Just the other day, I received an interesting piece of mail. Actually, it was a normal piece of mail with an interesting focus story.
This month’s (June 2021) Dell Technologies product catalog (they sell computers) featured a small business Dell has partnered with. The small business is “Just Us at Oasis Center, a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth in Nashville. This collection of programs housed within a larger youth-serving agency, provides students with a liberating place where they can be authentic and celebrate the fluidity of identity.” I think Dell featured this small business in their catalog because of June being Pride month. Here is their website: justusoasis.org
The Just Us Goals and Philosophy
I was curious to learn more, so I looked up the Just Us site.
On their About page:
“In 2011, Oasis Center launched ‘Just Us’ to provide LGBTQ+ youth with a safe and affirming space to feel validated for their authentic selves and to learn how to use their voices to create change. Through open dialogue, small group discussions, individual interviews, and anonymous surveys, Oasis Center was able to identify eight target areas that would become our focus for creating positive change in Middle Tennessee. Our goal is to partner and collaborate with other LGBTQ+ agencies, service providers, and entities that are currently working within each of the target areas and to build alliances that further our efforts to end disparities for LGBTQ+ youth. These eight areas of focus are:
- Self Acceptance & Empowerment
- Safe & Accepting Schools
- Family Acceptance
- Peer & Adult Education
- Open & Affirming Faith Community
- Civil & Human Rights
- Access to Quality Healthcare
- Access to Safe Housing“
And from their Programs page (Just Us highschool program):
“Just Us is a youth empowerment program that meets weekly for high school students who identify somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Each week we spend time getting to know one another and engage in facilitated conversations in relevant and current topics for LGBTQ+ youth. Our goal is to be happy, healthy, and liberated to be our authentic selves!”
A Recurring Theme
Did you notice a recurring theme? I noticed the phrase, Authentic Self.
What is our “authentic self”? This is something many people would say is “who you feel you are.” That sounds like pretty shaky ground! I feel different things throughout the day, not all of them good or reliable. Some of them lead to actions I later regret, though I may feel justified in the moment. Looking back on my youthful past, I made many decisions based on misguided feelings, which I’m certainly NOT proud of and which did not help me at all.
Let’s compare this idea of a gender-fluid “authentic self” to a biblical perspective of sexuality:
- The only legitimate marriage, based on the creation ordinance in Genesis 1 and 2, sanctioned by God is the joining of one naturally born man and one naturally born woman in a single, exclusive union as delineated in Scripture. God intends sexual intimacy to only occur between a man and a woman who are married to each other and has commanded that no sexual activity be engaged in outside of a marriage between a man and a woman. Any form of sexual immorality, such as adultery, fornication, prostitution, homosexuality, lesbianism, bisexual conduct, bestiality, incest, pornography, abuse, or any attempt to change one’s gender, or disagreement with one’s biological gender, is sinful and offensive to God (Genesis 1:27–28, 2:24; Matthew 5:27–30, 19:4-5; Mark 10:2–9; 1 Corinthians 6:9–11; 1 Thessalonians 4:3–7; Hebrews 13:4).
- Gender and biological sex are equivalent and cannot be separated. A person’s gender is determined at conception (fertilization), coded in the DNA, and cannot be changed by drugs, hormones, or surgery. Rejection of one’s biological sex (gender) or identifying oneself by the opposite sex is a sinful rejection of the way God made that person. These truths must be communicated with compassion, love, kindness, and respect, pointing everyone to the truth that God offers redemption and restoration to all who confess and forsake their sin, seeking his mercy and forgiveness through Jesus Christ (Genesis 1:26–28, 5:1–2; Psalm 51:5, 139:13–16; Jeremiah 1:5; Matthew 1:20–21, 19:4–6; Mark 10:6; Luke 1:31; Acts 3:19–21; Romans 10:9–10; 1 Corinthians 6:9–11; Galatians 3:28).
[From the Answers in Genesis Statement of Faith]
According to a biblical definition of our “authentic self,” we are who God made us to be biologically, and that is something we can not change because it is coded in our DNA.
Think about this: If your authentic self is who you feel you are, then sadly, you are living in a fantasy of what you would like to be true, because reality is actually who you were born to be. This is obvious by looking at body parts: What do we say when a baby is born? “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” Our gender is apparent from birth. It’s not who we feel we are; it’s who we are. That is our authentic self.
If you take a look at the Just Us website, it appears so professional and caring! I don’t doubt that the founder and staff all believe they are doing what’s right. I understand why they would feel that anybody who doesn’t support the LGBTQ+ community is hindering the advancement of our society and damaging the members of that society. I don’t doubt their sincerity.
