Should I Use Birth Control if I Have Health Risks?

The question of whether or not using birth control is allowable for health risks is very common, I think. From within the community of generally conservative Christians who normally don’t believe in using birth control, I have heard from multiple women asking me about this.

Though it took me about a month to write this article, it has actually been several years in the making. It is the accumulated result of the many conversations I’ve had with various women on this topic in the past. I’ve had years to consider those conversations and to clarify my perspective.

I should give you some fair warning before you go any farther: this article is not a quick read. It is an in-depth study of this issue from a biblical perspective, for those looking for godly answers.

Okay. Grab yourself a cup of hot tea or coffee, prop your feet up on the recliner, and let’s get started!

What qualifies me to speak about this?

There is a very wide range of what it means to have a “health risk.” That could mean anything from something relatively minor such as slightly lowered platelet levels (which I’ve had in the past), to something major like hemorrhaging almost to the point of dying.

I am not in their shoes. In fact, even after eight children and a lot of turmoil early in our marriage, I must honestly admit that I have not yet ever been in their shoes. Yes, I have had various trials of my own, but I would not call them “severe.” So, who am I to judge? Well, I’m not judging. I’m simply hoping to find answers in the Bible.

I love the Bible and have been reading it pretty much every day for years. One of my passions has been to collect verses related to the topic of family planning, and I have accumulated quite a few. I have also read many books about birth control — its different forms, its history, its health dangers, its connection to the modern consequences we’re seeing today, what church leaders of the past thought about it, how it came to be accepted by the church in recent years, and what the Bible teaches about it.

Researching this subject has caused me to develop strong opinions about it. We don’t have to be in someone else’s shoes to know what the Bible says, or what the facts are, though going through situations similar to what others have been through can certainly help us have more compassion.

Would I choose birth control or sterilization if it was my health or life at risk? I honestly can’t say for sure . . . but I ardently hope and pray that God would “lead me in the paths of righteousness” (Psalm 23:3) through the light of His word:

“And this voice which came from heaven we heard, when we were with him in the holy mount. We have also a MORE SURE word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts: Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.”

2 Peter 1:18-20

The voice of God which Peter, James, and John heard when they were with Jesus on the Mount of Transfiguration must have been shocking and impressive — but prophecy (God’s written word) is said to be “more sure.” I take this to mean that experiences and feelings can’t always be trusted, but God’s word surely can. And that word isn’t meant to be interpreted “flexibly,” but there can only be one correct interpretation. My desire is for God to lead us to understand what that is.

If we ever do find ourselves in a tough situation, I think there are several good questions we can ask ourselves that can help us analyze our options:

1. Does the Bible speak to my situation?
2. What does my husband want us to do?
3. What is my real motive?

Does the Bible speak to my situation?

Part 1: Preparing our hearts for this conversation

Let’s start with the first question: Does the Bible speak to my situation? Most women I’ve heard from who have had difficult pregnancies or birth experiences and chose to go the route of birth control or sterilization would say, “No.” No, the Bible does not speak to their specific situation and therefore, they need to use man’s wisdom to try and reach a reasonable solution. They believe the Bible only provides the guiding principle of “being responsible.” They then use this reasoning to justify actions involving hormonal birth control, barrier methods, withdrawal, NFP, or sterilization. They say they have no other choice. They say they have to think about their other children. They say they need to be sexually available to their husband even though they don’t want sex to lead to babies. They say the Bible’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” doesn’t apply to them and their situation. They say that God calls some people to do certain things, while not calling others; they don’t feel called to not use birth control.

While I understand that reasoning, I sincerely hope that’s not how you, the reader, views this.

If it is, then this article isn’t for you. I can be of no help to you. You’ve already made up your mind and are just hoping for a pat on the back to feel less guilt about your choice. I wish I didn’t have to be so straightforward, but this is serious and I think it’s important to get past the small talk.

