not just going with the flow. 🙂
I appreciate your message and the thoughts you’ve shared!
~Jessica
I am the only woman who covers at my Lutheran (LCMS) church. I was, however, told one Sunday morning by an elderly man that he remembers when there used to be a basket of coverings in the back of the church for those who forgot to bring one, and mentioned how he loved the “shawls” and hats his wife used to wear to church.
I know some ladies chose to cover all the time. I only wear mine during service. I haven’t started wearing it to Bible study yet. After just a year of covering, it feels very weird to attend a divine service without it (because I have forgotten them a few times). I will sometimes cover at home. I started to wear a cover during family devotions just last night.
I felt convicted that we as Christian women collectively had very bad reasons to stop this practice. It’s because of feminism and fashion. What have either of those done to enhance our faith and families? It’s my way to say (to those around me and to myself, because I need the reminder, too) that I accept God’s design–especially in this world running madly away from God’s design–what God made is good, after all. The man is the head of the wife. It also is a reminder that Christ is the head of the church, and we are His bride.
Hi Angie! Fun to meet a fellow LCMSer! My congregation doesn’t head cover. Maybe I should blaze a new trail?
Hi, Angie!
I just want to encourage you–I grew up in LCMS schools and churches, and I know head covering would have been considered extreme in all of them, so I can imagine how difficult it may be for you. You are not alone, even though it sometimes might feel that way.
Thank you for sharing that story about the elderly man in your church. It is very affirming. Most people don’t realize we are not that far removed from a day when head covering was common, and often, expected. An Indian friend from my church told me when he met me that all the women in India cover in church.
I, too, have forgotten to cover once or twice, and would have liked to have had a basket of spares available! I definitely felt underdressed!
Hi Jessica,
I just want to thank you for your blog and resources on biblical femininity, etc. I found you through the head covering movement website as I recently started covering during church gatherings and I am devouring all the information I can find. Over the last year, my husband and I also had a shift in thinking of end-times and the Kingdom, from pre-mill to post-mill. It really is all about learning how to read our Bibles and understanding how God relates to His people through covenant. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it, haha. Eschatology is important and impacts so many aspects of our Christian life. Some excellent resources on studying this view of end times would be reading or listening to Kenneth Gentry (his commentary on revelation is great), Jeff Durbin, Douglas Wilson, RJ Rushdoony, as well as many puritan scholars and of course this was the view held by the early church so there are tons of helpful literarry works available. I just want to encourage you that you are a much needed resource for wives, mommas and women so I hope you’ll continue to share! Keep seeking truth and we know our Lord is faithful to teach us as we humble ourselves before the scripture and submit to the Holy Spirit.
Love in Christ.
Hi, Sky,
Thanks for sharing those resources with me! I definitely would like to learn more — just has to be little by little because I’m always so busy with my family.
How wonderful to hear that you’ve started headcovering, and I’m so glad that my blog has been helplful to you! 🙂
~Jessica
In Japan except few evangelical churches,headcovering teaching seems not to be heard.Our church teaches role of male /female in the bible,but not about headcovering. I am the only one housewife in my church and the only one to cover my head.Fortunately no one is claiming about that.
It is so nice that half of your new church ladies wear headcovering …I hope and pray that your church life at new church be blessed and fruitful one.
Recently I joined HCM facebook group to read other lady’s post.And I saw you on the podcast video.Please take care and God bless you always !
Thank you for your kind words, Sanae!
I understand about being the only headcovering woman at church, as you know. It can be discouraging at times, but I’m glad to hear that no one has made an issue about it in your church — that certainly makes things a little easier. I’m impressed that you’ve continued faithfully covering — and following God’s model for male and female roles — all these years. You’re faithfulness and gentle obedience are an inspiration to me! 🙂
~Jessica
This was such a great post, Jessica! Thank you for writing.
Good note about the pre-mill v. post-mill. I’m not in either camp right now, personally, but I have seen that a pre-mill viewpoint is destructive as a social force within the church – because when things are getting worse, the pre-mill will (1) not want to do anything about it, believing a downward slide to be inevitable, and (2) actually enjoy it a bit as a thrill-ride, as in “oh boy, it’s really getting to be end-times now!” I’m not saying that to be insulting to the pre-mills. I came to Christ through Calvary Chapel, which is totally pre-trib/pre-mill, so I was in that camp for many, many years. But right or wrong, I do now think that it is not a positive force in its effects. As you say, the post-mill view encourages a more hopeful view of things, and also encourages Christians to be much more active in the world in seeking to do good (apart from just preaching you-should-repent-now messages, which are good, but incomplete).
Also, you are so right in your assessment of churches being weak in gender roles. Even conservative churches often have a weak and watery take on that. It’s sad, because when churches don’t step up, feminism is the default, and destruction ensues.
