My 6-year-old daughter, Nayla, looked up at me with large, brown eyes. “Mama, I hope we never move. I love our house!” Then she wrapped her small arms around my waist and gave me a heart-felt squeeze.
I looked down at her, amazed. “What, exactly, do you you love so much about our house?”
“I love our play room where we play and do school. And I love our yard where we ride our scooters. I hope we stay here forever and never sell it, ever!”
As she said this I looked around skeptically: blocks misplaced along the skirting from the time we were trying to encourage a couple of skunks to evacuate; chipping, peeling paint on the steps; weeds poking through the wire fence from the neighbor’s yard into ours. And this was what she loved? I, for one, didn’t feel that I loved it.
Maybe I would feel more affection if things were fixed up a bit. But fixing things up takes money, time, and energy — none of which we’ve had much of recently. Or ever. Sometimes, as I daydream about all the repairs I’d like to have done, frustration starts to creep in. Then comes depression casting its shadow. I know the Lord says to be content with such things as we have, but my rebellious heart replies, I’d be more content after the skirting is properly constructed. I’d be more content if we had a sturdy, private fence or wall around our yard. I’d be more content if everything were painted with a fresh coat of happy yellow.
And little Nayla says she loves our house just the way it is. Does she not notice all the run-downness? Does that not bother her? Maybe not. It seems to me, after pondering this a little, that it’s not so much her play room or back yard she loves:
-It’s the family God has given her (in other words, siblings to play with in her play room and back yard). There really wouldn’t be much to enjoy, all on her own.
-It’s the way we’ve tried our best to turn this old worn-out place into a home. All of those personal touches speak of “mama” and “daddy” to her; they are reminders to her of our care and devotion.
I believe these are the things that have made such an impact on her joyful, six-year-old life, and she simply expresses that to me by saying, “I love our house!”
(Below: the play/school room)
UPDATE Dec. 28, 2022: It’s been about four years since I wrote this short piece, and I can happily say that we have been able to make a few renovations since then. Our yard is now complety fenced in, front and back. The skirting has been replaced with some sturdy concrete siding. And the house has been painted a coat of “happy yellow,” among other repairs. I’m so thankful God came through for us in these ways!
I love your little house! It always feels warm and cozy. I too look at our house and there are things that I wish we can do to it but we can’t afford it. Things like take out the dead weeping willow tree , fix the floor that leads to the patio, put a fence around our back yard to keep the wildlife out and more that we just do. I’m learning contentment but oh Jessica is it ever so hard!
Oh, I’m glad you can relate, Regina!
It is hard to learn contentment. As in, it is an every-day struggle that has to be dealt with moment-by-moment, for me. Even though God could have provided more, I think He gave us just what He thought we needed, because our spiritual development is so important to Him — certainly more important than having everything “just right.” At least, that’s what I feel I’m learning.
Thank you for the compliments on our house! That makes me feel so much better!
~Jessica
P.S. Regina, I forgot to add that I like your house, too! The time we visited you all I thought it was so cute and comfortable. 🙂 I like your little personal touches (like the decorative stickers on the washer and dryer).
The play/school room looks so nice.And I like words of the flower pots!
Thanks so much for your refreshing remarks, Sanae! I’m glad you like it!
~Jessica
Oh, I know all about this. We have a house that totally meets our needs, but it is so easy to look around to see THIS and THAT and THIS and THAT that need to be fixed/improved/painted/replaced/etc. Discontentment comes so easily!
You are so right in your conclusions, as well – it’s loving family and best efforts that make a joyful home, not fancy finishings. It’s so easy to forget that.
For me, I sometimes have to fend off the comments from well-meaning people, that since our family is SO BIG, we surely are going to buy a BIGGER HOUSE, RIGHT??? It really helps me to look back a couple of generations and realize how large families were successfully raised in much smaller spaces!! (Besides, more house is more house TO CLEAN. No, thank you!!)
Your room that you showed is lovely!! Good job for you!!
Love,
Diana
Diana,
I always find your comments so funny! They always make me smile and feel more lighthearted! Thanks for that!
I loved everything you said. I also appreciate your mentioning that people in previous times had smaller homes for their big families. Like, one or two rooms sometimes to serve as kitchen/dining/living/bedroom all in one. They would have to roll up their bedding and stash it in a corner during the day, and roll it out to sleep on the floor at night. Really, we’re all spoiled, ha, ha!
And, many people all over the world live in much smaller homes than we do here in the US. We’re all a bunch of rich folks compared to them. Reminding myself of that helps me keep things in perspective.
So glad you can relate to my feelings! 🙂
~Jessica