However, if you are really, honestly seeking the truth and are willing to accept it no matter what, then this article may end up being helpful to you. Jesus said something that applies perfectly to this topic:

“Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, IF ye continue in my word, THEN are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

John 8:31-32

Note, first of all, how Jesus was speaking to people who already believed on Him. What more could there be to following Jesus than believing? Here’s the answer: Jesus said we need to continue in His word, which means to keep on obeying the Bible’s teachings. The NIV says it this way: “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.”

So then, Jesus is saying that the defining characteristic of someone who is His “disciple indeed” is a commitment that endures. Please don’t think I’m endorsing “works salvation,” here. I’m not. I’m talking about life patterns that show what’s truly in our heart.

Yes, we make mistakes as Christians; I do all the time. But God’s grace overflows! Through a personal acceptance of Jesus Christ as Savior, there is complete forgiveness for all sins and shortcomings (2 Cor. 5:17-21). If we really love Christ, though, the goal should be to become more submitted to Him, not less; more careful with how we handle His Word, not less; more willing to obey every teaching of His, not less; more persevering, not less. We are not to be stagnant in our growth, happy just as long as our choices are accepted by the majority of our friends and family. No. We need to bring our choices before Christ, we need to be willing to consider: Are we truly continuing in His word?

Obviously, “continuing in Christ’s word” involves many areas of our walk, not just the family-planning area. But, family planning is a very real part of life. It does have to be dealt with — hopefully in a way that honors Christ’s word.

Let’s continue, shall we?

The passage goes on to say that if those of us who believe on Him continue in His word, then we shall know the truth, we shall be able to grasp it. But not before. I think it’s our hearts that can keep us from grasping the truth — hearts that are hardened against the totality of what it means to follow Jesus and therefore are unwilling to accept the truth. Yet, Jesus says that truth is what sets us free. The whole world may look upon us as fools, but the whole world doesn’t know what it is to experience that type of freedom.

I don’t think Jesus is speaking of freedom in the sense of not having problems, but freedom in the sense of being unconstrained by sin and selfishness, which limit our potential to do good. For, He says in one of the next verses, “Verily, verily I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.”

Obeying Jesus’ word (the Bible) does not necessarily lead to a trouble- or pain-free life on this earth. He never promised that it would:

“These things I have spoken unto you, that IN ME ye might have peace. IN THE WORLD ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

Notwithstanding that very accurate prediction of trouble in the world, for those of us who are in Him, there is hope for true peace.

This existence is about so much more than you or I and our individual concerns. It does involve all of us, yes; but, it also expands beyond us. It expands out into the rest of the world, and out beyond time into eternity. There is a big-picture perspective that we don’t have, but God does, and which we can choose to trust in. We can be confident that though we each go through our own version of “tribulation,” that Jesus has cleared the path to our ultimate victory if we are truly His and are committed to obeying His word. That is the God-vision that very many of us lack but so greatly need. So, before we start, I suggest we come to this topic willing to be taught by His word and ready to change any thinking that is not in line with it. (See Romans 12:2)

Part 2: Looking at a pertinent example from the Bible

The Bible does indeed have a lot to say about having children. I have been compiling verses from the Bible on this for years. You might like to start your personal study with this article I prepared for readers:

What Does the Bible Say About Birth Control? Genesis

The article provides a free PDF download of a complete list of verses from Genesis that talk about having children. I will be posting new articles with more verses on this topic from other books of the Bible, as time allows.

You might also find useful my resource page , which provides links to sources of more information on this subject, or the blog post category Surrendered Womb, to read various articles I’ve written about this. For the sake of brevity, I will only discuss one passage, here:

“And God said unto him [Jacob], I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall be of thee, and kings shall come out of thy loins; And the land which I gave Abraham and Isaac, to thee I will give it, and to they seed after thee will I give the land.

. . . “And they journeyed from Bethel; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour. And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also. And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin. And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlemem.”

