The other day at dinnertime I asked my children if they could think of any unusual things they could be grateful for. They came up with things like, I’m thankful for a table to eat at because if we didn’t have one, we’d have to eat on the ground; chairs to sit on; plates to put our food on so we don’t have to eat like animals or cavemen (let’s not forget the silverware); clothes to wear; a yard to play in; beds to sleep in, etc.
I don’t know that those were the answers I was expecting; they seemed to me more like ordinary things seen in a new light rather than unusual things. I guess I thought someone would pop their hand up and say very gravely, I’m thankful for wars because they help us appreciate peace. Yeah, something morbid like that.
But isn’t it so true that the ordinary things are what we least appreciate as sources of blessing? My kids are right. And the painful things can be sources of blessing, as well. I’m right, too.
Childbearing Troubles
Like when I was pregnant with our seventh and I spent so much time curled up in bed, feeling like death must be near. I was so weak from not being able to eat and from just feeling extraordinarily exhausted that all I could do was cry. Yes, I cried a lot.
But you know what? During those dark days, I drew near to the Lord through His Word. I meditated deeply on the Psalms, praying over them, pulling their pearls of truth close to my weary heart. I had never felt as physically horrible in all my life.
I had never felt as close to God, either.
Something mysterious happend at the crossing of my weakness and God’s Word — something powerful.
Since then, I’ve felt a strong sense of compassion when I’ve seen other people suffering. In a sense, I know at least a little of what they’re going through. That never would have been possible if God hadn’t blessed me with such a hard pregnancy.
Church Troubles
Or how about when we had problems at a church we used to go to? We were shocked one Sunday to find that I was under scrutiny for teaching the children about the Trinity. Before this, we had never thought to ask what they believed on that topic; we just assumed we all believed the same thing.
After a month of discussions with the pastor, who wanted us to continue on with them, we had to painfully wrench ourselves away from a warm and loving community of friends who had accepted us when we were at our lowest.
It was extremely difficult. We didn’t really want to leave; but, we had to. It took me years to heal from that separation.
And yet, it led to our joining a small Spanish Bible study that probably helped us mature in more ways than that church could have, if we had stayed. They had fulfilled their role in our lives, so God led us into the next step, the step He knew was necessary for our spiritual growth.
It seems to me that it all happened at just the right time, though we didn’t know it then.
Other Sorts of Troubles
I could add many more hidden blessings to the list:
- Thanksgiving dinner was canceled last year, but it forced me to accept that I needed to start forming our own, unique family traditions, apart from extended family.
- Our dryer broke down, but it forced me to line dry the laundry, saving us tons of money.
- I don’t have time to volunteer at church or be involved in Bible studies, which sometimes saddens me; but, I believe this has saved me from assimilating into modern church culture, where faith in God for family size is non-existent and no one believes headcovering is important.
- Raising teens has helped me appreciate my parents a lot more.
- Feeling physically weak has led me to value my short time on earth more than ever (all our lives are “short” when compared to eternity).
And the list goes on.
I hate to go through hard times, don’t you? I can’t bring myself to ask God for trials. I just admit to Him that I know they will come my way and ask Him to help me have faith and perseverance when they do. I ask Him to be patient with me when I request politely that He please not let us get injured, or sick, or kidnapped, or . . . die.
But, I know bad things will happen anway. The thing is, though: I should know enough by now to be able to be confident that whenever these things happen, they’re really not “bad,” even though they are. They’re bad, but they’re good, too, because they force us into the next step, the deeper understanding, the greater compassion, the humbler and more faith-filled stance.
They propel us into unknown regions where the growth that was not possible before, now is.
For all of those unusal blessings, I’m thankful. And of course, things like tables, chairs, plates, and forks are very nice, too.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4
What things have happened to you that seemed bad at the start but turned out for good in the end? What helped you get through the hard times without losing your faith? Your answers will be sure to encourage us all!
~Jessica
Beautifully said Jessica! I appreciate all the pearls of wisdom you share with us and the bits of your life you share not even knowing us. I hope you and your family have a most blessed Thanksgiving!!
Thank you so much, Darlene! I appreciate your warmhearted support!
Yes, we did have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I hope you and your family did, too!