The thing I doubt is that they are living according to reality.
Reality can’t be what we make it. It just is. If you were born a girl, you’re a girl. If you were born a boy, you’re a boy. You can’t take back what God made, not ultimately. Now, you may not like it, you may not agree with it, but God made His choice about your gender when He created you. And that’s that.
You are not an accident! I am not an accident! I know God made me a woman for a reason, and that knowledge strengthens me.
It should be apparent by now that the real issue at stake is not the surface issue of “Who I (think I) am” but the root issue of “Who God is.” Is God Creator? Did He make the world? Is the Bible the authentic Word of God and without error? If we figure those things out, then we will be able to figure out the other one of who we are.
Evolution (if it were, by some fantastic stretch of logic, true) creates only accidents; God creates things for a reason. If you believe in evolution, there is no reason for you to believe that you have any permanent purpose other than as a stepping stone to evolution’s next big development. Your gender is just nature’s way of tricking you: “You were born a boy, but you feel you’re a girl–what a nasty trick I (nature) have played on you!” You’re basically stuck inside a partly-mutated, on-the-way-to-something-higher, in-between form. It’s a crusty mold you’d like to break out of, but evolution’s too slow, so you try and speed up the process by acting as if evolution’s next step has already happened (some kind of future gender morphing which facilitates being homosexual).
Truly Empowering Authenticity
When you can accept the real you God created, irregardless of your feelings, then you will be on the road to emotional and mental stability, and to true empowerment. Yes, we may have sinful tendencies which need to be dealt with, feelings that lead us in the wrong direction (anger, unforgiveness, lust, and envy are examples of feelings which lead us astray and that we should not give in to; homosexual feelings should be dealt with in the same way, according to the Bible, which says engaging in homosexual acts is a sin). But, God, if we personally accept His Son Jesus as Savior, can help us overcome those. Maybe not all at once, maybe not entirely in this life. But, there will be progress; we don’t have to give up in defeat and surrender to our feelings.
Just Us wants to help youth explore and affirm their so-called “authentic selves,” apart from what God’s Word says. I offer what I believe to be a better goal:
Let’s help each other be who God created us to be biologically, our truly authentic selves.
Since this is such an important issue in our society today, I will be dedicating some of my future posts to it. This new category will be named, “Authentic, Biblical Self.”
True, biblical womanhood accepts and embraces the biological sex we were born with and the female role God designed for us. This is our identity, according to the Bible, our anchor in an unstable society.
Not only do we uphold and model true, biblical womanhood, we uphold and support true, biblical manhood. Is this all that I am? A woman? No; first of all, I’m a Christian. But, being a woman is a huge part of my identity, and I function here on earth as a woman.
Can we uphold biblical womanhood without being meanies? Yes, we can. We can live the truth, and tell the truth, and uphold the truth in a gracious, loving way. Just remember: There is a psuedo love, which opposes the truth, and a true love, which leads people TO the truth so they can discover what God says is true about them. The truth is liberating! It is only damaging when we resist it.
“Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. They answered him, We be Abraham’s seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free? Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.“ John 8:31-36
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- When did you (as a biological female) first realize with conviction that you were a woman, that God had created you this way for a purpose? How did that knowledge influence your life’s future direction?
- Is there a way we can tell the truth and still be loving? Could you give some example scenarios of how this might look like in real life, along with some tips?
- What is your reaction to the Just Us goals and philosophy?
- What advice, based on the Bible, would you give to young people dealing with homosexual feelings?
~Jessica
THANK YOU JESSICA! It is VITALLY important that we do all we can to reject anti-religious messages and all these “live and let live, do whatever you want” philosophies. I’m glad you’re leading your children down the True path to Godliness.
You’re welcome, Courtney!
The way I see it, the idea of “gender fluidity” is basically an *outworking* of the false religion of evolutionism/atheism/humanism. As a religious view, it needs to be confronted (lovingly but honestly and factually) at the level of its religious assumptions (there is no God; if He does exist, the Bible is not His infallible Word and is wrong when it speaks out against homosexuality) and at the level of its denial of natural, biological truths. This (humanism, along with all its outworkings) is one of the greatest religious deceptions of our time, despite the fact that it masquerades as a non-religion! It comes with a complete system of what it supposedly means to “be good,” to “love your neighbor as yourself,” to “find true meaning,” along with all its false idols (humanity, self, technological advancement, anti-God “science,” materialism), etc. It also opposes other religious ideas with great zeal and labels them as “wrong” and “false” (ironically, for a belief system which says there are no absolute morals).