Genesis 35:11-12, 16-19

So, God tells Jacob to be fruitful and multiply. Let’s take a moment to absorb that. The exact phrase “be fruitful and multiply” wasn’t spoken to just Adam and Eve (Genesis 1:28); it was repeated to Noah and his sons, twice (Genesis 9:1, 6-7), and later to Jacob (Genesis 35:11). The idea of God’s people being fruitful in the sense of having children is consistent throughout the entire book of Genesis, and is repeated many times. So, to say that “this was just for Adam and Eve, because the earth didn’t have any people yet,” is naive. No, this was not just for Adam and Eve. Many centuries later, it was for Jacob, too.

Then, a few verses later, we are told that his wife, Rachel, had hard labor. As if that weren’t bad enough, we are informed that she died. How tragic! So, believing God’s promise to make him into a great nation and following God’s command to be fruitful and multiply led Jacob to this. To hardship and death. To mourning. How are we to understand this?

One thing we know is that in Genesis, after Adam and Eve disobeyed Him, God told Eve (and all her female descendants by extension, which includes us) that He would “greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children“ (Genesis 3:16). So, it should come as no surprise when we experience sorrow while living out our natural, feminine role in this fallen world.

I don’t have all the answers. But, one thing is clear to me: God’s plan wasn’t for Jacob’s comfort, though it was for his good. And God’s plan didn’t involve only Jacob, though he was an important part of it; it involved the future of a whole group of people. God allowed Rachel to die while doing the very thing He had commanded Jacob to do. We don’t know why; we just know that it happened, and that God knew it was going to happen.

Was it all a waste? No. Benjamin, the child she gave birth to, grew up to become one of the Patriarchs of the nation of Israel and had an entire tribe named after him. King Saul, the first king of Israel, was of the tribe of Benjamin. Jacob’s family did indeed expand to become a great nation, which we are told more of in the next book of the Bible, Exodus. We are able to see in hindsight how the birth of this one baby, though it led to Rachel’s death, impacted the future of a nation.

While trying to understand how this applies to our lives, I have come to the conclusion that God will sometimes expect us to do things that are not comfortable or easy. In fact, these things may be extremely difficult and may even lead to the unthinkable (not even I want to consider that possibility, but it is there, nevertheless). The question isn’t, “How can I live my life so I can avoid all of that?” but it is, “How can I live life according to God’s plan for me?” In order to answer that question, we can’t depend on man’s wisdom, because that changes with the circumstances. We must depend upon the word of God. If we don’t know what it says, how can we know for sure we’re making the right decision? We can’t. Again, I strongly urge you to read my article on birth control and the book of Genesis as a springboard to further research.

What does my husband want us to do?

Now for the next major question we can ask ourselves when in difficult circumstances: What does my husband want us to do?

In marriage, we do not live indepenently but must make many decisions jointly. And as women, we are told by God to submit to our husband. (Read this article for a discussion of biblical submission.) So, it’s important that we take our husband’s wishes into account when making such an important life decision.

I think there are three basic categories that most couples fall into, here:

• The wife doesn’t want to use birth control, but the husband does.
• Neither the wife nor the husband want to use birth control; but, they are both concerned about the health risks that further pregnancies might involve.
• The wife wants to use birth control, but the husband doesn’t.

I’ll address each of those scenarios one at a time.

The wife doesn’t want to use birth control, but the husband does

If you feel you don’t want to use birth control, but your husband is worried about you and he insists, then I think you might find some helpful answers in the following article:

What Should I Do If My Husband Wants to Use Birth Control?

Neither the wife nor the husband want to use birth control

However, some husbands do want more children and have a strong conviction to allow the Lord to exercise His sovereign will in this extremely important area. Yet, this sort of man doesn’t want to seem inconsiderate or like a monster who doesn’t care about his wife’s wellbeing, even though he does. If that man’s wife were to reassure him by letting him know that she comes alongside his conviction and that she, too, wants to allow the Lord to be in control, he would most likely be relieved and uplifted. It would be very helpful for them to be open with each other about their fears and struggles, and receive mutual encouragement from each other’s faith.

