For so many of us, the holidays are a very controversial topic! To celebrate or not to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc.? When I’ve talked to people about this, feelings have sometimes been tense. It is an issue which reaches straight down to the base layers of our faith, and talking about it disturbs deep waters.
Personally, I’m both “not affected” and “deeply concerned” at the same time.
Not affected
I say that I’m “not affected” because I’ve tried to look at each holiday from different angles, taking into consideration what I’ve heard about them from different people who place themselves on different sides of the issue. Doing so, I feel, has given me a sort of “outsider’s neutrality.” I try and avoid what I see as “extremes.”
The way I see it, each holiday itself is basically a “thing,” but the people involved (or not involved) in the observance and celebration of that particular holiday are more than things: they are human beings and as such, deserve to be treated with care and respect no matter what they believe to be true.
I want to avoid polarizing the holiday issue into an Us (at the top) and a Them (at the bottom) sort of thing. Much of the time, it’s not “us versus them.”
For the Christian there might be multiple, equally acceptable approaches to certain holidays; but, even if someone truly is wrong and another truly is right in what they believe (based on the timeless Word of God), we mustn’t allow that to break down whatever good there is that unites us. We must keep in mind that we are all in a process of growth toward maturity and none of us have completely “arrived” yet. Growth takes time. So, there is a need for loving tolerance, unless there is clear wrongdoing and lawbreaking involved.
Deeply Concerned
And yet, even as I try and remain “neutral” in not appearing to choose sides, I can’t realistically be un-concerned about the holidays. As noted earlier, in many ways they touch the base layers of my faith, forcing me to consider such non-neutral issues as Who is Lord of the holidays? And How would He want us to celebrate them?
For the Christian, these questions are very important and unavoidable.
The Lordship of Christ doesn’t stop on the evening of October 31st, for example. The holidays really aren’t completely neutral; they are one more area of life on this earth that needs to be brought under submission to Jesus Christ.
So, here are three questions I’ve come up with that might be helpful to utilize in thinking through our approach to the holidays, no matter what stance we’ve taken.
Some Questions Worth Asking
-Are we choosing between equals?
Are we choosing between an apple and a pear, or choosing between an apple and a cigarette? In other words, Are ALL ways of celebrating certain holidays equally appropriate and healthy for the Christian?
Some approaches to specific holidays might be seen as choosing amongst “fruit” of different varieties: one way of celebrating might be an “apple,” and a slightly different way of celebrating might be a “pear.” However, either choice is equally appropriate; we are free to choose whichever we think is best. Neither choice is a sin.
Then there are those approaches to specific holidays that might be compared to smoking a cigarette. The correct choice is obvious: we had better choose the “fruit” over the “cigarette”; there’s just no contest, here. Some people might prefer the cigarette, and they might even have developed a taste for it. But, in the end that choice will probably lead to some very unhealthy consequences. This approach, even if misguided and ignorant, might be considered a sin and is dangerous to our spiritual health.
In this scenario, the holiday itself isn’t in question, just the way we celebrate it.
-Are we sanitizing the filthy or celebrating something distinct?
Perhaps some things aren’t worth trying to “clean up” — better to just let them be and do something totally different instead. It seems possible to me that there might be some holidays which really are bad and worthless; no matter what our unique approach is to celebrating them, we will never be able to clean away the filth. It’s a useless attempt.
In this scenario, the holiday itself is in question, regardless of the way we celebrate it.
Are we “just having fun” and celebrating certain holidays mostly for their entertainment value, or is there a specific and noble purpose behind our celebration? –>
-Are we exalting Christ and “what is noble,” or exalting the flesh and the ignoble? (“think on these things…” Philippians 4:8)
The main point of the holidays, or any area of life for that matter, ought to be to serve and glorify Christ. We have to ask ourselves if we’re celebrating for us, or if we’re doing it for God. Is it leading to more maturity, more Christian growth, more closeness to our Savior, more truth being made known, more progress on our spiritual journey? Or is it doing the opposite?
This is something that we really need to be honest with ourselves about if we’re ever going to get any real answers.