But in the sense that it is anti-Christian, yes it IS a form of anti-TRUE religion.
You’re right, we are trying very hard to train our children to recognize the difference between truth and error. I agree that it is absolutely vital.
Thank you for your feedback! I really appreciate it!
~Jessica
You’re welcome! You PERFECTLY summarized what is wrong with our modern world view! I fervently hope we return to Biblical-centered, Godly values.
Thank you Jessica for being brave enough to speak on this topic. Frankly I’m tired of the them having this “victim” mentality and everyone is against them. A good book to read is Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry. Jackie is a former lesbian who was rescued by the Lord from the homosexual lifestyle.
We have a young family member who has proclaimed herself a lesbian for some reason. She claims to be a Christian but she refuses to open her eyes to the truth of what the Bible says and her mother is beside herself with grief.
Hi, Regina!
Thank you for the book tip–I will have to write that down so I can look it up later!
I’m sorry to hear about that young family member. Keep on praying and never give up hope!
~Jessica
What a great post.
I think it is vitally important that young people, especially, have godly people speaking into their lives. Sometimes, the Lord makes that possible when our own children befriend others and bring them into our homes. However, I think much of this good work falls on the shoulders of those who’ve already raised their children – and those who don’t yet have children.
I remember my teen years being ones of trying to figure out who I was and what I believed/wanted from life. I think God designed us that way. However, between public school, mothers out of the home, the prevalence of screen time, and our siloed church bodies, young people are left to find their way among wolves. (Insert my plea for the older generations to snap put of the retirement/cruise boat perspective and get back in the fight and love and mentor the younger generations.)
It was really a body of believers with a core group of women in the Church who stayed home (though no others homeschooled….but that did mean that many had time to invest in others) who helped me see God’s calling for wives and mothers. (I was already married when I came to worship with this wonderful church body, but a more accurate statement would be that they helped me to see that God calls women to be wives and mothers.) I was raised in a somewhat feminist home (as I believe most of us raised by Boomers were) that believed in God. Higher education was highly valued and so I (along with all of my siblings) was expected to go to college but understood my parents could not afford it. Like my older brother, I chose the military as a way to achieve a college education. I excelled in the military – which further confused my “what should a woman be” questions. It was a few years after I got out of the Army…now a wife and mother pursuing that “necessary” college degree … that I met that body of believers. Within a year I withdrew from school, withdrew my nomination to be a US Senate aide, and began doing childcare on my home to be able to afford to be there. I was convinced from Scripture that this was where I needed to be, but my heart also confirmed it every day. So much so that I didn’t bat an eye when no one in my family understood or supported what I was doing. (When I announced, shortly before I left school, that I was expecting their second grandchild, one of my parents actually expressed disappointment for how this would negatively impact my life! They have since changed their tune and consider the 6 grandchildren I have contributed to the family to be incredible blessings.)
As far as speaking the truth in love, I am completely convinced that successful conversations on these topics happen in loving relationships. Had I not known, respected, and seen the fruit in their own lives, I’m not sure how receptive I would have been to much teaching by my Christian friends when I was finding my way to true Christian womanhood 30 years ago. I also think Rosaria Butterfield’s excellent book (doctrinal beliefs not withstanding), _The Gospel Comes with a Housekey_ gives great examples of this method. In the event you’re unfamiliar with her, she was an “out, Lesbian, professor” when a pastor responded to a letter she wrote to her local paper criticizing the recent Christian men’s gathering in her town. She said she was used to hate mail and praise mail, but she didn’t know how to categorize his letter. It was neither. The book is well worth reading, but the happy ending to that story is that she is now a happy, homeschooling mother of 4, and a pastor’s wife. She gives many examples of how we speak the truth in love to lives we are invested in. (I realize you asked for examples and I truly cannot do justice to the book, but one is example is her own slow conversion: the pastor invited her for dinner. He had an open door/table policy and all were welcome. She said she left after the first (of many) dinner feeling like chopped liver because he didn’t invite her to church or try to convince her her lifestyle was wrong. He just treated her like a person worthy of love and respect because she was made in the image of God – and so welcome at his table. The transformation came through many conversations and as she became convinced he was “the real deal” and she wanted the peace and joy modeled in his home. I can say that the biggest “in” those early Christian friends had with me was that I was witness to their gloriously happy and God-loving homes. l wanted what they had.
Those are the approaches I take with all people – those who are caught up in sin…and those who don’t appear to be. I love them, invest in them, and speak into their lives in word and deed as the opportunities come.