The wife wants to use birth control, but the husband doesn’t

And then, there is the situation of a husband who wants to trust God in having more children despite the risks, but a wife who doesn’t.

At this point I think it’s important to be clear about what submission involves and what it doesn’t.

Submission DOESN’T Involve

Submission doesn’t involve allowing someone else to pressure you to do something against God’s design (in other words, un-natural) or something that breaks the Ten Commandments.

For a more in-depth look at this topic, you may want to read my article:

Should I ALWAYS Obey My Husband?

Never let yourself be forced into having an abortion! Beware of agreeing to use hormonal birth control, which can act as an abortifacient and kill a newly-conceived baby in addition to damaging the mother’s body. Don’t let yourself be pushed into having a surgery which could permanently damage your body. What your husband does with his own body is up to him, ultimately; but, his marriage rights do not include forcing you to harm your body or kill a new baby (no matter how tiny).

Now, I’m speaking here of the risks involved with using hormonal birth control or getting sterilized. Those are risks I’m warning you against. They are things you don’t have to submit to. But, what of the risks involved with becoming pregnant? What if your husband wants more children, but you’re not so sure you want to risk your own health, or that of a new baby? There could be some permanent damage involved in those situations, too. If you don’t need to submit to using hormonal birth control or getting sterilized, then why should you have to submit to having more children if it could be just as dangerous to your health? What’s the difference?

Well, that’s a good question.

Submission DOES Involve

Submission does involve listening to your husband’s opinion and following through with his wishes, as long as they do not involve anything un-natural or that breaks the Ten Commandments. Could there be risk involved? Yes; but, it’s of a different sort, a kind that doesn’t involve disobeying God. Let me make a comparison that I hope will be helpful. It’s not a perfect analogy, I know; but please bear with me.

If your husband wanted you to do drugs, would you do it? No, you wouldn’t. Why not? Because it’s unhealthy and destructive. You would tell him very unequivocally, “No.” That much is obvious. But, what if your husband wanted to move the whole family to a poor community in order for him to be involved in a ministry which reaches out to drug addicts? There are risks there, too, aren’t there. But, they are a different set of risks. In this case, your husband wants to do something he views as honorable, something he believes God would approve of, something that will hopefully, with God’s help, lead to eternal rewards. Now would you say, “No”?

Okay. I think that submitting to your husband in the matter of having more children is similar. If he were to ask you to have an abortion, the answer should be absolutely, unequivocally, “No.” It’s morally wrong. But, if your husband wants to have more children and trust God to take care of the risks, he’s not asking you to do something bad; he’s asking you to trust God for something that, with God’s help, will lead to eternal rewards. He’s looking at the long term. Not necessarily the earthly long-term, but the really, really long-term: eternity. He knows God has a plan for each and every human being’s life, and that even though bad things happen, God can use them for good if we believe in Him and love Him (Romans 8:28). You may lose something in the process . . . but you will gain something more in the end.

By giving your body to the Lord’s service, you are saying, “Yes,” to God:

“Yes,” to trusting in His sovereignty.

“Yes,” to believing in His perfect plan and timing for each of our lives.

“Yes,” to living according to Christ’s sacrificial example.

Jesus set the example by giving His life for us, allowing His body to be broken so that we could have a chance at life. At The Last Supper, He gave a preview of what was about to happen to Him at the hands of wicked men:

“And when he had given thanks, he brake it [the bread], and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.”

1 Corinthians 11:24

Did you notice that He gave thanks? What a man! He knew He was about to be led away to the slaughter, but He gave thanks, He rejoiced in God’s grace, despite that! Or maybe, because of it, since He knew what it would mean for us.

Is having a baby much different? When we give our bodies to the process of developing new life, we are making a sacrifice — sometimes a costly one. But for what purpose? So that God may have the privilege of advancing His plans for something ultimately good!

Jesus’ life belonged to God, therefore it made sense for Him to submit His body to the Father’s will. Our lives belong to God, too. They belong to Him because He created us, first of all; and second of all, they belong to Him because He saved us. If we believe in Jesus as our personal Savior, we have had our sins forgiven, we have been adopted into His family, and His Spirit dwells within us.