~Jessica
I can identify with you! I am currently pregnant with our third child, and I have never been so sick in my entire life. My first pregnancy was very similar to this, but this one is even a little worse, which I didnt think could happen. I spent weeks on my parents’ couch, in agonizing pain and weakness. I couldn’t move without becoming sick. I am just now starting to come out of this and have realized the benefits of this suffering. It has taught me things about myself and about God that I didn’t know, and I am truly grateful. Of course at the time when you’re going through it, it’s hard to feel anything but the pain. But, the Lord is faithful, and I know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
Hello, Susan! It’s so good to know that you can identify with me! Physical weakness can help us grow stronger spiritually, as we learn more about ourselves (as you mentioned) and more about God. It’s so beautiful when that happens, isn’t it?! And there’s really no way around it, no shorcut to that spiritual growth. Trials are painful, but necessary.
May I suggest a resource to you? Here is a link to a friend’s site, where she has collected many resources for women with hyperemesis. Her own story is very encouraging, too!
http://whiningpuker.blogspot.com/
With Christian love,
~Jessica
Hi,Jessica,Happy thanksgiving day! Yes, there are a lot of incidents in our life which were difficult when we got involved but later we know that was best in God’s plan for us. When I had to face difficulty,I often asked ‘why me?’But later-sometimes many years later,God told me the reason.
I hope to see what God plans for my son.My son has slight handicap and it is not easy.I am still not sure whether he can live by his own in the future.
But there is God.So I can have hope that His best will be done also for my family,whatever happens.
In God’s rule,what we think ‘bad things’ are not always bad.T as you say.This fact is so encouraging.I have been a housewife who does not make money since I had my son. Sometimes we had to face financial difficulty -this might be bad for us. But these years I learned a lot with family and could have time to share with other sincere christians. I respect those who work hard,but I got to know that’ to be available’ for family and others is also very important.
Thank you for true and sincere sharing ,that is always blessing to me!
May you and your family have a blessed day!
Dear Sanae,
Your words were very encouraging to me! Yes, we often see certain things as “bad,” but maybe they are not really as bad as we think they are. God’s work in our lives as time passes can help reveal the true state of things to us. I’m so thankful that you took the time to share about your own personal experiences in learning to appreciate the good in the midst of the “bad” in your own life. Seeing how you trust God with the life of your son is very tenderly inspiring to me. I appreciate your faith and example so much! 🙂
~Jessica
Wow Jessica great post that surely hit home today.
Well my niece who suffers from a life threatening condition nearly lost her life at 4yrs old the day before yesterday. It was a nightmare. I was there when she was screaming for me and my husband to help her. She was at death’s door.
Over these past few days I have never prayed so hard in all my time walking with the Lord. This has been a true test of faith for me.
I did waiver yesterday and I did question how God could do this horrific thing and give this terrible disorder to such a beautiful baby girl.
It honestly wasn’t until about an hour ago my husband sat and reminded me of the many blessings The Lord has gifted us with including my niece, Sophia.
Then it dawned on me, while reading this post about good coming out of bad, that when the paramedics we’re loading Sophia into the helicopter for life flight my mother called out the Lord’s name in vain.
After we arrived at the hospital my mother took my husband and I aside and asked us to forgive her for taking God’s name in vain. She felt the guilt. It opened a door for us to witness.
Both my parents now have opened their hearts since the other night when this tragedy happened.
I truly believe that if it was not for this incident that they would not have been receptive to the gospel.
I also believe that I would not have been able to really realize how much I truly depend on The Lord and how He truly is my source of comfort and protection in the time of storm.
Please also pray for Sophia as she is still in ICU and my parents that they accept the Lord as Saviour.
I am SO thankful that the Lord brought me to your post this evening.
Thank you Jessica for this post. Word cannot express how much this post has spoken to my heart this evening. God is good and there are so many things to be thankful for!
Dear Rosemarie,
I am SO sorry to hear about what you all have been going through! What a horrible thing to have happen! Honestly, I think my reaction would have been similar to how yours initially was. I’m glad to know this post was an encouragement to you during this time.
Truthfully, I had another post I had planned to publish but then changed my mind last minute the day before Thanksgiving. I typed this one up on the spur of the moment. I wasn’t going to do a Thanksgiving post, but the idea struck me to write about unexpected blessings. I thank God it turned out to be so timely.
Since I read your comment I have been praying for you and your family. I hope your niece gets through this alright.
With Christian love,
~Jessica
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! I hope your day was blessed. This year for me has had both very good times and some rather difficult ones. But through it all God has been so faithful that I find I cannot and must not complain. He works in wondrous ways, and I am so grateful for His constant care, comfort, guidance, etc. He has truly done the impossible for my family. I honestly don’t know how people go through tough trials without the assurance of God’s promises that we have as His children. My heart breaks for such people. It causes me to pray for the people I know who don’t have the Lord all the more fervently.