I would also like to point out that, while I don’t believe you are this way, Jessica, I think many Christians can get “wrapped around the axle” about transgenderism and homosexuality (which are, indeed, sins) and turn a blind eye to other sins – heterosexual sin as well as non-sexual sin. I have relationships with non-Christians as well as Christians. There are people who are dear to me who are former Christians. I even care very much for a client/friend who is Lesbian. Over and over I see that these good people recognize our hypocrisy. So, I strive to recognize the sin all around us and among us and not sugarcoat it – I strive to recognize and put to death all my own hypocrisy so that I can have credibility with these people who either don’t know the Lord or have been turned off by His people. (Or, people who profess to be His.) My experience is that this goes a long way in being able to speak into their lives, and to truly hear their perspective so that I can reason together with them and tell them about my Lord.
Again, a great post – because I think we all need to be talking about the sin around us and how we can encourage those caught up in sin to forsake it for Someone greater than their wildest dreams for this life.
Hi SBS,
First: THANK YOU for serving! I TOTALLY relate to your background. I had the same experience growing up. My parents were bemused by my religiosity and only saw my college choice in financial terms.
I wanted to clarify something I didn’t catch before I posted my comment above. I refer to people in my life who either don’t know the Lord or have left Him as “good people.” I don’t mean to say that these are “saved people” – but I mean “good” as opposed to how we Christians sometimes think of those in the groups I mentioned.
In my personal experience with the many Christians I am around, sometimes those of the sexual persuasions I mentioned…sometimes those of a politically liberal persuasion…sometimes those who are critical of the church after leaving her…well, sometimes they are truly demonized by Christians I know and love. Many Christians I know act as though all transgendered or homosexual people are disgusting and thoroughly wicked. I personally know and love people who believe that everyone “on the Left is evil.”
I am juxtaposing against that perspective .
When I refer to my friends that I described above as “good people”, I mean that they are loving, generous, kind, law-abiding people. That they are truly friends to me. I mean that some of them display Christian love and generosity more than many Christians I know.
So, to be clear, I do not claim they are saved or in a right position before God. My intention is to say that these are not evil or bad people in the common use of those words. Indeed, they are “better” people than many of my brethren when it comes to love and gentleness.
Sorry for the monologue there. I know that calling anyone “good” is a hot doctrinal subject in some circles – and I know that even outside of that particular theological debate, calling lost people “good” could be confusing.
It is possible to not break the law and still not be the Christisn you need to be. These sexual others are NOT living in accordance with the Lord. I’m totally comfortable calling them “bad”, I don’t think “evil” is the right word, though.
Hi Courtney!
I agree with your comment about living a sinful life being bad. I just only trying to clarify that when I used the phrase “good people” in my original post, I didn’t mean “saved people.” I know that it could come across that way.
Hello, SBS-
Thank you for sharing your testimony about how you came to understand God’s will for women! I’m so impressed with the transformation God worked in your life–that’s wonderful!
I also want to thank you for the book recommendation–I’ll have to look that up soon!
Your thoughts on how to approach this topic (gender) with others are great. I read the other comments you wrote for clarification, and they make a lot of sense. Thank you for investing so much time in this conversation! You have given us all a lot of food for thought!
~Jessica
Thank you for your response, Courtney. I love that we share the same background – it’s nice to talk with someone who can relate!
Thank you for this post! It breaks my heart how the youth are being seduced into thinking they can be something our awesome Lord did not make them to be. I am one who comes from a broken marriage because my spouse “decided” he wanted to be gay. Our two children suffered from this as they were in their teens. My daughter has been lesbian for over ten years. Nobody talks about how this kind of situation can tear apart a family, and the extreme pain and confusion it causes especially upon children. When my marriage ended, I began a support group for other spouses who were in this same situation. It was heart breaking to hear how their precious families were torn apart with confusion. I also want to add that I watched a British documentary not long ago about a young 18 year old girl who had a sex change operation. It was so unnatural and she almost died in the process and experienced so much pain. Upon leaving the hospital ( and given the risks after her surgery, which were many) she proclaimed “I am FREE now!” I truly wept for this young woman. If our youth stray from Biblical truth, there are so many dangers and deceptions. May our Lord Jesus Christ have mercy upon them and their decisions.
I can’t agree more! All this “sexual liberation” has only led us away from our Godly design. I too feel,sad for these ruined families.
Dear Cynthia,
I’m so sorry about all you have gone through. I think it’s wonderful that you started a support group for families in similar situations! Yes, the lie of gender fluidity is very destructive. Good is called bad, and bad is called good:
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” Isaiah 5:20
~Jessica