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”

1 Corinthians 6:19

When we give our bodies to the Lord’s service, we merely give back to Him what was always His to begin with. We need not fear that He will misuse our sacrifice.

What is my real motive?

Modern birth control began as an insidiously gradual movement away from biblical morals towards finally becoming the all-out affront to biblical morality it is today. How did it start? With exceptions. Exceptions for the health and life of the mother. Exceptions for economic difficulties. Then, it just got worse from there. The motive appeared good, but the outcome has been disastrous for our society.

Don’t believe me? You need to see this video!

How can doing something with a motive that appears so justifiable lead to so much promiscuity, fornication, pornography, and abortion? I will tell you: Because the motive was not based on the Bible’s truth. It was based on convenience.

When we are faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to use birth control or get sterilized because of “health risks,” we need to check our motives. They may seem reasonable to us, our friends, our family, and even our pastor. But, are they based on the truth, or are they based on a lack of faith in the truth? We need to be honest with ourselves.

Some women claim that they stopped having children because of health risks when they only had minor problems that could have been resolved with some extra effort. For these women, their real motive in giving up on having children was not the supposed “health risks,” but was that they simply did not want to have any more children; they just use the health-risk argument to make their choice seem more valid and less selfish.

At other times, I have heard women say that in order to protect their mental and emotional health, they need to stop having children. If they didn’t, they would just go crazy, hurt their children, and end up in jail. Well, I don’t know about that . . .

I think it’s all a matter of perspective. Here is a very pertinent quote from Joseph M. Stowell, who currently serves as the president of Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, Michigan:

“First Corinthians 10:13 tells us, ‘No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the tempation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure [bear] it.‘

“Though we usually think this verse is talking about temptation, its wording in the original language of the New Testament actually applies to all kinds of trials. God has not given us any trial or trouble that is not common to all people. Furthermore, He will not give us more than we can bear, and with the trial He will provide a way of escape. Remember this: if God permits trouble to come into our lives, we WILL be able to bear it. He promised He will not give us anything we cannot bear.

“As the saying goes, ‘the God who knows our load limit limits our load.’ What kind of a Father in heaven would God be if He dumped trials and troubles on us that would crush and defeat us? First Corinthians 10:13 guarantees that all things that come our way will indeed be bearable. That is the truth of bearability.

. . . “Remember that God stands like a sentinel at the gate of our lives, and nothing moves through the gate without the divine, sovereign permission of God (Job 1). He weighs it all out. He knows us personally and intimately, and He permits nothing that we cannot bear.”

[The Dawn’s Early Light, by Joseph M. Stowell, pages 106 and 107; Moody Press, 1990. Emphasis added. Internet links provided by me, which connect to Bible Study Tools, an online aid for researching the Bible.]

If we think there is something in our lives that we cannot bear, even with God’s help, something like taking care of multiple children, then we’re wrong. We don’t really believe what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:13. If we say we believe the Bible, but make an exception at this point, then we’re liars. If we mistreat our children because we feel like they’re making us go crazy, it’s not God’s fault for supposedly giving us something we “couldn’t bear” — it’s ours, for not trusting Him to do what He said He would.

In the Church, we are all one body made up of many members; we need each other, and God expects us to help each other through hard times, not say, “You got yourself into this, so deal with it” or “I told you so.” When we receive help from others in the body of Christ, that is a great example of God helping us to bear our troubles.

And no, just in case you were thinking it, birth control was not the “escape” that God had in mind. He would never lead us to do something contrary to His word, which says to be fruitful and multiply, or to His design, which is for sex to lead to babies and for women to be child-bearers and home-keepers.

I’m not Super Mom. I wasn’t made better at taking care of children than you. No. I have had, and still have, so many moments when I feel like I “just can’t take it any more.” I get it. Life can be pretty crazy sometimes. Maybe a lot of the time. But when I catch myself saying things like, “I just can’t take it any more,” I quickly take that back and remind myself that I can. I can, because God is with me. He will help me get through this.