Thank you for your uplifting comment, Elisa! And I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, too!
Yes, it is the assurace of God’s promises that help us get through the hard times, I agree! It’s Hope and Trust in God that keep our gaze lifted upward when everything down here seems to be going all wrong, for a time. I find it hard not to complain, but I am trying to be intentional about acknowledging the blessings and recognizing the good in the bad. It’s definitely something that has to be practiced and learned, isn’t it? Thanks for a great reminder! I’m glad to hear that God has helped you and your family through the hard times that you mentioned. May He continue to lovingly care for you and your family!
~Jessica
Wow! God’s timing is always perfect.
Sophia survived although she still has a long bumpy road ahead.
Thank you so much for your prayers!
In Christ’s love, Rosemarie
Thank you Jessica for this post. This is exactly what God is teaching me. I am trying to rejoice whenever a trial comes my way. It’s quite exciting at times as I wait and see what God will do to turn around a situation or what good will come out of a bad situation. I’ve found watching Oscar Sande’s testimony on YouTube such a blessing, his wife died recently and he just rejoices because he can see God turning a bad situation into good.
Thank you for this post.
You’re welcome, Lou! I’m happy to hear that this post resonated with you. I like the idea of watching to see God at work in our lives, to see how He will turn something “bad” into something good. It certainly takes discipline, doesn’t it, to train ourselves to think in this new way? How wonderful that God is helping both of us learn this lesson!
~Jessica
You’re welcome, Rosemarie! I’m so glad to hear that Sophia has gotten through the other day’s emergency okay! Please keep me updated as things go along; I will keep praying, as God brings you and your family to my thoughts. 🙂
~Jessica
This was a great post, Jessica. Here are some unusual blessings that I can think of:
– Hyperemesis Gravidarum – This really cured me of my “I am so amazing, I can handle everything!” attitude (on a physical level). Oh, yes.
– Parenting Challenges – Part II of above, this one cured me of my “I am so amazing, I can handle everything!” on a spiritual/mental/emotional level. It also completely removed my superiority complex that I had (unknowingly) developed from years of being the at the head of everything in school. I quickly learned that when it comes to parenting, I am at the back of the pack. (Why yes, that would be my child over there having a tantrum. Of course.) Very disconcerting, but good for one in the end. (The humility, that is!)
– My father having cancer, as well as nearly dying from an infection – Oh, my. I am so embarrassed to say how completely lacking I was of compassion for those who lost parents (or siblings) to death. For some reason I was completely compassionate about someone losing a child, but just didn’t understand the grief of losing a parent. I barely paid attention when someone told me that her parent had died, and I guess that’s because I didn’t see (unconsciously, again) how something that was part of the natural process of life could be that upsetting. (Oh, how I despise myself for even saying that.) In the year since all of this has come down the pipeline, I have learned compassion for those suffering through the same griefs.
Having a child with special needs – I have to admit another ugly truth, that in the past I usually just avoided people with severe special needs. From the weird looks we get whenever we take G. in public, I think many people are the same way. But now, not only do I BELIEVE that people with special needs are fully deserving of the love of God and man, but I have a chance to act it out, demonstrate it, and be a pro-life example in the real world. I also have an instant connection with other people who have someone with special needs in their family. It’s a great chance to affirm people. When we go up and compliment a baby with Down Syndrome, what we are really saying is, “I love your baby, God loves your baby, good job for not taking the Planned Parenthood route of disposing of your precious baby as an ‘inconvenience’.”
I could go on, but I think I’ve revealed enough of my flaws today!! 🙂
Love,
Diana
Dear Diana,
Thank you for sharing some of your “flaws”! Your honesty is so refreshing and makes me feel much better about myself and my own flaws. How good of God that He uses the horrible things in life as a means of producing many worthy outcomes that perhaps would not have been possible otherwise. It’s not the way I would have done it, but He knows something I don’t know, for sure!
I am always very impressed with how well organized you are! I am also very impressed with how you’ve gotten through hyperemesis multiple times and have patiently and lovingly cared for your special needs child and your father with cancer– all while homeschooling your other children! You are an amazing woman, and I can see God working in you and through you. And on top of it all, you find time to leave me an encouraging comment!
Thanks for being a supportive friend!
~Jessica