Too often, people are attached to their holiday traditions merely because of something sentimental, like a memory they associate with them (though I’m not saying that sentimentality is necessarily always wrong). Or, it’s because of something fleshly, like a desire to be accepted by family and friends and not be seen as “weird.”
I think that if we could just take a step back and look closely at the holidays from an unsentimental and logical perspective, it might be easier to judge the good from the bad. That, and the word of God, should help us make a wise decision. And I must not forget to mention that the opinion of one’s husband is also very important.
I hope that this holiday season will be both happy and peaceful for all of us, ladies. Let’s not allow ourselves to get stressed out over this, but deal with it calmly and logically, with God’s word as our guide.
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do ALL to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31
If you enjoyed this article, you may also be interested in this related one:
Where We’re At Right Now With Christmas
What do you use as a guide for which holidays to celebrate and which not to celebrate? How do you decide which activities to include and which not to include? How do you relate to any family members, fellow church-goers, and friends who don’t agree with your approach? I look forward to hearing from you in the Comment section below!
~Jessica
Very well balanced and wise article. Thanks!
I appreciate your very kind remarks, Mrs. Sarah Coller! Thank you! and you’re welcome!
~Jessica
For us, growing up, it was it was always important to my parents that we kids knew what we were celebrating and why. So the traditions they developed, which I find very good and intend to pass on to my own family when I have one – provided I have a husband who approves of these ideas -, reflect that purpose.
We celebrated beginning of spring as a way to remember that God makes all things new and thank Him for that. The time of chicks and baby bunny rabbits is when we would paint eggs and eat chocolate rabbits. This happened on the first day of spring, so as to be completely separate from Easter, which has a different focus.
For Easter the focus is Christ’s resurrection – His victory over death! On Saturday evening we would bake “resurrection cookies”. Each ingredient in the recipe is tied to a verse or passage in the Bible relating to the Easter story. For example beating the nuts with a spoon to crush them was connected with the account of how Jesus was beaten. The sugar is the sweetness of God’s love for us. The teaspoon or so of vinegar is tied to the account that Jesus was given vinegar to drink on the cross. With every action and ingredient, the corresponding bible verse is read aloud. In the end, the cookies are put on a baking sheet in the oven and the oven is sealed with tape – because the tomb was sealed. After the cookies are done, the oven is turned off and the cookies are left inside over night. The next morning, the tape was removed and the cold cookies were taken from the oven. We were instructed to take a bite and discover that the cookies are hollow inside – just like the tomb! I really like this tradition, because it makes such a strong impression. We also each got one little present. Because Christ died and rose again, we are able to have a relationship with God, and so our presents were things to give us a little new motivation to work on that relationship: a christian book, CD, DVD or a new Bible – something to give some fresh input.
There was never any reason for us to dress up, go outside and collect candy on October 31st. We were busy celebrating Reformation Day! October 31st is the Anniversary of the day someone nailed Martin Luther’s 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg church in Germany, which most people consider to be the event that started the Reformation. What we specifically celebrated, was having a Bible in our own language. The way we celebrated this, was by doing a big Bible quiz. For each correct answer we would get a bead that we could later trade for treats. What an incentive for a child to memorize scripture!
Thanksgiving isn’t a big holiday in Austria, and living in the city, we were too far removed from harvests to have an understanding of being grateful for the harvest. Maybe when I have children I can find a way to celebrate the harvesting of crops in a relatable way.
Advent and Christmas have a lot of family tradition woven in. We did have a tree, cookies, an advent wreath and gave each other presents, but we didn’t leave it at that, and we never even heard about Santa Claus, until our classmates told us he wasn’t real. Our advent calendar was homemade and when complete it showed a nativity scene. Each day we would get to add a sheep, an angel, the manger,… until finally on the 24th Baby Jesus was added and the calendar was complete. On the four Advent Sundays, we sang Advent songs and had a family devotion related to prophecy of Christ’s first coming and remembering and preparing for His second coming. During this we would have lit candles and eaten cookies afterwards. On Christmas Eve we had “birthday cake for Jesus” – we actually sang “Happy Birthday”, before going to open presents. We didn’t grab the presents from a labelled pile. Instead they were handed out. The presents are the tradition I would be most likely to drop, but I have recently realized that they do have some virtue: For me, as someone who tends to be a bit selfish and greedy, it challenges me to look beyond myself to find a way to serve others and make them happy. For others, it is practise in accepting gifts, if that is one of their struggles.