It’s what we say to ourselves in our own heads that makes the biggest difference.

Remember how Jesus said that the truth sets us free? It does; but it’s not an easy path. We want easy. We want pain-free. We want to feel in control of our lives. We are afraid of losing what we love. We are afraid of all the scary unforeseeables. And I say, “we,” because I am no different! But what if we could just push open the door of eternity a crack . . . what would we see? Would we see Jesus judging us for trusting Him with our lives? Would we regret having surrendered to His design for our bodies to produce life and His command to “be fruitful and multiply?” Would we see that our commitment to Him was a waste? Would we wish we could take back any of the children He gave us? Or, would we see the impact He allowed us to have on a whole string of events and a whole group of people, as in the life of Jacob?

In the end . . .

Ultimately, I can’t tell you what to do. Please don’t get upset at me for suggesting that you should trust God. No, I can’t tell you to do anything. It’s your life, and it’s your choice. You and your husband will be held responsible before God for the decisions you both make together about your fertility, just as my husband and I will be held responsible for ours. All I’m asking you to do is this:

–Study God’s word like you’ve never done before. And I don’t mean pick a few verses here and there to try and justify yourself and discredit others. No, I mean really do your research. Get out your notebook and jot down every, single time the Bible mentions anything having to do with the purpose of marriage, God’s design for sex, and having children.

–Be honest about your true motives. Dig deep into your heart; ask yourself the big Why? Don’t be afraid to call it what it is. Are you afraid? Admit it. Do you have a lack of faith in God’s ability to provide for you, heal you, guide you, rescue you, take care of your family, and control the timing of everything that happens in your life? Don’t tell me you’re “just being responsible” if you’re deciding to cut off your fertility, even if it’s for what seems to be a very valid reason; no, you probably had a trial of faith . . . and you failed. You just call it “being responisible” to feel better about yourself. You need to face the reality of what’s in your own soul.

–Repent of any mistakes. Maybe, you already made a poor decision about this in the past. You may have agreed for you or your husband to have a surgery that cut off your fertility. And while you initially felt relieved, you now wonder if it was really the right choice. Most days, you tell yourself that it was. But then there are those other days when you think that maybe things wouldn’t have been as bad as the doctor tried to make you believe. Doctors can be wrong. And God can do miracles. He’s done them before — lots of times. Perhaps He would have done one for you, too . . . but now, you’ll never know. You gave up. You didn’t believe that God could manage your life for you, so you had to step in and take control. You were afraid. You didn’t believe God was big enough. It may be too late to take back your fertility, but it’s never too late to be made right with God. Confess any lack of faith. Ask for God’s healing. Pray for His courage. You can still live for Him during this next phase of your life journey! If you allowed your husband to pressure you into getting sterilized, then remember that Jesus taught us to forgive.

–Take wise measures to protect your health, without sacrificing your fertility, if at all possible. Perhaps there are answers to your dilemma that do not involve getting on birth control or getting sterilized. Think outside the box. Do research. Try different things. Don’t give up. This time of being able to have children will not last long. It’s only a window in the timeframe of our lives. One day, you will no longer have the ability to bear children. Do you want to look back on this time with regret, wondering if you could have done more but didn’t because you were too afraid? Don’t let that be you.

Our fertility is not an illness; it is a normal part of the way God designed us. You wouldn’t let the doctors cut off your leg, would you? Not if it was healthy. No; in order for you to say, “Goodbye” to that member of your body, the doctors had better prove to you that there is absolutely no other way on earth to save your leg, that it is beyond repair, that you will be dead in a matter of days unless they amputate. Okay, saying goodbye to your fertility — if you feel biblically convicted to go that route — would need to involve a situation just as extreme, since your ability to have children is just as precious — much more so, in fact — than a limb.