Also, good note on the “gospel and nothing else” churches. They usually get away from hard issues by saying “yes, but we are a GOSPEL-centered church.” (We briefly attended a church that got out of every sin-based problem by saying “yes, but we are a GRACE-based church,” which was a similar side-step). This can be incredibly destructive, as well as stunting to the growth of church members who would otherwise need to wrestle with the tough issues and perhaps grow a bit.
I can see that on this issue I’ve moved in basically four steps:
– I grew up in a church in which head-covering was never thought of, because the Bible was completely disregarded as an outdated, written-by-men book.
– When we married, I moved into the conservative churches that were amazingly better, but still weak, and when I started practicing headcovering, I was the only one and stayed the only one.
– Then we moved into a super-conservative, mainly homeschooling, family-integrated church, and one-third of the women practiced headcovering. (Don’t be too impressed – that was a grand total of two women, myself and one other.) I think it would have been more, but the pastor’s wife came down heavily on the anti-headcovering side, so that put a damper on things.
– Now we are in a church in which headcovering is 100%, as are skirts/dresses only and being open to children. It’s awesome.
Great points!!
Thanks for sharing those great thoughts, Diana! I enjoyed hearing your experience and perspective on these issues.
I’m so happy to hear that you and your family are now attending such a wonderful-sounding church! You don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable sharing (or you can just send me an email, if you prefer), but what is the name of this awesome new church, and where is it located?
~Jessica
Sure thing! I’ll email you, Jessica! 🙂
Hi Diana.
You hit the nail on the head: “feminism is the default.” Even in churches that preach more traditional, Biblical roles for men and women, the cultural influence of feminism still informs a lot of thinking on these matters. I think for many people, head covering is something they don’t even begin to consider simply because it’s not common and they don’t see it or hear it preached. I often wonder what would be preached in my church if we ever cover 1 Corinthians 11. I’ve been there for over three years and thus far it has not been addressed. But the Spirit of God stirs where He will; He has a way of reaching hearts regardless of what is or isn’t declared in church or culture.
How beautiful to be in a church that encourages families and head covering! Sometimes both are equally rare!
Dear Jessica,
Thank you so much for the sharing of your thoughts. In our church we are now three sisters who cover. And I did not advertise.
Nevertheless, I am still convicted that it is good to remain under our heavenly Father’s authority; and He happened to speak about headcovering, so why should we argue? Here two versse from Psalm111:
“The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy,
they are established for ever and ever, to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.”
God bless you!
Marguerite
Dear Marguerite,
Yes, that verse is a perfect fit for this topic! Amen!
It’s so good to hear your thoughts on this. It is always encouraging to hear from faithful and committed Christian sisters who joyfully cover, even if they are the only one, or one of the few, in their church who covers. I’m so happy to hear that now there are three women who cover in your church!
~Jessica
May I ask what church you’ve found? We’ve been searching for a like-minded church and not really having much luck. I’d even be happy to fellowship with a church not nearby if we could attend Sundays via streaming. It’s not the same of course, but it’s better than nothing.
I’ve been covering for 12 years and I’m usually either the only one or in the minority as well. I believe our culture of fitting in with the majority has a lot to do with it also. No one wants to be different and everyone wants to look like everyone else. Everyone wants to be “unified” even if they’re “unified” in error. As long as the majority concludes that it’s “not necessary”, no one will find it necessary to investigate the text. My congregation was completely satisfied to hear that both our ministers believed you didn’t have to do it, even though they believed in different reasons why they didn’t believe you didn’t have to do it.
It’s an absurd game of ‘majority rules’ within the church, but they will never admit that. Even though Paul’s reasons are age lasting, divine and sacred, churches in our area will not cite or use Paul’s reasoning, but instead look to culture for their support to dismiss this passage. It’s a sad reality.
Obedience to God and eternity with my Lord is much more important than fitting into the crowd here on earth.
Hi, Mandy,
I agree with your message, since I’ve seen the same trend. Yes, as you say, many people want to be unified by fitting in with the majority, even if they’re unified in error — good point! Thank you for taking the time to share these thoughtful observations. Let’s pray together that within the church, God will change hearts and turn them toward obedience to His Word.
~Jessica
Any baby news Jessica? :). Brian’s school year is ready to start.
Yes! The baby was born July 14. Everything went well, and she is healthy and gaining weight!
OMG! That’s wonderful news Jessica! Congratulations! Hopefully you can post her birth story when you feel up to it.
Thanks! Yes, I plan on posting her story sometime soon.
It can be hard to be the only one year after year. Praise God my daughter and I have had each other–until recently another woman in our church started covering, too! It does happen:)
Thankfully we haven’t ever had anyone challenge us on it or try to argue over it, but I am different from others in my church in several ways, so perhaps people just think it’s all part of my *uniqueness.* Praying God’s peace over all of you answering God’s call in your lives with humility and obedience. This is precious in His sight.
Thank you, Stephanie! What an encouragement to read your reminder that our humble obedience is precious to God. I like to imagine that He is smiling down on us when we obey Him out of love.
I’m happy to hear that you and your daughter cover! So good to be able to meet another headcovering woman. 😊
~Jessica