Erika,
I must say that reading about all those beautiful family traditions brought tears to my eyes! I didn’t grow up with so many special traditions, so I feel like I am way behind a lot of people who did grow up with them. However, we’re slowly trying to make our own family traditions. Maybe one day we’ll get to where your family was/is at!
Thank you so much for describing everything for us!
~Jessica
We have always celebrated Christmas, pretty much like your average American family (but with more Jesus). We decorate day after Thanksgiving with Christmas music in the background. We have family over or go to see them, depending on the year. We cook and bake A LOT. We give gifts. We watch Rankin and Bass Christmas specials (“Jack Frost” is my favorite!). One interesting thing, though, was that even though we always had Christmas stockings (homemade because my mom can quilt), my parents never intended for us to believe in Santa. They simply never told us about him. However, when I was four, I heard about him in preschool and came home convinced he was real. Mom tried to tell me otherwise, but I actually wouldn’t believe her. So we included Santa after that. When I was a kid, we also celebrated Chanukah. It was not a big holiday for us because of Christmas, but we made a menorah out of a cereal box and lit the candles briefly every day. We played dreidel with pecans from our pecan trees or Chanukah gelts (chocolate candies that look like gold coins). We read books about Chanukah and the story of the Maccabees. We don’t really do that now. My dad’s great grandmother was Jewish, but honestly it was my mom who was wanting us to celebrate it. He didn’t mind one way or the other. Now that I am older, we celebrate Purim. I spend all day in the kitchen making hamantaschen (similar to Czech kolaches, but shaped like triangles, the shape of Haman’s hat) and get some help from my dad or sisters. Later I read the book of Esther in my devotions. My parents love the hamantaschen, especially the prune ones (lekvar in Yiddish). We are not Hebrew Roots, but we enjoy these holidays. As for Halloween, we never really celebrated it. I have never been trick or treating. We dressed up as princesses and went to harvest festivals, but that was all. That was only for a couple years anyway. We handed out candy and tracts to anyone who came to our door, and we would usually watch “Parent Trap” (Hayley Mills version). That was our “tradition” for that night. My parents were always very convicted not to celebrate Halloween. Easter was pretty normal as well, except that Mom succeeded in keeping us from believing in the Easter bunny :). We did not really celebrate Passover, but we occasionally made matzah for church, and my dad went to a Seder once. He said it was really enjoyable. I think it was a messianic Seder. I sometimes try to abstain from leavened bread during this time. I always really enjoyed celebrating whatever Jewish feasts we did observe, as well as the Christian ones.
Thank you, Elisa, for telling us about your family’s holiday traditions! I’m so happy to be getting so much wonderful feedback on my post!
I’ve never celebrated any Jewish holidays/feasts, but one of these days, I’d love to look into them and maybe start observing some of them in our own family.
~Jessica
Lovely article, Jessica! I love your spirit of charity:
“The way I see it, each holiday itself is basically a “thing,” but the people involved (or not involved) in the observance and celebration of that particular holiday are more than things: they are human beings and as such, deserve to be treated with care and respect no matter what they believe to be true.”
Yes.
In reading various bloggers, I have noticed that the anti-Christmas ideas tend to be from the Jewish Roots movement – i.e. the belief that we should eat kosher and celebrate only the Jewish holidays.
For us:
We gave up Halloween years ago. I actually don’t mind it as a “autumn-pumpkins-leaves-etc.” sort of holiday, but we all know how our culture is celebrating it. I have seen some Catholic families do an All Saints Day celebration that is very nice instead. We just celebrate Reformation Day.