Part of taking wise measures to protect your health may involve complete abstinence for awhile. That is a valid response. The Bible gives the woman a break to heal after she’s had a baby (40 days for a boy, 80 days for a girl). It makes sense that she would be allowed to have a break to heal after other sorts of “trauma.” However, biblical abstinence is complete abstinence: it is never supposed to last a long time, and it does not involve continuing to have sex while actively rejecting the natural fruit of sex, as in Natural Family Planning (1 Cor. 7:2-5).

I’ve heard some people say that to continue having children when the mother has health risks, or when the children could be born with health problems, or the family is going through hard times, is selfish. Wait a minute! We need to dig a little deeper before we blindly accept the same Margaret Sanger philosophy that has been the guiding influence of our culture for the past many years.

Where do children come from? If they come from God (and they do; see, for example, Psalm 139:13-16), then it isn’t selfish to allow God to work through us to send these unique, unrepeatable, and eternal new individuals into the world, even if they sometimes don’t make it out of the womb through miscarriage (which is a very sad thing to have to go through). When we say, “Yes,” to children, we are actually saying, “Yes,” to God. These are His children, ultimately, and we are His servants to carry out His will. That belief changes our perspective dramatically!

And, if we are serving God’s purposes, we can trust that He will carry us through, for “we can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens me”! (Philippians 4:13). Not just some things, but “ALL things.” Even having children? Yes, even having children.

We don’t have to worry that if we trust God, our lives will spin out of control. No. God will never misuse our trust. We may have concerns about our health, our ability to deal with another child, that child’s health, or even death. But we can have faith that God has us in His hand from beginning to end:

“My times are in your hand . . .” Psalm 31:15

Final Thoughts

This is one of the thorniest possible topics I could have chosen to address! There will probably be some ladies who will be upset at me for saying these things. Listen, if you’re mad, take this to God and talk to Him about it. If I’m wrong, then God will show me, right? If you’re concerned that other ladies might be misguided by me, I will kindly remind you that they are most likely already surrounded by a barrage of socially- and politically-correct messages that say the exact opposite of what I’m saying, here. So, they have already heard the other side. Maybe you should give them a chance to hear this side, too, and let them make up their own minds.

But if this article has helped you, then I am so glad! Feel free to send me an uplifting message through the Contact form. Let’s encourage each other to follow the womanly role God designed for us, even though it can be very hard to do so in this fallen world. Thank God for His plan to redeem all that sin has messed up!

And please know that whatever your situation has been, I have compassion for you. Really. I know what it is to be scared. I know what it is to make a choice out of fear and then later regret it but not be able to change it. I know what it is to mistrust my own motives. I know what it is to do what seems right at the time and hope that God will forgive my incompetance and weakness.

I love God’s word and want with all my heart for myself and for all of us to obey it! But I am also realistic and know that we, myself included, often fail to do as we should. Ladies, there is grace for our failures. There is hope that God can take our inconsistencies and mistakes and turn them into something better than we deserve. I believe that with all my heart. So, even though I have come down pretty hard on using birth control, I want you to know that if that has been you, I still accept you. You are still welcome here.

Let’s keep on moving forward, toward living out the word of God day by day, moment by moment. It’s never too late to do what’s right, today. And while we’re doing that, we can look forward with hope to the bright future God has planned for us. This life is certainly full of trouble, but thank God this life isn’t all there will be. A better time is yet to come!

~Jessica

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

Revelation 21:4

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• If you or your spouse has had a surgery for sterilization (vasectomy or tubal ligation), I suggest looking into a reversal procedure. There is no guarantee that it will be successful, but there is a chance that it might be. Some organizations offer a lower cost as part of their ministry to help couples reverse a decision they now regret and hopefully allow them a chance to have more children.
• If you have abortion in your past, you may want to look into Rachel’s Vineyard. It is a “safe place to renew, rebuild and redeem hearts broken by abortion. Weekend retreats offer you a supportive, confidential and non-judgmental environment where women and men can express, release and reconcile painful post-abortive emotions to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing.”