I actually have been getting more and more into the traditional church calendar, and the holidays are blossoming beautifully for me. For example, I have taken up the tradition of playing Advent music during Advent, and saving Christmas music until Christmas Day . This has been a beautiful addition and really has made Advent special for me. I’m also working on doing more with Lent. Both Advent and Lent are preparatory seasons that make the feast celebrations (Christmas and Easter) more beautiful and more special after a preceding time of quietness and contemplation. I’m also working on adding church holidays like Epiphany into our family life. Such things were technically part of my Lutheran upbringing, but the Lutheran denomination we attended was so decayed and liberalized that there was barely a shell of traditional Lutheran culture left. As an adult, I’m enjoying learning now what I should have been taught as a child in the Lutheran church!
Thank you for this lovely article!
Thank you, Diana!
I really enjoyed reading about what your family is doing with different holidays. It sounds so beautiful! My grandmother’s family was Episcopal, and I have her Bibles and religious books that were given to her on different occasions. On perusing the Book of Common Prayer, I am impressed with the beauty of the order of the services as they observed both regular Sunday meetings and special occasions. I think that if one were to take this rather ritualistic approach to Church meetings with the wrong attitude, I can see how it could be a stumbling block; but, if one were to approach them with the right understanding and attitude, I think they could be a lovely support to one’s spiritual walk. I don’t know — I’ve never actually been to an Episcopal service, though.
I am very interested in your return to your Lutheran roots! I have always attended non-denominational churches (except at one time when we went to an Apostolic church), and as you probably know, the services are very non-traditional and “comfortable.” It makes me wonder about what the more traditional churches are doing, and what I may possibly be lacking? I think I am mostly aware of a disconnect with church history.
Interestingly, I have also noted that the anti-Christmas idea seems to be mostly from the Jewish Roots movement. There are some things I like about what I’ve seen from that movement (for example, I wish I was more familiar with the biblical feasts), but then I think that there can be a tendency to condemn other Christians for observing holidays with “pagan roots,” when it isn’t always as cut-and-dry as some would make it seem.
I’m so thankful we can exchange thoughts on topics like these!
~Jessica
Hi, Jessica!
Thank you for your lovely and kind thoughts! I completely agree with all of your points.
Here is a great video series that you might enjoy – the fellow has been going around and touring different denominational churches and talking to priests/pastors/etc. about them. There’s a good series on Lutheranism (which I haven’t finished yet). Episcopalianism and Anglicanism are also in there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTA8jbsm_XI&list=PLeLDw8KQgqi4vbm__vNR6gMnwhLmGj0Cd
I would have to say that, unfortunately, I cannot recommend the Episcopal church at the present time. Wish I could – I’d probably be in one of them. (Perhaps the one in the video series about is one of the good ones left???)
I hope some day to get back to a traditionally Lutheran or perhaps Anglican church. I do miss it very much. And you are quite right – one of the huge deficiencies of the non-denoms (and probably Baptist theology in general, as non-denoms tend to be Baptist theologically) is, in general, their willful ignorance of church history. If you think about it, it is extremely rare for a non-denom pastor to quote anyone further back in history than Charles Spurgeon. I think that this is one of the big drawing factors of Reformed theology – that they are willing to dive back into the history of the church (at least as far as the Reformers and Puritans) and put in serious scholastic effort into studying the church fathers.
Ah, well – enough rambling for this morning. Have a wonderful week, Jessica!!!
Thanks for the video link, Diana! I hope to begin watching the series soon — I’m intrigued!
I know what you mean about the Episcopal church. My grandma was buried in the graveyard of an Episcopal church, and I attended her service. I was disappointed that the minister who officiated the service was a woman. Also, I have read that some leaders in the Episcopal church want to change the wording in the Book of Common Prayer to “reflect gender neutrality,” meaning, they don’t want God to be referred to as a male. Which is just ridiculous. Not all Episcopalians are in agreement with that, though. Probably I would not want to join myself to a denomination that has compromised biblical authority on those issues. However, I am interested in learning more about church history and my own family’s religious roots.
Thanks again for sharing my interest in this topic!
~Jessica